Monday, March 29, 2010

Fly Me To The Moon

Here we are again, Monday night, and what's with all the questionably famous celebrities and their extremely professional dance partners? None other than Dancing With The Stars.
Oooh, the secret is out! Nicole let it slip that the producers hand out the music. We've suspected as much but never been sure; now we know who's house to cherry bomb. Excellent.
Mark should have listened to Shannen when she said she wanted to do an easier routine and do it well because it wasn't all that. I thought it was slow - especially for a jive - not a lot of energy and her feet were heavy. What are the judges talking about?
Aiden just needs to man up, what was that "you're hurting my feelings" business? His foxtrot was a good effort but he needs to smooth his movements out. I respect Edyta to the skies but I don't know if I can vote for this guy.
Have I mentioned that I want Evan to do well? I think I did. So I worry when his jive started out awkward but it relaxed well enough - it was an odd song - and he seemed to have a good time.
Niecy's foxtrot was amusing, she certainly can bring the performance. It was smooth but I think she needs to be bigger. Her steps, her arms, it all needs to get bigger.
Jake's jive - why do they ALL have to wear high water pants to dance the jive? - was high energy and very fun. He missed some steps in the middle and his knees could have been higher but it was not bad overall. Chelsey's shoes were awesome.
Buzz and his wife are adorable and Ashly is cute and all of that but he is not a dancer. I really wanted him to do well at the smooth dances but his foxtrot just didn't gel. He forgot the choreography and Ashly had to guide him around the floor. The judges are being very generous with their comments.
Nicole was right to be nervous about her music - that was not a jive-y song. But it went well considering - she could have been more definitive with her arms, some of her moves were hesitant...A 10! Are they serious? Let's just scrap the next eight weeks shall we? Whatever.
Erin totally deserves a medal for that foxtrot - to that song no less - she was really graceful and soft with it and she did a solo too. I like her.
P.S. If they need help, I'd be happy to look for Maksim's bicep. Just sayin'.
Pamela is surprising me. I would not have thought her an adaptable person but there it is. Her foxtrot was spot on and fun and she WAS the character. Who knew? Does anyone else think Damian looks like Louis' brother?
Chad just needs to relax a little and he would do really well. His foxtrot was not as bad as the judges comments would suggest. He needs to finish his movements and r-e-l-a-x.
Does anyone else want to smack Kate upside the head? To be that whiny and shallow and then to turn around and not even put forth an effort in the dance. I really feel bad for Tony. He is too nice a guy to have to dance with that every week.
Tonight must be the night the judges let them get away with everything because they are being VERY nice. To everyone.

This is me and this was not my favorite week for attitudes. Oy.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Question Of The Day

Why does canned papaya taste SO much better than fresh? Is it merely the juice that it comes packed in? Is it because I didn't have to pick out all the seeds myself? Is it because the stuff they sell in the stores is or isn't completely ripe? What's the secret?
(Okay, that's more than one question for the day.)

This is me and I can't understand it.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

RomCom Commentary

I'm flying solo this weekend because Tarzan is out of town at Youth Conference and I decided to stock up on the romantic comedies (RomCom to those in the know) that would make him gag if he were here.
And as the crushes unfolded I noticed a trend.
Enter two people who are put, put themselves or find themselves in a complex situation where they discover things about the other person. When the twist in the plot comes each finds they prefer the person they know, despite the surprises, mishaps, miscommunications and cue the happy ending.
I, at least, have frequently dismissed movies as fictitious, exaggerated and generally unrealistic, but the principle here is not as unlike life as I originally thought. Getting to really know a person - not the superficial stuff, but genuine things - is the best way to fall in love with them.
In short, time spent is affection earned. Which is something I have heard my whole life but didn't really get until now. And it's brilliant.
A guy named Spencer once wrote:
"Soul mates” are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price. …"
-Spencer W. Kimball

This is me, and lest you think I based the preceding on a small selection, let me list a few: The Proposal, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, The Wedding Planner, 50 First Dates, Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past, The Notebook, Shallow Hal and parts of others. (I did say I "stocked up.")

