Update

Thank you friends and complete strangers for all your prayers and support. Tarzan and I really appreciate it. As does QC and Teaq. And MIL and FIL, QC's parents. Also D34 and BTM, MQ's parents. And B, S, J, R, P, R123, R12, B2, B3 and all of the family and friends of QC and MQ. Unfortunately duty called me back before the funeral but Tarzan described it as beautiful. Rocketgirl and PFidle violined gorgeously and the singing, poetry and flowers we all lovely. As expected, the heartbreaker was little Teaq, as he does not have the same understanding of eternal marriage and the afterlife as the grown ups do. So when they closed the coffin the poor baby cried, which made everyone else cry and etc., etc. Tarzan cried when he told me about it last night. QC is much stronger and walking - albeit slowly - and he will be okay. It sucks. It sucks so much, for all of us, but for him and Teaq especially.

This is me, back and going on.
(Lola, darling, I am so sorry that I didn't get to see you this time. I wish you much success with this semester of school. It always seems to suck hardest before it gets better.)

Awfully Numb

Nothing like some REALLY bad news to make you feel like a whiny baby for complaining about a few rehearsals and some shopping. There's no good way to tell news like this. Even if I'm only typing it.
Simply, Tarzan's brother and wife were in really bad car accident last night. QC (the brother) is okay. He was thrown from the car and landed in the gravel on the shoulder of the road. He's got 20 stitches in his head and lots of scrapes and bruises and he'll probably ache for days, but he's okay. MQ is not. Massive internal injuries, surgery for hours last night, did not regain consciousness...She died this morning. They have a two year old son, Teaq.
We are, of course, flying out to be with Tarzan's and MQ's families, most of whom live near there. Rocketgirl is coming from the Deep South. M's siblings are coming from where they come from. I've had emails and calls from Tarzan's other siblings and cousins and family. We're asking each other how we are, but I don't think anyone knows. It's so weird really. I don't know how to feel. Stunned for sure. Sad? Of course. I haven't cried yet, though I expect to do some of that before the week's out. I've never known anyone who died before. Well, that's not entirely true. My mother's parents and my father's mother have all passed away in my lifetime. (My dad's father died before I was born.) I wasn't able to go to their funerals though. But grandparents are expected to die. They're old and have lived a long time. This is the first time someone of my generation has died. My first funeral. What should I say? What can one who is family-but-not-quite do? There are people taking care of Teaq, and QC, looking after the cleaning, the phone calls, the funeral arrangements, the meals. I'm at loose ends. I'm trying to do some work here before we go but it's so weird to be normal-like knowing that people I know and love are enduring hard things. I can't imagine what going on without Tarzan would be like. And going on with kids...I don't know what to do other than pray. Tarzan's being stalwart. As the oldest child that's his character. I think it will be hard for him soon though. He was so happy when QC and MQ got married. If two people were ever made for each other they were. I'm so thankful for our faith and the understanding that marriages and relationships go on beyond this life. But the being separated certainly sucks in the meantime. So, that's my plan, such as it is. Be there for Tarzan. That and pray. Hard and often. Pray for QC and for Teaq. For MQ's parents. For her siblings. For QC's parents. For Tarzan and Rocketgirl and PFiddle.

This is me, numb and unsure.

I'm Officially Nuts

Why do I do this to myself EVERY SINGLE YEAR? The weekend was been a whirlwind and it's going to keep on for the next two weeks - actually three. The Primary, (little squirts) which means the leaders too, decorated the Christmas tree for our building on Saturday at 10am. That meant I had to be there earlier to dig the tree and the decorations out of the closet, test all the lights, put the tree together and then string the lights. Not quite by 10 did it happen but close enough for governement work, as my mother says. I also had to pick up three kids in my neighborhood - if my neighborhood you mean within 100 square miles - so I tried to keep them entertained while doing all the digging and testing and stringing. They sort of helped, but not really. Then the kids all had to go home again. Then it was the usual shopping, cleaning, laundry I did not get to, and lesson prepping for Sunday. Have you ever had to be two places at once? Sunday is NOT a day of rest for either Tarzan or myself. I needed to be introducing "Adeste Fideles" to the grown men in one room, while AT THE SAME time teaching the middle aged squirts (4-10yrs) in another room AND helping the babies (18mos-3yrs) with an activity in a third room. After that was over - thank goodness for great counsellors and my sister - I had to teach a lesson to the kids almost ready to age out. After THAT I had to lead the music for the whole congregation. And after THAT I had to check with people I had already asked, round up more people to ask and then schedule rehearsal times for all the numbers in the Christmas program the Sunday before Christmas. Whew. Then! I got to go home to start making some presents for Christmas and start our list for Christmas cards. (Yes, I am really late with those this year.) Tonight, Wednesday and Friday I have rehearsals for musical numbers for the program. Saturday my sister from up north comes in and we have the church Christmas party. While I am not planning it this year we are still responsible for a number of pieces of it. Bringing food of course, some music, some decorations. The candy that Santa gives out to the children. Sunday will be more practicing and teaching and we're also doing a craft with the little ones. A frame with their picture in it. Aww, cute! This sounded like a better idea back in July...
The week after that will be when I get to family shopping. It had better be or all people are getting from me this year will be a smile. And at some point I have to mail the stuff to England for my sister, brother-in-law and nephew over there...Ohh! Secret Santa presents too. There will be rehearsals next week too and then it's the 23rd and the program and then it's Christmas. Too soon! Too soon!

This is me, busy, busy as a bee.

Chocolate Pop Tarts

Christmas meme, Christmas meme!
Onesome: Chocolate-- The joy of the Christmas season? Boxes of See's and Godiva and other "Food Pron" showing up at the office? How do you feel about chocolate at the holidays? Yeah, really!

• Well, I loves me some chocolate - no question there. It's so velvety and smooth. I am most definitely a soft center kind of girl. No nuts in the chocolate for me. And the boxes do show up at the office. Strange, how this will be the last Christmas I'll be in an office and have these tres expensive looking packages arrive laden with food and drink that is so NOT good for you that you have to diet for a month after just LOOKING at it...So yeah, the chocolate is good. But is it the joy of the season? No.

Twosome: Pop--ping into your mind as the next thing that you only find this time of year? What are you looking forward to/forgot to go by to check on/oh, heck, it's time for? Pick one and go for it!

• Well, other than the obvious, like pine trees and wreaths and candy canes...I like the variety in baking supplies that come out this time of year. The gingerbread. And the ornaments. And the cards. And the lights. It's cliche I know, but really, I like everything Christmas related and most of it only comes out at this time of year.

Threesome: Tarts-- ...and is it also "candle time" around the place (work or home)? ...and do you use those 'tarts' to make the place smell nice? (Google it if you aren't familiar with them.)

• See last week's meme about smelly stuff at home. Plus there's the baking and the tree and wreath that give our house it's scents during the Christmas season. So no, we don't add candles or nothin' to spice up the air at home or work. But the tarts look really cute. There's a whole series of candles that look like candy/edible items. Hopefully no one eats them by mistake. Tarzan's mother has a bowl of glass candy on her living room table and it freaks a lot of people out when they reach for a treat.

This is me, loving the Thursday meme.

