Friday, December 31, 2010

Observations Of 2010

Nearly every December I complain that I need a whole week to prepare for the coming year. Paperwork for church, birthdays, calendars to synchronize, all that stuff.
This year, in the best present ever, I got that week. It has been just fantastic. I got caught up on my sleep. I have the class, lesson and teacher lists for Primary. The hymns will be done today. All the clean up from Christmas is finished and the presents put away. I got out thank you notes out for those presents, food made for the neighbors, we have a party tonght and I am ready for our trip on Monday. It's a holiday miracle!
I even have time to share my sumary of the year.
  1. You get what you pay for. Sometimes it is worth the money to get the good stuff.
  2. Prayers are answered.
  3. Tarzan is gong to be a random, non-sequitor conversationalist forever.
  4. I really don't like to clean.
  5. Family is awesome.

This is me and it's the end of the year.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas 2010

This is me wishing a Merry Christmas to everyone!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

All Dressed Up And No Place To Go

We had a fancy schmancy dinner thing scheduled for this evening. We'd planned our week around it, despite the change in venue and time, twice and because it was at such a fancy place we had to get all dressed up:
We looked pretty good, I thought. We drove downtown to the club, paid the valet, sauntered into the lobby, up to he concierge, was directed to the third floor dining room, strolled into the elevator, out to the hostess and she didn't know a thing about the event. We checked with the other rooms and no one knew the name. We called the other location of the club, they didn't have a reservation and didn't know the name. We called all the houses and numbers we had with us and no one was there. We hung around for forty minutes and when no one we knew showed up we decided to call it a night and went home. We ate and then went to get ATL from work and BHB from the airport. It was good.
I was a little annoyed because this was the first time EVER that I managed to blow dry my hair into something decent. I'm not thinking to take out a spot in the local Aveda but it looked okay.
C'est la vie, I guess. These things happen.

This is us and we were pretty.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


A lot of years ago I bought something online and in the process also subscribed to the Joke-Of-The-Day webisite. As you might expect, every day I get a joke emailed to me. Most of the time they aren't particularly funny and many times I have considered un-subscribing, especially when I get the same joke for the third or fourth time. And just when I am about to really do it - quit the joke business - I get one that makes me laugh and I decide to put it off for another time.
Today was one of those days:

A man walks into a bar with his pet alligator. He asks the bartender,“Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes, we do!”
“Good. Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my alligator.”

This is me and I laughed.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Local Timing

The stop light at the freeway entrance just next to our house has either been hit by a vehicle recently or the sensor under the asphalt at the stop has a short circuit because when a car stops the light can either turn green right away or stay red for up to three minutes.
I've timed it.
That's a long red light at a freeway entrance. A lot of people waiting at the light just give up and go despite the light's color. But I have mastered the trick of getting it to change for me quickly every time.
I noticed that if there was more than one vehicle waiting the light seemed to not get stuck, so I experimented and discovered that if I wait where a second car would wait, the light changes.
I've gotten a few honks but every time it's a short wait and I get to move on.

This is me, and we use this entrance a lot. Lest you think I stalk traffic signals.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Hardest Part Of The Year

What does one get for a gift to give to a man who truly does not want anything?
I pride myself on being a good gift giver and I enjoy the holiday season in part because I get to shop and find presents for family and friends.
But Tarzan is so amazingly hard to shop for. He wants nothing. There's no idle "I wish I had..." throughout the year I can tack onto, quirks I can exploit into a present. He has a house, a job, food, clothes - and can only receive so many ties before it's ridiculous - his computer, buys his own games, says he hates to own books because once he's read them he's done, also says he hates the piano so there's no getting fun music for him to mess around with, no hobbies per se because he works like a dog, plays the aforementioned computer and that's it for spare time and I am out.
Out of ideas, out of surprises - because his reaction to a surprise is "what am I supposed to do with this?" - and swiftly becoming out of my mind.

This is me and I am so stumped. What do you get your husbands for Christmas?

Spiders On Drugs

It's a little bit bizarre:
But a whole lot of funny.

This is me with the first spider thing I have ever enjoyed.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Happy Thoughts

A bright spot in the hectic-ness? hectic-icity? hectic-ation? that is the holiday season. A small pat-on-the-back moment for me.
All semester long I've been helping out at Tarzan's school, with the Academic Decathlon team which means for one period a day I am at Tarzan's high school helping the team write speeches, giving them tests, quizzes, urging them to come to class, to read the book and do the work. It's not hard but it is harder than it sounds like it ought to be.
How does one teach motivation?
Yesterday, the teacher I have been helping out came back to hear these speeches. Each student has to have a speech, on a unique subject, originally written, memorized and between three and a half to four minutes long. We have been slogging through these things since before the Thanksgiving break. Some days they don't do any work though they have an entire hour of free work time every day, some days they don't bring their speech or anything to work on, sometimes they pitch fits about how they don't like their speech and want to write a new one. And some days they just don't come.
But yesterday all the stars aligned and though not all twelve of them were there, the ones that were had their speeches and gave them for the teacher to hear. As she left she said she was really impressed with the quality of their work. She had thought they would need more revisions and structure work then they seem to and that she thinks we have a shot at some medals at the competition this year.
I felt so pleased. All the struggling, the prodding, the urging, the threatening, the pleading, actually accomplished the goal.
Now if they will only give the speech they prepared and not go off-book when January comes around.