Friday, March 26, 2010

I Think They Should Be Included

I realize St. Patrick's Day was over a week ago, but there are still Irish themed shows on my DVR from that day and one thing I have noticed as I wade through them all; - in the discussions of music and influence especially - where are the Irish Rovers? It seems a blatant oversight that they get no mention.
They are the first group that I knew of that had a folksy, banjo-y sound - remember I was an 80's baby and it was all synthesizer, all the time when I was growing up. It was listening to The Irish Rovers that awakened an interest in my ancestry and in Ireland.
Were they omitted because they were famous only after they moved to Canada? Despite having all been born in Ireland, and immigrating merely to get wider coverage? And yet Michael Flatley gets tons of coverage, interviews and air time and he, he is from Chicago.
That's right boys and girls, the Lord Of The Dance was not born or raised anywhere near the Emerald Isle.
I guess I understand Enya receiving accolades for increasing the awareness of Irish music but what about U2? Bono gets to stick his rock and roll colored glasses in for comments quite often.
And it's not just modern artists either; The Dubliners, The Clancy Brothers and The Chieftains all got mentions and interviews if there was someone left alive or descended from one of the members.
And nothing about the The Irish Rovers. I think it's a royal gyp. I love them and I think they deserve a mention and so here is one of my favorite songs of theirs:

This is me and I feel The Irish Rovers could at least get a mention.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


How sad is it that I missed blogging the first night of the tenth season of Dancing With The Stars? If there is anything consistent in my writing it is that I put in my two cents every week, sometimes twice a week, for DWTS. This is not to say that I won't give you my two cents, in case you were worried.
I am pleased with a few of the alterations to this, the tenth, season.
For one, the change in female co-host. I hope that Brooke Burke will do a better job than Samanthan Harris did. I think I hope that. I can't decide if I'd rather Sam be a poor interviewer - which means it'll be hard for Brooke to do worse - or that Sam just read off the cue cards, and it's the producers who suck and therefore the questions this season will be just as forced and leading as in the nine past ones. Quandry.
Secondly, there are only eleven couples (only eleven, she says, which is like, he's only a millionaire) which is the smallest group since season three. I think it will be to the good.
I don't think I like the 'celebri-quarium.' Having to walk through the dance space and out the back where the viewers get to look at the back of the rest of the contestants. It's awkward. Not my favorite change.
I was not surprised that Chad Ochocinco had fast feet - he is a football player - and his hip movement in the cha-cha was very good. There's no question that Cheryl is a good teacher and plays to her student's strengths. I was a little surprised at how much her dress distracted me from the dance though. I don't know if it was the camera work or that it was an odd outfit.
Shannen Doherty was a lot more nervous than I would have expected from an actor. Her waltz (don't make me rant against the Viennese again.) was good, a little tight, but if she relaxes she could be great. Mark is hilarious - I don't know if it's on purpose - and hopefully it will help her nerves.
That was two digs at Maksim in 30 seconds - 'playing the field' and 'I asked for Tony' - but he's a good sport. And he is a hard taskmaster. Erin Andrews is super tall and she played the sexy well but there was something wrong in her knee/leg area during her cha-cha, maybe she isn't comfortable with her height?
Jake Pavelka might be hot, but he better not treat DWTS like The Bachelor. We need not the emotion bud, we need the skillz. His and Chelsey's waltz was very fast, and I don't know if that was on purpose. He needs to straighten his knees more, rise and fall, rise and fall.
Niecy Nash is very bubbly and she seems fun. She does not have any inherent talent for dancing though so Louis is going to have his work cut out for him. She needs to work on her feet, a lot, but the personality is there.
I really, REALLY want Evan Lysacek to do well. I think he's dreamy and Anna totally deserves a good partner. I liked his waltz, his elegance and I think being a skater gives him an advantage but I he messed up his feet a few times so there's room for improvement.
Why do they always give the old guys the cha-cha first? Let them do something they've done before for the first dance. I think Buzz Aldrin will be a novelty for a few weeks, but the man is 80. Good shape or not, his cha-cha was not all that. Ashly is cute and she's sweet - did you catch her counting out the steps for him in the middle? - and her costumes are great, but they're not likely to get too far.
Nicole Scherzinger is a lot less annoying and self-centered than I expected her to be. Which is good. I don't mind being wrong in that way. Her waltz was graceful and pretty but I have to agree with Len Goodman that there wasn't a lot of actual dance footwork. Derek gets a lot of accolades for his choreography so I am sure he will catch her up quickly.
Aiden Turner is awfully cute and funny and the accent doesn't hurt. I want him to do well for Edyta's sake. His cha-cha had the right steps but he needs to work on transitions and finesse. They were just steps for him, not a dance. I hope that changes.
Sadly, Kate Gosselin seems to be exactly what I expected her to be. And I feel bad for Tony because he's a nice guy. Her waltz was slow and awkward, she missed her cues and her steps were hesitant. Not the best waltz of the night.
Pamela Anderson seems younger than I remember seeing her in previous appearances. Her cha-cha was sexy and her feet were better than I expected though she did forget her choreography in the middle. She started well and the end was over the top but better than I thought it would be. I'm having a hard time matching the dancer to what I thought of Pamela Anderson.
And that was my recap of the first show of the tenth season. I haven't mentioned the judges yet because they seem to be exactly the same. Len is brutally honest, Bruno is disgusting and Carrie-Ann is constructively critical. And Tom Bergeron is awesome. That's all.