Little Darlings

I've started making the little loaves of bread we take to parties and give to people we like during Christmas. I try to start early because I only have four little loaf pans...and it only just occurred to me to buy more. (Yes, I AM a genius, why do you ask?) Plus I need to have 2 hour blocks of time in which to preheat, mix and bake for 45 minutes to an hour. Anyway. Last night I thought I was all kinds of smart to get a batch of banana bread into the oven while we watched Heroes. It was done just in time to remove it from the pans, cover it (I am not SO clueless, see?) and then get to bed. The thought, "move the bread to the counter," passed through my head as I fell asleep and I curse myself for not getting up and doing it immediately. But I didn't. So I woke up this morning and wandered into the kitchen and congratulated myself on the bread still being covered. Until I UNcovered it and saw the chunks torn out of the top of EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Gah! I am not surprised that they did it - and I REALLY should have moved the rack to the counter since they don't jump up there - but which one is smart enough to have covered the evidence back up again?!

This is me, considering how a fur rug would look on my wall...

Just Let It Go

Kind of funny how after NaBloPoMo we all stopped writing and take a breath before posting again. It was hard to think of quality stuff every day. I could have whined about the office every day but that's not quality reading and it makes me ill after a while. Speaking of the office however...
Turns out I don't know when to leave it alone. Why do I have to push and "make" someone see my point. I have a deep seated inferiority complex somewhere that makes me need to be right in all situations. I have a compulsion to "be right." Tarzan and I have had numerous fights because of my inability to let go. I blame my teddy bear doctor...And I have NO levitation capabilities. Can NOT make a joke of ANY thing. It's true. Just ask.
In this case I may have talked myself out of my Christmas vacation. Not really, because if the boss gets too dictatorial about it I will just quit early, but I shouldn't create the situation so that he CAN be all kinds of mean about it. It started all in good fun - people asking for time off after last week's crazy overtime hours. The Barracuda got out the time sheets and began reading off the amount of comp time we all have. I mentioned I would use up a bunch of it between Christmas and New Year's, and the boss temporized it with "as long as we don't need you here." I made the statement that since the building department is closed and the contractors don't work there wouldn't be anything to do anyway. He said of course they're open and it escalated from there. Nothing earth shattering - no yelling, no silent treatment - just a feeling of unease. It's not like he's going to lay down the law and make me come in that week. I should know by now that he makes a big stink about anyone taking time off and then lets us go and doesn't call hardly at all. After three years, I should KNOW that. But does that stop me? No. I disagree and it gets icky and I will now feel guilty about it all week.

This is me, really thankful for Tarzan who loves me anyway despite my argumentative tendencies.

Closing Down

Ha! Had you going there for a moment. Thought I'd poop out on this, the VERY LAST DAY of NaBloPoMo! Not so peeps. Not. So.
Well apparently the universe did not like my marshmallow joke from yesterday because we awoke this morning to the rain pouring down, and it's kept up pretty much all day. Now don't get me wrong, I love the rain, and we desperately need it. It's been months, almost years since we've had any decent rain in The Jungle proper. All the radio and TV stations are gearing up to do the be water wise commercials again. The cactus in my front yard gives me pitiful looks when I fetch the paper in the mornings, like "I'm drought tolerant, not allergic to water - pass the hose please"
So I'm loving that it's all wet and squishy out. Love also that my car is all shiny silver again and not that grey-ish/brown-ish/nondescript color it gets to be when I don't wash it for 6 months. Eh. If I don't have time to clean my house am I really going to make time to wash my car? Not so much. The point being I love the rain, but did it have to come right on the heels of my saying it isn't raining? Like the sky reads my blog and rained just to spite me...That would be cool, if the sky read my blog. Do you think the sky gets DSL? Maybe it uses wireless. But I digress. So after being slighted by the heavens...it is the rainy season here finally and I like it.
And one more random thought to send you home with today - yeah, I get to go home tonight. At a relative normal time. It's been a loooooong week, lemme tell ya. But it's going to the printer's tonight and then I am done. Not thinking all weekend. That's not the random thought. This is: have you ever noticed how the last five minutes of sleep seem to do more than the previous 6 hours and 55 minutes? I was shocked awake at 6am this morning by one cat chasing another cat across my midsection and I was so groggy I barely could lock the door after I threw them out into the rain. (Stupid animals. They have the entire rest of the house. Do. Not. Jump on me when I am sleeping. Really, I am not kidding.) So I went back to bed for the remaining 45 minutes and when I got up again I was amazingly refreshed. Like, better than I have felt for days kind of refreshed. It was excellent. Would that I could do it multiple nights in a row. Ahh...if wishes were Ferraris...:-)

This is me, after posting every day for a month, aren't you bored of this drivel yet?!

Therapeutic Moisturizing Lotion

Onesome: Therapeutic-- household add-ons: Do you use candles or aroma therapy or bath soaps or salts around your place?

• We're not big on smelly stuff around the house. With three people and six cats in a 750 sq.ft. space we have all the smells we need. We like it to smell clean and fresh. Chlorine is the smell I associate with clean but sticking your head in a bottle of bleach will give you a headache after a while. So we open the windows after cleaning. Tarzan and I have a few candles we pull out for special occasions but nothing fancy.

Twosome: Moisturizing?-- How's the weather been? It's the rainy season in the US; what's happening where you live?

• Well. We live in the US but it sure ain't raining on us! The Jungle is on fire actually. Less so than last month but I still have the urge to roast marshmallows...Sunny, nearly every day and as long as you don't live in the hills, it's just like March.

Threesome: Lotion-- Since it's Winter in the Northern Hemisphere, it's dry skin time (yes, you too, Mark!). Do you have any hand lotion suggestions for the gang?

• I use the lotions all year. I find I have dry skin on my hands and with the washing to make sure I don't get sick from all the people in the office it necessitates some lotion consumption. I like Vaseline Intensive care. It is thick but not greasy and it works right away. It's good stuff. With the dry air I have to pull out the Carmex too, for the lips. Keeps 'em smoochably moist!

This is me, with the weekly meme. Loving The Back Porch peeps!

Season Five Stink-eth

Nooooooo! No, no, no, no no no nonononononono. Poo. I can't really say I was surprised when Helio won Dancing With The Stars last night, but I was very disappointed. All the judges said that Melanie was the better dancer, she got the most points in the last three weeks and over the entire season and she was way nicer. I might not even watch Season Six next spring. (Yeah, who am I kidding?) Though Maks did say he's not coming back for another season. And of course there's all this media crap about Julianne calling off her wedding and Helio his so they can be together, blah, blah, blah, wretch. Plus now Julianne is a back to back champion so there can be some contrived rivalry next time between her and Cheryl. Cheryl is far and away the better teacher and the better person, if anyone was interested.
It was nice to see the other contestants back. Tony and Jane with the both-feet-2-feet-off-the-floor-at-least-so-there Carrie Ann waltz was nice. I was astonished again at why Albert went home so early. The man could dance - and he was hot! And as I think we have figured out already, women do the voting, not men. Is a puzzlement.
The best part of the night - flat out, funniest, most entertaining part - was when, after Cameron's dance, he did as he promised if he made it to the finals, and took off his shirt and flung it at Sam, who was so excited she didn't say anything, Tom made a joke and Bruno and Drew, who was sitting in for Len for a second, both got up and Bruno took off his jacket and Drew started undoing his belt! Maybe you had to be there, but it was REALLY funny.

This is me with my Monday and Tuesday nights free again.