This is me and I could teach high school, if someone else came up with the lesson plans, I only had twelve kids, for one period a day and they were the highest GPAs in the place. No sweat.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Army vs Navy

Because ATL's boy.friend is in the Navy we watched the 'Civil War' football game today. It was highly entertaining and in many ways classier than most of the Saturday college games I have ever seen. Sure they turned the ball over about a dozen times but the fans come dressed in uniform rather than bikini tops and body paint that washes off in the drizzle. Also, a little more physical than I'm used to. The referees ended up in the pile quite a few times.
Army: 17
Navy: 31

This is me and Navy had the better team but Army had the warmer coats.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

December Cold

I suppose it was inevitable - we breathe the same air, sleep in the same bed, drive the same cars and use the same bathroom - but I was REALLY hoping not to get sick this time, even though Tarzan has been doing his best to spread his germs everywhere but with me.
Alas, it is not to be. The scratchy throat, the sniffling nose, the dreaded ear pops.

This is me and I can feel it coming. I do not have time for this!

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Guilty Or Innocent

It's been FOREVER since I did a meme and this is a little different from the number based ones out there. I forget who I took this from but it was off the Facebook, so thanks friend!
1: You can only say Guilty or Innocent
2: You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks! (So people reading this, if you want an explanation, comment.)
Kissed one of your Facebook friends?: Guilty
Danced on a table in a bar?: Innocent
Ever told a lie?: Guilty
Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back?: Guilty
Ever kissed someone of the same sex?: Innocent
Kissed a picture?: Guilty
Slept in until 5 PM?: Guilty
Fallen asleep at work/school?: Guilty
Held a snake?: Guilty

Been suspended from school?:Innocent
Worked at a fast food restaurant?: Guilty
Been fired from a job?: Guilty
Done something you regret?: Guilty
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?: Guilty
Kissed in the rain?: Guilty
Sat on a roof top?: Innocent
Kissed someone you shouldn't?: Guilty
Sang in the shower?: Guilty
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?: Innocent
Shaved your head?: Innocent
Slept naked?: Guilty
Had a boxing membership?: Innocent
Donated Blood?: Innocent
Eaten cheesecake?: Guilty
Still love someone you shouldn't?: Innocent
Lead someone on?: Guilty
Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?: Innocent
A total stranger treat you by paying your bus/taxi fare?: Innocent
Get so angry that you cried?: Guilty
Tried to stay away from someone for their own good?: Innocent
Thought seriously about suicide?: Innocent
Thought seriously about murder?: Innocent
How 'bout mass murder?: Innocent
Found someone with the same name as you?: Guilty
Tried illegal drugs and the like?: Innocent
Rode on a stranger's vehicle?: Innocent
Had a crush on someone you knew you couldn't have?: Guilty
Stalked someone?: Guilty
Been so drunk that you forget things that happened while you were intoxicated?: Innocent
Stolen anything?: Innocent
In love?: Guilty

This is me and I was a lot more fun at the beginning.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Not Good Odds

That makes 50% of my female kittens who can't wait for their stitches to dissolve on their own and feel the need to remove them with their teeth.

This is me and that's a lousy record.

Sunday, December 05, 2010

What's For Dinner?

Why is it so hard to think up food to feed people for dinner?
Every week I sit down with Tarzan and ATL and ask them what they want for dinner. If it was up to me, we might eat cereal a lot of nights, but that bugs Tarzan so I try to give him real food. But it is a real drag to have to come up with the ideas. Why is that?
It's not the making that annoys me - because I will literally make anything they ask for if I can find the ingredients, which is also not a problem since I love to shop and that includes grocery shop. We plan a week at a time and I search the local circulars for the best deals, it's kind of cool - for me it's the thinking up of the meals. It's not like we are picky eaters and we sure don't choose exotic and bizarre things. In fact, just as I would be fine with cereal each night, ATL would be fine with pasta and red sauce every day.
Why can I not decide we're going to eat baked potatoes, tacos and spaghetti with meatballs this week, just like we did last week? Tarzan and ATL sure don't mind. I don't mind really...I just hate to have to think it all up.
What does that mean about the next ten years?

This is me and I begin to understand my mother so much better now.

Saturday, December 04, 2010


This is always a big game - cross town rivals don't you know - and even though neither team was ranked, the game shown on the tiniest of cable stations, today was no different. Interception, no they have it back, no we do, no wait, what? Craziest game of returns and long runs and no points and random scoring drives.

This is me and that, for us, is the season.

Friday, December 03, 2010

The Story Of My Life

Always, always, always, always, ALWAYS there is something I forget. To do, to say, to get, to bring. Whatever it is I forget part of it.
There is a list of things scheduled for tomorrow, culminating with the church Christmas party and including the tree decorating for the aforementioned party and amidst it all, I forgot to make, or buy, refreshments for the kids after the tree thing.
How is that the one thing I forget?

This is me, annoyed at myself.

Thursday, December 02, 2010


Apparently, there are more than a few movies I will watch no matter where in the plot they are when I turn on the television. Add to the list the following:
  1. Gone in 60 Seconds
  2. Independence Day
  3. Groundhog Day
  4. Clueless
  5. The Devil Wears Prada
  6. Ocean's Thirteen

This is me and I'm easier than I thought.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Quite A Quote

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

This is me and I never knew what that meant when I was a kid. It seems my parents were right; when you grow up you learn stuff.

From Whence You Cometh