This is me and that's the start.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Cats vs Dogs

Nothing too thought provoking but jokes about dogs and cats amuse me. This is one of the ones I like the best.

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!

This is me, amused by simple things.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Doing A Jig In My Head

I am back - barely - and I am proud to say that I was part of a three person team who moved an upright grand piano out of a moving truck, down a ramp, across ten feet of sand, up a brick porch, across a threshold and into a living room - all without scratching anything, or killing anyone.
It was a moving miracle.
But that, and a large number of other things also needing to be moved, did a number on my arms, hands, shoulders, back, knees, hips, feet, and shins. Are there any parts left? If so they probably hurt too. So my celebration of the Green did not involve dancing.
Maybe next year.
I did not deny my ancestors however. I proudly displayed the colors:
Target, 2/$1.00. And doesn't my hair look really red today?

This is me, and Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody!

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

She's Outie

Because I know you would all be worried if I didn't post something, I'll be out of town until late Friday night - in The Desert - at my parents' new house and as we know, the Internet coverage there is not spectacular. Plus I expect to be exhausted and fall down asleep at 8pm.
But don't fret, I will bring pictures, I promise.

This is me, and just so you know.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Shout It Out

Shout is the greatest laundry product I have ever used. And I say this without receiving any credit from the company or any free stuff. (Though if the manufacturers WANT to send me some free Shout I certainly wouldn't say no. Have I mentioned it's awesome?)

Here's a list of things Shout has managed to get out of clothing: Wax - yes, my coat appears all better - spaghetti sauce, blood, grass, sweat, strawberries, straight up grime and grease. It really does do all that the commercials say it does. I have learned that the older the stain is the more soaking time it needs, but it will eventually come out. Which is awesome.

This is me and I love me my Shout.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Oscar's 82

It's been such a busy couple of weeks, Tarzan and I nearly forgot to watch the Academy Awards tonight. Fortunately the DVR was not so preoccupied.
Of course, the DVR is stupid and doesn't know to record the ENTIRE show and not just the pre-determined time slot, so we missed half of the Best Actor presentation, all of the Best Actress and Best Picture segments. We sat through three hours worth only to miss the climax.
I feel cheated.
But only slightly cheated since we didn't see any of the movies anyway - we will eventually, we're just not as motivated to fight crowds on the opening weekend anymore.
These are my comments on the parts of the show we did see:
Did anyone else notice how gigantic the dresses were this year?
The speeches were really heartfelt and short. Do you think they were planned that way or that the microphone people were really on the ball and just timed the cut off at a good point in the winner's speech?
Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin were not as funny as I expected them to be. Actually, most of the jokes were stiff and not funny. We laughed hard at Steve Martin slapping Alec Baldwin when they were sleeping and I thought Neil Patrick Harris' opening number was good. I forget that man can sing.
I missed them not performing the nominated songs all the way through, as has been done in years past.
Harold Wheeler! The same guy who leads the orchestra that can play anything on Dancing With The Stars was leading the music for the Academy Awards. That was a surprise and a pleasant one.
If they were looking to raise the ratings I don't think this year is going to do it, but it wasn't too boring. Pleasant enough to have on in the background while I was typing emails for my parents' new house and getting pictures of my brother's new daughter. (Photos to come of all of that I promise.)