All Thumbs

Today has not been a good day for my left thumb. I think I have narrowed it down to one of two likely afflictions. I either have carpal tunnel OR I strained the tendon that bends that thumb. (Those are different right?) Carpal tunnel because it hurts most when I am at work and constantly thumping the space bar with that thumb. Also it felt a lot better over the weekend when I wasn't. Thumping that is. A strained tendon because it feels like I need to pop it or something, like when you lift a bag of groceries and your elbow doesn't bend correctly and it twinges funny for a moment...That happens to other people too yes? But my thumb is not really getting better. Some days it feels mostly fine; only hurting if I lift something heavy and other days, like today, it hurts no matter what position it's in. Today I can't pick up a pencil because it hurts so much. And it twinges at odd moments with no reason, like when answering the phone, with my RIGHT HAND?! Weird and also annoying and a little worrying.
I really should go see the doctor and have it massaged, acupunctured, put in a cast or cut off - whichever is going to require the least effort. Plans for world domination? SO behind schedule people!!
One of my friends says we should call it Jane's Thumb. And there will be research grants and charity drives and all sorts of things to help others with the same disability. He's cute.
What it really means is that I should stop working and really let it rest...oh wait, I am! In about a month +/-. Sweet!

This is me, hurting thumb and all.

Letter To Me

I heard a new song on the radio the other morning – this guy writing a letter to his 17-year old self and it made me think, what I would write to my 17-year old self? I don't think I would CHANGE anything majorly if I could go back. I had what was a fairly tame teenager-hood. No tattoos, piercings, weird haircuts or dye jobs to regret. Hmm, it seems I WAS a goody-two-shoes like they said. I guess I was pretty naive then. Not that I’m not now, but I REALLY was then. What would I say to myself?

• Don’t rush the first kiss – it’ll be better if you don’t
• Don’t bug RS quite so much. Guys like to do the pursuing
• Make dad tell you why something is right or wrong, don't just accept it because he said it
• Study harder, especially physics and chemistry
• Do what you want, not what’s cool (gah, I sound like a PBS special)
• Take the chances/opportunities that are offered you
• Work on more stage productions
• Consider what your major in college SHOULD be
• Essentially, get to know yourself first, then worry about who else you’re getting to know

How about you? Anything you would tell your 17-year old self?

This is me, reflecting.

Are We There Yet?

I was sitting there, minding my own business, listening to the speakers in church, reflecting on what a nice day it had been. I had talked to all the people I needed to, got commitments for playing/singing/reading for the Christmas program, the lessons were done, the activities completed...why did I feel this sense of dread creeping up on me? Oh yeah. Tomorrow is Monday and it's back to the salt mine for a VERY intense week wherein I may not get to come home at all. I know, it's only a week (give or take 4 days) and I should be able to summon up the energy for this last sprint to the finish line. For all intents and purposes once this project is submitted to the building department I am done. There are lots of little items that will need cleaning up, forms to sign and get recorded, the corrections from the building department, but this last push is it. Why don't I feel enthused? I am SO not a good enduring to the end kind of girl. Maybe I just shouldn't take vacations. Then I would forget what rest and peace and quiet feel like and I wouldn't yearn for it so much. It's true. I've noticed when I have a project to do, packing and moving, decorating, cleaning, whatever, once I an geared up to do it I like to just charge on through to the end. I'll stop to eat, drink or breathe after it's all done. If I stop in the middle I lose my momentum. I've lost my momentum.

This is me, wondering, is it over yet?

Trypto-what-now?

Some families get tired after eating all that turkey and stuffing. They talk amongst themselves when Thanksgiving dinner is over, maybe watch a little football, share some arts and crafts type methods, discuss recipes. Not us. Nooooo. Jane's family gets weird. Check out this pictorial trip through the evening. The beginnings of all the goodness: The lovely table:

My lovely mother cooking while the rest of us "help":

The food was excellent and being the genius I am I did not take a picture of the groaning table or the aftermath, OR the beautiful pies. We did talk some, the boys were in the middle of Might & Magic 7:

We played a board game:

In which my second brother accused our father of cheating:

And I guess the game got us all worked up because then the hilarity ensued. There was some mugging for the camera:

And some rolling on the floor - sorry about the blinds, mother:

Some acrobatics I don't even remember what were all about:

A pile-up on our mother:

And the long-suffering Tarzan, highly bemused by us all:

This is me, spending time at home.

Over The Years

All the weird pictures we took with my family at Thanksgiving will have to wait - I promised a meme and a meme you shall get, dear, dear friends inside my computer.
Onesome: Over-- and under. Above and below. Up and down. How's about at least a pair (three would be ideal) of matching phrases?

• In and Out (also a good place to eat)
• To and Fro
• This and That
• Hot and Cold - are we just talking opposites here or is there more to this question?

Twosome: the-- next day? Black Friday! Are you going shopping? Decorating? Working? Hiding in the closet?

• There is no way I would venture out to shop on today of all days. First, it's a madhouse. Why? I don't know. All the stores did was mark stuff up last week so they could offer a "reduced" price for today. And it is SO not relaxing to fight people for items neither or us want merely because it's "on sale." We stayed home. Watched some football. It was good. Might make that another family tradition.

Threesome: Years-- of research have proven that more years of research are needed! What would you like to see researched? ...and don't go high; this is 'just us folks' here; I'm thinking: whether there's enough cheese in mac and cheese!

• How to stack and store all the different sizes of plastic containers. If they are all the same brand then sure they stack together. But some are from Tupperware and some are Glad and some are from my mom and some were given to me...They take up A LOT of room for what they are.

This is me, in the middle of a really nice long weekend. Not even thinking about work next week. Not. At. All.

Thanksgiving 2007

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

everybody!!

Is it just me or does the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade have more commercials than floats? I get that they need sponsors and dough to keep this thing going every year but really? In the last hour we've had 45 minutes of advertisements and 15 minutes of Broadway show numbers, which are cool and all, but it's not the parade man...

Why, then, do the Rockettes make me all emotional? Seriously, they started their high kicks and I got all teary. Also the high school marching band from Tennessee who are marching in missing man formation for members of their school who died this year. And the Barbie float. And the Snoopy balloon. And Santa Claus. Gah. I am such a girl.

In keeping with Jungle tradition, I present the things I am most thankful for. My three kernels this year are:

1. Tarzan. He's a good man and he's good to me. I won't nauseate you too much but I am very thankful for him and all he does to provide for us. He is the reason I can quit in January and become the mother of his children.
2. My health. Despite all the whining and wishing I do I am healthy. And I definitely could not be. In reading a lot of the blogs I have become increasingly aware of all the issues I COULD have so I am thankful I don't.
3. Our house. It's small and it needs a lot of maintenance and I whine about how I want a bigger one (do you sense that I whine a lot? Hmm, maybe that'll be one of my New Year's resolutions) but it is ours and I love it. It's been kept safe all our years here and we are so lucky and thankful for that.

I asked Tarzan what his kernels were this year - he didn't want to blog it - and he said "you, my second job [yes, the man has two jobs] and the gospel [the principles of our religion]" That is another reason why I love him - he keeps the big picture when I get bogged down in the details.

We are off to Palm Springs for dinner with my parents and siblings but we are thinking of Tarzan's parents and siblings in Colorado! Love you!

This is me, overflowing with the thanks.

My Age Is 30

We're mixing it up this week. Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving I'm postponing my usual Thursday meme - from the good folks a The Back Porch - until Friday. To prevent my faithful readers from developing withdrawal symptoms at a lack of a meme, I give you this one from my good friend RHM. It is tres simple.
Put a 'X' in every box that applies to you - elaborate if you wish - the best part of these meme things is the story behind the answer.
[X ] You know how to make a pot of coffee - well I understand the concept and I have done it once, but they asked me to never do it again.
[X ] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[X ] You own more than one credit card
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car
[X ] You've done your own laundry
[X ] You vote in every election
[X ] You can cook for yourself
[X ]You think politics are exciting
TOTAL SO FAR: 7
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[ ] You show up for school/college/work every day early - HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Are they kidding?
[X ] You always carry a pen in your bag/purse
[X ] You've never gotten a detention - I was 'excused' from class once for laughing too much.
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[ ] You like to take walks by yourself
[ ] You've watched talk shows
[X ] You know what credibility means, without looking it up
[ ] You drink coffee at least once a week
TOTAL SO FAR:10
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[X ] You know how to do the dishes
[X ] You can count to 10 in another language
[X ] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[X ] Your parents trust you
[X ] You can mow the lawn - I CAN mow it - we just don't have any grass
[ ] You remember to water the plants
[X ] You can make adults laugh without being stupid ~ depends on the group and the day
[X ] You study when you have to - mostly
[X ] You pay attention at school/college/work - mostly
[X ] You remember to feed your pets - like they'd let me forget.
TOTAL SO FAR: 19
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[X ] You can spell experience, without looking it up
[ ] You work out/exercise on a regular basis
[X ] You clean up your own mess - and everyone else's
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[ ] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[X ] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need - I CAN, I just don't do it often
[X ] You understand political jokes the first time they are said - mostly
[X ] You can type quickly
TOTAL SO FAR: 24
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[X ] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party
[X ] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay
[ ] Most of your friends are older than you are
[X ] You can say no to staying out all night
[X ] you use the Internet every day - duh
[X ] Your wardrobe hasn't changed in a while - this is iffy, do I buy new clothes? yes. Are they same look as the old ones? yes.
[X ] You can read a book and actually finish it
TOTAL ADDED UP: 30
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Now repost as "My age is ___"

This is me, astounded that I am younger than I am.

Reflections On The First Year

Happy Blog Anniversary to me! It's been one year since I started sharing our adventures in the Jungle. 365 days, 180 posts. Is that a good average? That's a post every two-three days. 'Course NaBloPoMo is helping that average way out. I think I've gotten better at this blogging thing. More easy revealing all my secrets to the People In The Internet - I have SO many. I comment WAY more than I did before, which is to say, none. I made some new friends - yay Paula! - kept track of some family - yay Rocketgirl and MQ! - and stayed close to old (in time known, not age) friends - yay RHM! It's been a good year. Tarzan and I have come leaps and bounds (he even comments sometimes) - I wonder if writing about what a super guy he is brings it to my conscious mind so I'm more appreciative? Or if reading about other people's husband's makes me think of mine and reminds me what a super guy he is?
******************************************************************************************
Before I get all mushy again, let's talk DWTS - it's been a while. My picks are Melanie, Helio and Marie in the finals. Sorry Jennie. I vote for her but I don't know if she has the fan base that the others do. Marie Osmond, for example; all the Mormons in the world (nearly 12 million) are voting for her. Melanie has all of Europe voting for her and Helio has the south voting for him. In my perfect world Melanie would win, Marie would come in second and Helio would get bumped BUT we know how often I read this show correctly. Though, when I think about it, the second season DID go exactly how I wanted it to, with Stacey Keebler coming in third. Hmm, guess we'll have to watch and see.

This is me, still blogging along.

This time last year in the Jungle: What Better Day?

Almost Like Having Kids

Tarzan, bless his sweet heart, finally MADE me buy a camera to replace the one I squished. It's almost the same model as we had before, only the new one is a little smaller and has 18X optical zoom instead of 12X. Sweet! I'm all scared to use it though for fear I will do something to this one too. And I feel guilty that there had to be a new one to begin with. This will haunt me to the ends of my days undoubtedly.

To break it in we have a few pictures of our newest kitty. She was pretty scraggly and small when we brought her home but now she's all plump and filled out: Her tail is way long proportionally. She "plays" with the two males by jumping on their necks when they walk in the door. Ice takes it in stride - like an uncle who will stand a little bit of roughhousing. Ocelot just smacks her down and goes to eat. Doesn't stop her from jumping on his neck the next time though. None of the three girls get along with her - lots of hissing and swiping with paws when they meet up - though Lantern, Mikey and Train Wreck get along with each other. Weird. Belle is also a greedy little thing, begging at the table if we have anything meat or milk related or jumping on the counter when I'm making dinner. Tarzan is doing his level best to put the fear of god into her when she does so. Here's Belle practically climbing in the measuring cup after I made buttermilk waffles on my day off. (Was it only a week ago?):

If we are setting a precedent here, I get to be the good cop when we have kids.

This is me, back to clicking.

Whiney Post

Why can't I do all that I need to without getting tired and/or losing motivation? Other people manage it just fine. My in-laws are crazy people, flying here and there to do conferences and teach clinics while both still teach full time. My MIL raised four kids while teaching school and giving music lessons. My parents had nine kids - three still live at home - they both have jobs and they raise and train horses. What is wrong with me that after working, planning stuff for church and cooking dinner, I can't find the time to vacuum once in a while? There's a family at church who are getting ready to have their tenth kid and their house it always neat and tidy. Even the kid's rooms. I mean, look at Snickollet. She's raising twins on her own AND holding down a full time job, while being part of play groups and running a freaking marathon! I know we aren't supposed to compare ourselves to others, just do the best we can and pray hard for the strength to continue but I feel like I should be able to do more before I get tired and brain fried. I feel guilty that I don't cook for Tarzan most nights. He's home before me and makes something for himself usually. You've heard the laundry stories and let's not even talk about the size of the dust bunnies under the bed. The yard's a disaster. I can only imagine what the attic looks like now and I can barely reach the dryer because of all the crap stuffed in the shed. There's so much that I feel I should be doing and I just don't get to it. It depressing that I'm lazy or weak or whatever it is that keeps me from doing all that I should be doing.
On the other hand, the whole program with the kids at church today went really well. I was all nervous and stressed out beforehand and during but the kids seemed to take it in stride. They spoke out, looked at their parents, sang well and not a dry eye in the place. Lots of compliments about it being the best one ever. A success.
Then we had a committee meeting for the Christmas party. Since I'm not in charge of it this year - and really, I don't want to be, it's a lot of stress and hounding people and I have the Sunday program on December 23rd to plan and lead practices for - I have to be careful to not step on the chairperson's toes while knowing what she has planned isn't going to be enough for 100+ people.
Am I taking on more than I can handle? Am I worrying about stuff that I shouldn't be? Why can others seem to balance more than I can? Why can't I do it all?

This is me, looking down the barrel of another week and feeling overwhelmed.

Grumblings.

This NaBloPoMo thing gets hard after a while. Or maybe it's just that my brain is fried after being at work for 8 hours on a Saturday. Yes, work. Again. It sucks. Greatly. I'm grouchy today. How are you? The good news is that there is no game this weekend - we play Thursday of all things. Weird. The bad thing - besides the fact I am at work at all - is that part of my mind is stressed out over the program at church tomorrow. I mentioned, I believe, that I was asked to be to the head of the Primary (little squirts) at church. Once a year, usually in the latter quarter, the kids speak and sing in the "big" chapel for their parents, partly I guess to show off what they have been learning in junior Sunday School. Tomorrow is that day. And we have a lot of comme ci comme ca kind of kids. There is one family that is solid as a rock and I love them and their parents. But oft times I feel that they get dumped on and taken for granted because they can be counted on to be there and do as they are asked. How does one thank a family that you don't really socialize with, other than Sunday and a few select activities over the course of a year, but appreciate all the same? It is a dilemma.
In other news, but the same subject, this is a short week coming, and I certainly hope to be able to rest a little. Unlikely since some people are coming to Thanksgiving who will add to the stress rather than aid in the relaxation but whatevs. Few hours, some bird and then I go home to sleep and snuggle with Tarzan for a day. I likely will have to come to work on Friday...maybe only half day. We'll see. The office is going to owe me SO much comp time before I leave here. What are your plans for Thanksgiving?
But I have to get through tomorrow and the three days following first.