This is me and the Academy Awards were on.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

DWTS: Season Ten

Can you believe ABC is launching the tenth season of Dancing With The Stars? One would think there couldn't be enough B-through-F list stars to fill that many seasons.
Apparently there are more than enough. Witness the newest selection - with my two-cent opinion added in for free. Aiden Turner: Star of a soap opera, fairly young, good looking and partnered with Edyta Sliwinksa. They won't win but he might make a good showing. He might also have three left feet. He'll be nice to look at while it happens.
Buzz Aldrin: Are they for real? The man has walked on the moon - does he really need to destroy all our impressions trying to dance? Ashly Costa, was Ashly DelGrosso when she danced on the show many moons ago. I don't see them lasting a long time. She's too easy going and he's kind of elderly.
Chad Ochocinco: I like me a Bengal now and then but what is with Cheryl Burke (who obviously isn't the new host for the season) and all the football athletes?
Erin Andrews: A sportscaster. I know her not at all but she's dancing with Maksim Chmerkovskiy so for her sake I hope she's good.
Evan Lysacek: He's my choice for winner at first glance. He's young, he's an athlete, he's hot and women vote. It would be nice to see Anna Trebunskaya place.
Jake Pavelka: This man is good looking and a pilot but he's a reality star - The Bachelor, natch - so I have little hope of a top three, although his partner is Chelsie Hightower and she does well as a teacher.
Kate Gosselin: I'm really annoyed that she's even considered a star and I am sad that Tony Dovolani got saddled with her. I predict a brief effort and a quick dismissal.
Nicole Scherzinger: Derek Hough sure has all the luck. Lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls? Young, hot, truly famous and likely very flexible.
Niecy Nash: Another reality TV show associate, and since DWTS is the only reality show I follow...she could be funny, she could be annoying but Louis van Amstel's her partner. I love him.
Pamela Anderson: Now here is an actual celebrity. But they have her dancing with a new guy, Damian Whitewood who could be Louis' little brother.
Shannen Doherty: Another real star though I have heard she can be touchy on set. Mark Ballas has his work cut out for him. She's tall too and he is not so much.

This is me and thank goodness for television.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Not Proverb Worthy

Have you ever had one of those days when your mind is just blank? You want to be funny, witty and interesting for the peeps who read your blog, but there isn't anything there. Your life doesn't seem to be doing anything new or be in any way different from the last six months and there's no clever way to spin it into a lively post about laundry cubes or other people's children in the supermarket. There's just nothing to write about.
I think I just had a whole month like that.
I could have posted about the Olympics but I haven't watched most of them yet. I KNOW, the suspense is killing me to find out who won the hockey gold medal...The only sport I religiously follow is figure skating but ATL is in the middle of finals and since Tarzan isn't fun to watch any sport but football with, they are all DVR'd - yes, all nine four-hour broadcasts - until she can get over here and we can enjoy it together.
I could have posted about the house, but I don't want to jinx it - especially considering the way things have been going thus far. More jinxing we do not need.
I could have posted about my new niece, except she isn't born yet. You might want to get on that E and S.
I could have posted about the candle that practically exploded and dripped wax down the right sleeve of my USC jacket but I didn't think to take pictures until after I blotted it all off, and really, it wasn't that exciting in the end.
So what does that leave us with? Housework, which I am notoriously bad at - though I did fix the dishwasher anchor screws when they fell out - and making food for Tarzan, which he eats no matter what it looks and tastes like, up to and including the biscuits that got really overdone last night.
I've heard it's an old Chinese curse "may you live in interesting times."

This is me and no curses here folks. Move along.

From Whence You Cometh