This is me, having should done the laundry so we have something to wear next week.

Plans Galore

"What are you going to do when you quit?"
This question amuses me greatly. Since we decided that I would quit at the end of this year we have slowly been telling people, mostly family, and now the office. Nearly everyone reacts the same way.
"Oh wow! That's exciting."
"What are you going to do with all your time?"
"Make sure you have something to do so you don't get bored."
Even the boss asked me that once he found out I wasn't pregnant. Find something to do? Are they kidding? Half the reason I am quitting is so I have some time to do all the stuff I can't do right now. Like clean the house. Seriously.
In no particular order here is just a sampling of all the things I have thought of to do when I will no longer be working.

• Sleep in
• Clean, reorganize and purge the house of all the crap we don't use
• Insulate the attic
• Read
• Visit my sisters-in-law in the Deep South and the Rockies
• Pave the patio in the backyard
• Visit Tarzan regularly for nooners
• Trim the trees and bushes in the front yard
• Beat Heroes of Might and Magic, SimCity 3000 and finish a game of Civilization - any version
• Audit a class just for the fun and knowledge of it
• Travel to Europe with Tarzan for 6 weeks
• Clear out the laundry shed - TOTALLY different from purging the house
• Go to the beach in the middle of the week
• Repaint the house and front porch
• Visit my sister in England and see my nephew who will be a year old in February!
• Clean all the windows
• Get pregnant with twins
• Answer all my email and comment on lots more blogs
• Do the laundry during the week so Tarzan and I can go out on Saturday
• Cook dinner from scratch rather than from a box and eat it at a decent hour, i.e. before 9pm
• Buy a hammock and relax in the daylight in the backyard

This is me, with plans, lots of plans for next year.

Note:***OMG I totally forgot to mention dancing! How could I? We're going to take ballroom and latin classes again and go out to dancing establishments!***

AND I forgot to mention ripping out all the carpet and putting in hardwood floors. And painting. Lots of home repairs.

Classic Christmas Elves

Let me just state my categorical disdain for anything Christmas before Thanksgiving is over. I refuse to look, buy or consider a holiday before all the ones before it are over. And yet, here we are with the Thursday meme. It's okay, for the The Back Porch peeps I will relent - just this once.
Onesome: Classic-- get togethers? Is that on the list for next week, say about Thursday? ...or do you 'lone wolf' the Thanksgiving season?

• Turkey day is all about the family. It's one of the calmest holidays, just some good food and some good people and some good football. And a really nice four days off from work. Not a lot to do and not a lot of effort if everyone brings something. Kinda what the whole holiday is about. Everyone getting along for the greater good of us all. It's nice.

Twosome: Christmas-- Ready or not, here it comes! Complete with shopping and decorations and wants and needs and yeah... Are you ready for the experience? ...or does a nice South Seas cruise sound like a workable alternative?

• Puh-leease. Christmas is THE season. Once we hit December 1st it's all bets are off and full speed ahead baby! Love the Christmas. Presents and cards and carols and hats and trees and lights and stars and it's all so fantastic! I am so ready.

Threesome: Elves-- and other helpers? Do you have any lined up to assist on Thanksgiving Day? ...or to decorate in the weeks to come. ...or do you even need them?

• I think, technically, I am one of the helpers. Bringing rolls and pie and siblings from all over. That's what I do. Well, we do. Tarzan is the man who does most of the picking up at 5:45am etc. Did I mention he's awesome? I do tons of shopping and decorating and all but I have help and I like to help and it's all about the end result anyway. If I WANT to do it, then it's not hard. And I loves me the holidays.

This is me, with the Thursday meme. Week 3 of NaBloPoMo begins right here!

More On The Leaving

It's amazing how the prospect of leaving lightens my mood. Like, since there's a specific end to the insanity of working I can not stress so much as when I was looking down the barrel of forever in this place. In any place. And the sad thing is this is not a bad place to work. Really. Shut up. Stop laughing! Seriously, stop.

Last night, working late again on that same competition, the boss asked if there was anything they could do to make me stay longer. I politely said that there really wasn't because I'm not leaving because I'm unhappy here. And it's true in a way. And really, this is the best of all the offices I have ever worked. At least in the camaraderie aspect - I do like MOST of the people here. (Seriously, stop it with the laughing.) And the pay is excellent. The location is awesome. It's the not this office that really makes me upset, though I have done my fair share of whining, it's the working as a principle that bugs me.
Plus, it's not like they could pay me enough to stay forever. No one has that much money.
MC was so cute yesterday (who'd have thunk I'd EVER say those words?) when he said, "I heard you're leaving us, my dear."

I said "Indeed. It's time for me to move on to other things."

He said "That's too bad. I've tried really hard to clean up my language."

Aww. So I thanked him for the thought, and reassured him that was not the reason I was choosing to leave the office.

Too bad they aren't that nice when they can't find something...

This is me, doing okay with the rest of this year.

J Is For Jigantic

This is a total cop-out I know, I know, I know. Many apologies peeps. But think of it this way: I received about seven of these this morning. Rather than fill your in-box with stuff you may or may not read and may or may not respond to, I offer this pleasant interlude to read or not read.
It seems one needs to fill out this form using the first initial of one's first name. It's also harder than it appears, (I've been told).
What is your name: Jane
4 letter word: Joke
Vehicle: Jogger (like the ones babies go in while mom runs/walks) but I TOTALLY should have put Jaguar instead. Way sexier.
City: Jacksonville
Boy Name: Jacob
Girl Name: Janelle
Alcoholic drink: Jackhammer (vodka and pineapple juice)
Occupation: Juggler
Something you wear: Jacket
Celebrity: Jacqueline Carey, or Jim Carey (author and actor respectively)
Food: Jelly beans
Reason for Being Late: Just could not get out of bed this morning...
Cartoon Character: Jerry (of Tom & Jerry)
Something you shout: Jerk!

This is me, joyfully going home now. Good-night.

A Day Off

If today were my last day on this earth I could not have asked for a better one. Sleeping in. Waffles for breakfast - do you know we received two waffle irons for our wedding? Reading The First 2,000 Years - really interesting series by W. Cleon Skousen. Quality, intimate time. Popcorn and a movie - Madagascar, which is old-ish I know, and a little shallow on the plot side, but really funny. Dinner out at Mozza - we tried something new, I had the goat cheese pizza - very nice - really loud though, and tight seating, it felt like we were eating with the nice family at the next table. Then ice cream - Coldstone Creamery naturally - we tried the seasonal pumpkin ice cream thing with whipped cream and caramel, which was aMAZing. Then watching Dancing With The Stars - come on Melanie! More reading and snuggling down in our awesome bed. And all with Tarzan by my side. Seriously, this man makes everything better. It was a really good day.

This is me, going back to the real world tomorrow.

Remembering

In The Frozen North we would be wearing poppies today. They call it Remembrance Day up there. I always like that tradition. The poppy. In America we make a big deal out of Memorial Day and we should definitely remember the soldiers in May - we should always remember those who put their lives on the line for our country. No matter the reason for the war, the soldiers should always be appreciated and honored.
But, I feel it appropriate somehow, to wear a bright red flower in a month that's all cold and grey. I remember the poppies could be seen across playgrounds and down the block. We remember. The following poem is quite famous and used almost religiously in connection with Remembrance Day. I hadn't thought of it since we left The Frozen North but it seems right to share it today. Thank you Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae.

IN FLANDERS FIELDS

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

This is me, thankful for those willing to serve their country, me and mine included, in the armed services, during peace-time and war. Thank you.

The Announcement

I told the boss I was quitting last night. Both bosses actually. We ended up working until almost 9:00pm on a "surprise" competition so it was just the three of us. Because I am taking Monday off - sort of a self enforced holiday, Veteran's Day you know - the boss needed some sheets finished before I left. I was so proud of myself for not blurting it out at a previous time in anger or when I was frustrated. I was really quite calm, and funny even, as I told them when (once we get the permits for this one project - which will likely be February not January as the turtle would suggest) and why (I don't have to, first, and I want to do other things, travel, take some classes, have kids, etc.) and what I would do to help ease the pain so to speak. This means I need to find and train a replacement. Not as easy a trick as it sounds. I realize that I whine and complain about the office a lot. Quite a lot. So much so that when I contacted some friends to see if they knew anyone who was looking for a job or if they were they said "Not if my life depended on it." Ooops. So. If you know anyone with AutoCAD training who might like a well paying job - I never mentioned that this office really does pay well, far above the industry standard if the truth be known, send them my way. Please.
I was a little surprised by the reaction from the boss and vice-boss when I told them. First, the boss asked "are you pregnant?" Rather than get snippy or whatever, I just laughed and said no, but if I was I wouldn't tell him. Then they said an awful lot of nice things about me. I'm not sure if it was because I'm leaving and they don't want to look for someone else or if they feel it's the obligatory thing to say or what. Very complimentary - "hate to lose you," "really hoping you'd make a career here," "shining pillar of an example," (pretty sure that was a joke). Makes me wonder what's on their minds when they yell at me and forget that they were the ones who told me to draw it that way in the first place? Or why I always take it so seriously? It's not like I'm the only one who gets the disappointing, how can we draw that speech. Am I really so touchy? That's something to think about later...
I felt bad for a little bit last night, while they were stroking my ego and hearing the boss sound so old and small. I've flattered myself for these three years that the office would fall apart without me, and while that isn't true I think the boss will miss me. Is that conceited? I hope I can find a replacement who will be generous to the office, not interested in only self promotion and will fill out their time cards like I do. I wonder if there is anyone like me? (That's probably conceited too.) This is the first time I voluntarily left an office, do you know? Previously, I've been laid off and traded. It's a weird feeling this quitting. I don't think I'll miss the office so much once I leave, but I will certainly feel a lot of guilt in the meantime.

This is me, one step closer to Liberation.

So Not (Un)Worthy

As you may have noticed, I removed the BlogRush icon from my page (if they think I’m linking to them now, they’re nuts) This is in part because I wasn't getting any traffic from them as promised, and in part (well all) because of this email they sent me.
"We regret to inform you that your BlogRush Account has been made INACTIVE because your blog did not pass our Quality Review criteria."

• As if my whining and literary (ha!) ramblings are below their notice. How rude. But, then my curiosity got the better of me – I’m not the crazy cat lady for nothing – and I looked up their so-called standards to see why I did not compute.

"We determined that your blog did not meet our strict quality guidelines. Please do not take this personally but realize that we must abide by a very strict set of quality guidelines."

• Certainly not. Like their telling me I suck would in any way bother me. (phifft) As if.

"BlogRush Quality Guidelines:- The blog contains unique, quality content that provides opinions, insights, and/or recommended resources that provide value to readers of the blog. Articles, videos, public domain works, press releases, and content written by others are okay to be used on the blog, but the ratio of unique content should far outweigh content from other sources."

• Do I not provide value to the readers of my blog? I try and offer a variety of subjects from pop culture and current events to stories from my past and psychological explorations. And I guarantee that it’s unique content. Does anyone else offer the detailed and quite unique dream opportunities that I do?

"The blog should be updated on a regular basis (at least several times a month) and should not just go a few months between posts."

• I used to be less diligent but I've been really good lately. Lots of posts…

"The blog should already contain at least 10-12 quality posts. New blogs with very little content will not be accepted."

• Duh.

"The blog's primary contain must be in English. BlogRush is currently not available for non-English blogs."

• I realize my spellinks t’aint always perfect but stills, I’s thinks it’s Engulish I’s using…

"The blog should not contain an excessive amount of advertising and links and very little actual content. The focus of the blog should be quality content."

• Are they suggesting I am not quality? My parents were married right here in this country thankyouverymuch. Still, other than the ad thing, that seems a really arbitrary qualification.

"The primary content of the blog should not be "scraped" content from other sources and/or script-generated pages for the sole purpose of search engine rank manipulation. The focus of the blog should be quality content."

• I don’t even understand what they’re forbidding, let alone do it on this blog.

"The blog's content (or advertising) should not contain any of the following types of content: hate, anti-racial, terrorism, drug-related, hacking, phishing, fraud, pornographic, nudity, warez, gambling, copyright infringement, obscene or disgusting material of any kind, or anything considered illegal."

• Hmm, I knew taking bets on my services as a crack carrying, gun wielding, computer hacking, unclothed woman was a bad idea…

This is me, hoping SOMEone in Internet-land still loves me. Anyone?

Motorola Phone Tools

Onesome: Motorola--, Sanyo, Samsung? Which brand of cell phone are you most pleased with?

• Despite the company being less than pleasant to a really stellar brother-in-law, most of my phones (well 3 of 4) have been from Motorola. I liked my first phone best. It was small, before flip phones were all the rage, and it had Toccata in Fugue in D Minor as a ring tone. It was awesome. Haven't had as good a ring since.

Twosome: Phone-- time, and more time, and more time... Okay, are you one of those who simply lives on their phone? ...or do you consider phones a necessary evil?

• Truth be told, I talk to Tarzan, my sister and my parents on my phone. Occasionally my friends, but none of them are big phone conversationalists. We prefer IM and email to work out get togethers and then we stay out for hours at a time to get all the information in. We're feast and famine for face to face stuff. I seem ot communicate best with the in-laws through Facebook and commenting on each other's blogs. Probably some of that is my schedule and their kids and the distance between our houses. Maybe next year I'll have more opportunities to talk to my sisters-in-laws?

Threesome: Tools-- of the trade? Do you use your phones more for work use or for personal use?

• Are you kidding? Personal use only. I don't want the freaks who call me all day at the office to be able to call me all night too! Fortunately I don't have the kind of job that requires 2am types of phone calls.

This is me, loving the Thursday meme! Beginning second week of NaBloPoMo now...

Little Old Ladies Are Best

Real quick today. I have never been in a meeting that lasted ALL. DAY. LONG. I did not even sit in my chair until just now and I am staying late just to blog for you peeps, so feel the love. Feel it, feel it! It's oozing out of the screen and onto your desk. Loving all around.
I heard this on the radio last night and it was too funny to not pass on. Don't know from whence it came but it is marvelous. A little old lady in Florida finished her grocery shopping and upon returning to her car discovered four teenage kids clambering all over it. She PULLS A HANDGUN FROM HER PURSE and proceeds to chase them off, screaming "Get away from my car you punks! I have a handgun and I know how to use it!" They race off, presumably scared half to death, she loads her groceries and gets in the driver's seat. Apparently she's a little rattled because it takes her a few tries to get the key in the ignition. But it won't turn. That's when she notices the football and six pack of beer sitting on the seat next to her...uh-oh. This is not her car!! So she loads up the groceries again and finds her car, after some searching, about 4 or 5 spaces down the same row. She loads her (actual) car and drives to the sheriff's office to report what she has done. Wait, wait, it gets better. Down the desk from her are four teenage boys reporting a car jacking by a little old lady with a handgun and curly white hair!!! As the radio announcer said, if you're going to have a senior moment, make sure it's a memorable one!
Smooches to you all!!

This is me, can't wait to be old.

I Am Slowly Going Crazy

I'm pretty sure I'm losing my mind. Slowly but definitely losing my mind. Witness all the weird dreams I have. Who's brain is THAT messed up? And it's starting to spill over into waking life. I almost had a meltdown in the office yesterday. This one project is killing me. Every day there's some element that makes it harder and more complicated to handle. I have done my utmost to monitor all the little things and make sure I know where everything goes. Friday I left, reasonably sure we were moving forward. Yesterday morning I come in to find all the sheets have been changed and the floors don't align anymore?!?!?!? I, politely, asked if anyone had touched these specific items, no one claimed responsibility, and I proceeded to try and fix the situation. Is it really my fault if I'm a little short when people ask me questions that are unrelated to the project that's due in 27 DAYS!? And am I not justified in being peeved when they mock me quietly and subtly ALL DAY LONG about the snap in the morning? I mean, wouldn't you be upset? I was not the most conciliatory employee yesterday. So fire me. I would say that was a solitary incident and not necessarily indicative of my pending insanity if not for last night's little episode. I woke up in the night sure that the cat sleeping next to me was dead. (The same cat that was making me feel really overheated.) I almost woke up Tarzan to...I don't know what - bury her maybe? - when she decided I was disturbing her sleep and jumped off the bed. I couldn't go back to sleep for the longest time and I think the other cats suspected something was wonky because they each came over to sniff my face and plop down on my chest for some scratches. Good thing I don't have any allergies.

This is me, in serious need of an extended vacation.

Anniversary Recap

It's official. We are old, married and boring people. Our idea of a fantastic anniversary weekend was to stay home, take a nap and eat a nice dinner. Well, mostly nice. Don't you hate when you plan something down to the last detail and then have it not come out right? I made lasagna for dinner last night, with salad and bread. The lasagna was good. The salad was good. The bread...not so much. Nothing specifically wrong with it, and Tarzan, sweet man that he is, eats anything I put in front of him, but I wasn't happy with it and it made dinner less than perfect. Then there was the adventure we like to call dessert. Berries with whipped cream. We also tried a pomegranate for fun, because neither of us had ever eaten one before. Pomegranates are a weird experience. Very labor intensive. First, you don't cut them open. You have to pull them apart. You can't eat the skin, or the flesh, only the seeds. And the best part: the seeds go ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE. Woke up this morning with a pomegranate seed in the cat's water bowl. Yeah. While eating, the seeds are like little explosions of taste, which is cool until you crunch the actual seed inside. Does one spit out the seed? Or just crunch it on down? Last night I was convinced there was arsenic in the seeds - like apples have - and we were all going to be poisoned by our dessert. Happy Anniversary honey, I'm going to die. Ahh, fun times. And the juice, good golly the juice! This pulling apart business pops a number of the little seeds and the juice stains. Stains my shirt, my hands, the counter, the wall, the stove, the floor, the cat...
In the less edible portion of the celebration there were mushy cards exchanged, a blog episode and other events that shall not be mentioned herein. It was a good year. Can't imagine myself spending the next 77 years with anyone else.

This is me, wishing it were still Sunday.

Ode To A Marriage

“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.”

Seven years. It sounds like a really long time. I guess it could be if I wasn't so completely happy and content with the state of our union. When Tarzan and I got engaged there were a lot of skeptics. A LOT. But here we are, seven years into forever and nearly all have recanted their opinion. Maybe because they learned what I knew at the very beginning: Tarzan is awesome! In school we learned that we are never 100% ourselves unless we are alone. No matter who or how well we know a person we are acting at least a little for them. I would dispute that. I am 100% myself when I am with Tarzan. From the very beginning I have felt completely comfortable with him. So much so, I didn't realize we were dating for a little while. It felt so...natural. I have never had to pretend with him. He accepts me as I am, loves me no matter what I do, and supports me whatever I decide. He is the hottest thing ever and I love him so much it’s hard to express the thought. Just saying love is not enough. The word is too small. It’s the feeling of security, of warmth, of well being, of humor, of being looked after…but also looking after. It’s glorious. He is the man for me.
Not to say we didn't or don’t disagree ever. We've had some excellent fights - we once went three days without speaking. But when we kiss and make up it’s over and forgotten. And we always want to kiss and make up. Looks like there’s something to this eternal marriage business. To know that he wants to be with me forever makes it easier to work through the troubles and get to the good stuff again.
Each of us has our foibles, and separately we're kind of annoying and we don't make a good first impression. Frankly, there's not a great deal to recommend us. But together...together we are great. Ours is a common goal and we each bring characteristics to the marriage allow us to achieve that goal. I am really big on order and practicality. Tarzan is the laid back, funny one. He’s the one who actually likes to work to support the family. I like the cooking, cleaning, gardening kind of stuff. We balance. We really are partners. Each of us gives 100% of ourselves and gets back so much more. Definitely one of those greater than the sum of it's parts things.
I don’t tell Tarzan how glad I am to be his and how blessed I am to have him for my very own as often as he deserves to hear it. This probably sounds all pithy and corny but today is the seventh anniversary of our wedding. Seven years ago today I promised to love, honor and obey him forever. Cherish him. And I do.

This is me, saying HAPPY SEVENTH ANNIVERSARY TARZAN!

Weird Dream #22

We were at the office, it was kinda dark, and someone new came in. I knew people had been interviewed but it hadn't been mentioned to me that a girl was starting. Turned out it was Jacinta (a friend from a previous office – who I would love to work with again) and she got the desk next to mine.
Not quite sure how we got there but Jacinta and I were on a bus that was parked and talking to a bunch of college freshmen who were being transported to school. Cillian Murphy was on the bus, also Patrick Swayze. At one point my purse disappeared, I had put it down somewhere, so we (Cillian had made himself part of our group) walked through the entire bus searching. Eventually it was found under a pile of clothes and stuff in an empty seat. My wallet, from inside the purse, was missing, so we stayed on the bus when it started to move again.
Skip ahead to the university – next to a beach – where people were milling about, moving in and out of dorms and general craziness. We did a lot of walking – I agreed to take Cillian to the dentist at 11 because I had a car - and somewhere in there Cillian Murphy started holding my hand! He had a warm, smooth, strong hand. He was wearing a gold colored sweater and he smelled really good. He was the shy one though…nervous about holding my hand and when I looked at him he blushed. As it got closer to 11 we started going inside the dorms to look for my wallet. We were in the manager’s unit I guess, it had a screen door and was a lot bigger than the others. Maybe Patrick Swayze was the building manager or RA or something because the phone rang and his father answered. I said I was his room mate and the dad started telling me all kinds of things about his ambitions for the senate and presidency.
Then there’s a skip again to where we know it was Patrick Swayze that stole all the wallets – there were way more than just mine missing – but we couldn't figure where he hid them. This whole group that had been with me throughout the dream – including Jacinta and Cillian Murphy – went to Patrick's apartment. (How or when we left I know not.) Most everyone stayed in the living room but I Jacinta and I went into the bedroom to search. Patrick was in the shower so we looked quickly and discovered the closet floor wasn't quite right. The carpet could be lifted up to see another piece of carpet that had been cut to fit over a hole he had made in the floor. In the hole were all the wallets and also bunch of shoes and other useless items. We gathered it all up and went out to the living room to start passing it out and that's when I woke up.
Weird!

This is me, blogging from home - it's just not right!

Weird Dream #21

My sleep hasn't been very deep much of this week. I don't know if it's because I'm stressed about projects at work or because Tarzan is up at 5:30am or what but it makes for some really disturbing dreams right before I wake up.
Last night (early this morning) I dreamt I was at the hospital visiting one of my sisters-in-law who was having a baby. Her parents were there too. I got to hold the baby because there was some sort of complication with the mother. The baby totally did not look newborn OR like any of my relatives but it didn't seem to bother me in the dream. A nurse came in, handed me the baby, and went around the corner to the room proper and swore because "she popped a stitch." Nurse then called a code red over the intercom and we all stood around waiting for the team to arrive. The nurse talked constantly but she was very calm as she cited my SIL chances at around 70% or better. The emergency response team still hadn't shown up when the cat jumped on my stomach and woke me up. Weird right? Totally. Some of my dreams are groovy but this one not so much.
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Totally neglected to welcome the wifey and say thanks for all the comments! You're awesome.

This is me, Day 2 of NaBloPoMo

Time Is On My Side

How splendiferous (at least spell check picked that one up) to begin NaBloPoMo with a meme from my good peeps at The Back Porch.
Onesome: Time is-- your friend? ...or your enemy? It's your call, but how do you feel about "time"? Are you in need of a spare cupful? ...or are you set?

• Time is an interesting subject. Time isn't real per se, it's just a way to mark our physical existence on this planet so it can be whatever you want. Did you know a 100 hour day was once proposed? Each hour would consist of 100 minutes? And 100 seconds in each minute, etc. That's taking the metric system a bit too far in my opinion. So, time moves too fast and also too slow. Fun times pass too quickly but I'm at work for far too long. The year is passing quickly (November already people!!) but I'm dying for it to be over. So I could use more time, if I could put it toward what I choose.

Twosome: on my-- way out the door, the last thing I check is to see....... Go ahead, fill in the blank!

• Totally easy. The last thing I check is where all the cats are. Are the ones that have to stay inside, inside? Are the ones that have to go out, out? Am I going to step on a tail or squish a body in the door? It's quite the process.

Threesome: "Side--out Sports"... I just love that name. Have you seen any fun signs or slogans lately you can share with the gang?

• Not so much. I know that ads are trying to make me remember them so I will buy the product, so I actively try and NOT remember the tag line. Is that perverse? Probably. Whatevs. I liked the De Beers commercials when it was just silhouettes and the diamond. "A Diamond Is Forever" And I like Kay jewellers partially because we got our rings there, but they have a cute tag: "Every Kiss Begins With Kay..." I seem to like the diamond commercials best. Wonder what that's all about?

This is me, NaBloPoMo-ing for the first time.

Dumbfounded

I am floored. Completely. Never in the four seasons I have been watching Dancing With The Stars has my jaw actually dropped. I think I have a bruise on my big toe from it dropping on my foot. There are plenty of weeks I am disappointed in who was eliminated and other weeks when I felt the celebrity did not deserve to be voted off. But always I could figure WHY they had been. Last night I had nothing. The voters sent Sabrina home before Cameron?!?!?! What is that all about? I have not voted for her, it's true, and in not doing so you may think I contributed to the astonishment that was the results show last night. You may in part be correct. I am also part of the problem I complain about so much - people needing to vote on actual dance ability rather than personality. I admit it. I did not vote for Sabrina. I felt that she was a ringer put in because Disney owns ABC and wanted the publicity or something. (Shows how well I can play the politics game.) However EVERY one else in the whole world loves the Cheetah Girls AND Sabrina was the best dancer so I don't understand who else did not vote for her. And leaving Cameron behind? And Jane? Did you see how excited Tony was when they were saved? I thought the man was gonna back flip off the stage. It really is any one's game after last night. I hope Melanie wins it. I will be REALLY upset if through some bizarre series of events Julianne and Helio make it through so she can win back to back. Really upset. Really. Upset.
On the other hand, it was a great night for the professionals. Barry Manilow is a great guest to have on this show. His music is hip-ish and it matches so many dance styles. Cheryl and Louie's samba(?) was awesome - I swear the man's father was Gumby - and Anna and Jonathan's waltz was gorgeous.
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Oh yeah...HAPPY HALLOWEEN everybody!! I kinda forget about it with the bright sunny day and it being 75 degrees outside. And my not having any kids to make/buy costumes for. Or trick or treaters coming by the Jungle so no candy to buy - at least until tomorrow when it all goes on sale for 75% off. Check it out Miss Cheapskate! What are you dressing up as? Tarzan and I made costumes when we were in college for some dance number and we liked them so much we kept them to use again and again...well pretty much every time we have to dress up. We go as hipsters. Yeah man. Check the groove out on this shirt baby. Really groovy jeans with huge bell bottoms and floral stripes down the side. Tarzan has the paisley-est shirt you have ever seen with huge butterfly lapels. We draw ginormous sideburns on his cheeks and then he puts on the bling. Gold chains and rings. Add the shades and he's so hip it's sick. Mine is similar with a paisley shirt, animal print headband and I wear a big peace symbol. We get a lot of "OMG, I TOTALLY had jeans like that when I was younger!" comments. It's pretty fun. And way comfortable.

This is me, considering that spellcheck does not mark ginormous as unusual...

Wife Of The Year

Contrary to popular belief we do not wear just loincloths in the jungle. It would certainly cut down the wear and tear on the washing machine and dryer. And it would be SO. MUCH. EASIER. to decide in the mornings. Save me at least 20 minutes. But there's all these dress codes in offices and schools and then the weather and whatever. It's really a great loss. Tarzan looks hot in a loincloth. (I know, I know, TMI)
The point being, I found the fortitude on Saturday to attack the mountain of clothing, sheets, towels and socks - oh the socks! - that had grown to encompass the entire west side of the bedroom. It was moving along smoothly enough after the sorting exercises. Do (originally) white hand towels go in with the whites? Or with the other towels? What exactly is the protocol for jeans? When does Tarzan find time to wear so many pairs of socks?! There's only seven days in a week. It never fails, no matter how carefully I look and gather, there's always one white sock and one dark sock that don't make their respective load so I have run them through with other stuff and then they get tangled and sometimes folded into the fitted sheet and...it's a real ordeal. But after all the sorting it was a fairly easy routine. Dirty load on the dryer, dryer load in the basket, washer load in the dryer, dirty into the washer, soap, Bounce, set and they're off! Dump the clean load on the bed, pull out the wrinkly stuff to leave on the ironing board for a month, and forget about laundry for an hour. I was in the zone. I was an efficient machine. I was groovin'.
Then Tarzan came home from work (poor boy has to teach on Saturday mornings)...and the needle jumped the groove. It was *ahem* glorious but I forgot about the laundry for a little while. Rushing to get it all done before the descent of night and knowing the next day was Sunday I was not as diligent as is my usual when emptying the pockets of the pants Tarzan had worn that day. I noticed nothing amiss until I was putting the last load in the washer, pressing start on both machines and there came a horrible thumping sound from the dryer. Weird. I expected maybe a shoe or slipper had ended up in the basket? Cats do weird things. No. I wish it had been. No. I am ashamed to say it. I WASHED TARZAN'S CELL PHONE. Oh yes. I got his wallet and his keys out but I missed the cell phone. Oooops. Needless to say it was pretty soggy. It wouldn't even turn on. The good news is his SIM card was okay, but he had to go buy a new phone yesterday. Sorry honey...

This is me, the laundry expert.