Saturday, August 30, 2008

Rosy Girl

I'm an aunt again!! I was a week ago, in truth, but I decided to wait for pictures because it's always better with pictures. My sister and brother-in-law - the ones who live on the Other Side Of The World - had a baby girl; little Rosy, and everyone is doing well. 8lbs 15ozs and 22in. My sister is convinced the baby will have red (curly) hair, which would be AWESOME:Because our family history has some Irish and all of us have wanted to have red hair for ourselves or for someone else. And it would be doubly awesome because Rosy and I share a name. She's way cuter than me though:

Congrats M and PIT! And little Squishy too. From all accounts he likes the "Baby."

This is me, auntie Jane.

Friday, August 29, 2008

The End Of Summer

I almost like Friday better as meme day, don't you think? Thursdays have become really full and this way it gives me time to develop deep, insightful responses to The Back Porch peeps' questions. Or not. Whatever.
::Onesome: The-- best part of the pudding? I'm teaching the youngest to leave his pudding in the 'fridge for a couple of days (much to his mother's chagrin) to allow the top to 'skim over'. He's thinking I may be right about that adding an extra taste treat to the process. Mom disagrees. What do you think?
  • Ew. I don't really like pudding - except pistachio - but definitely not when it has that skin on it. Bleah.

::Twosome: end of-- da' road? Just for the fun of it, is there a road in your area that you're pretty sure 'goes nowhere' and just ends there?

  • This is The Jungle, all roads lead to The Jungle, like they used to lead to Rome. But, out in The Desert where my parents live, there are roads that go nowhere. Pavement becomes dirt and then just fades off into scrub brush and rocks. Little bit unnerving if you aren't expecting it.
  • On another note: I really want the chance to name a new street, like my brother's in-laws got to do, and name it something like Endovda Road, or Forkina Road. Would that not be awesome?

::Threesome: Summer-- is over? Really? Just because it's Labor Day? Heck, the kids have been back in school for a week or two; the weather hasn't gotten any cooler out here; and the trees haven't even thought about turning. least where I am: how about at your place?

  • The kids here haven't been back to school yet. Starts the say after Labor Day, so there. But it's still warm and likely to be. Of course, The Frozen North where I used to live, has had their first snow already. Didn't last, but holy smokes am I glad we left there!

This is me, with a Friday meme tradition.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

How Is The Question

It was a good speech, I will concede that. He's charismatic, personable, funny. If I wasn't so bitter and cynical about the political process of getting a president, I would probably vote for him.
It was a good speech. Idealistic. Full of promise and good ideas. I would love it if America could become the country that he spoke about. The reason why it won't be is the same reason that all presidential hopefuls have; campaigning for President and being President are two different things.
It just isn't as easy as having an idea and implementing it. Bills have to be passed through Congress and passed by a majority. This means making sure enough people will vote your way. And just because they belong to your party does not mean they will vote your way. Not without some 'discussion.' Which means handouts, kick backs, bribes, favors whatever. (Have people seen movies like Mr. Smith Goes To Washington or The American President?) By the time the bill actually gets passed, it's not even recognizable as the one that we started with.
So the speeches sound pretty and passionate and idealistic, but they don't address how.
HOW are we going to institute national health care?
HOW are we going to reverse outsourcing without destroying diplomatic relations?
HOW can we guarantee a higher level of education for all children?
HOW are we going to pay for it all? When has a President ever been able to go through the budget or financial plan "line by line" and remove programs that no longer work? Do you know how many special interest groups there are tied to those programs? I know he said to forget special interests, but how can he do that? They pay for every thing and will be the ones backing people opposed to his bills in Congress. (see above)
It is a tough predicament, and I have no answer for it. The solution has to be found within the people themselves.
If Americans actually did what he called on them to do, I would have a greater hope for the next four years. And for him as President.
If we thought of ourselves as Americans first and states, colors or special interests second; if we helped out other people; if we worked hard; if we followed the laws; if we had faith; if we stop whining; if we were united, really united; if we were kind; if we were our brother's keeper; if we did all those things we would be one step closer to the kind of America he talked about. And that would be something I could get behind. So:
HOW do we motivate the public to be the kind of citizens that we want for President?

This is me, still looking.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Ode To RHM

As the last heat of summer wears on and we realize school is starting in only a few days; as we look forward to the last beach party, BBQ or fishing trip it can also be time to stop and think of those we love. Particularly one such friend as I have had for many years. More years than we would like to admit because then it would give away how old we really are. (And a lady never tells.) She is smart, practical, passionate, kind and helpful. (She'd make a heck of a boy scout!) She does a hard job all day, every day - far beyond the call of duty. Far beyond her own limits if truth be told, simply because she loves it. She's good at it. Good at the things she chose, the things that chose her the things that got foisted upon her. All of it.
She has ten things on her plate at once and worries she won't get it all done. But she does and it's good. The writing, the teaching, the gardening, the feeding, the care giving, the driving, the listening. Oh how she listens. She has always, ALWAYS, been there for me. She lets me whine and cry about my trivial life issues. She commiserates with me when "our boys" do stupid things. We've shared a lot in the time I've known her and she stays friends with me despite it all. (!) She's a good person. And there are getting to be fewer and fewer of them in the world these days.
She is my colleague, my listening ear, my shoulder to cry on, my sister-in-arch, my friend.
Happy Birthday RHM! You're one in a million.

This is me, off with the ode.

Monday, August 25, 2008

I Lack The Usual Enthusiasm

Maybe the list was released earlier this time around. Maybe it's that I wasn't prepared to know, or write about it just yet. Or maybe it's just that I am not impressed with the celebrities who will be on Dancing With The Stars: Season Seven. Is that sad? Probably a little. But I just don't like or know ANY of them except the oldest soap opera star EVER. So I may root for Susan Lucci. She's dancing with Tony Dovolani, who's a gentleman all the way and she seems a classy lady.
Oh wait, no no no no nononono! I am going to root and vote for Cloris Leachman!! The woman is 82! And she's taking on a ballroom dance live show. Awesome. The only thing is whether I like Corky Ballas (seriously Mom and Dad Ballas?) who is apparently Mark's brother. This is certainly becoming a family affair.
***Editor's Note: Corky is Mark's father which is less desirable, actually, than being a brother. At least for me.***
This season is definitely Alec Mazo's best chance to advance to the finals. No matter what I think of Toni Braxton's music (and I'm not opposed to it per se) one can not deny she is young and hot. And so is Alec. That man can teach me anything he wants...
Brooke Burke I know nothing about. She seems to be a super model of some sort? And since she's dancing with Derek Hough - I don't dislike him, but he's not my favorite either (see above) - I'm sort of ambivalent in this department. We'll see what her personality looks like under pressure.
The last two women I am predisposed to dislike. (I know, judgemental and whatever, but we all do it. You know you do. How else is one to pick a book off the shelf without looking at the cover?) I'm probably wrong about Kim Kardashian - she might be really nice - but the show about her family does not portray any of them very well. She's dancing with Mark Ballas, so she'll go far. He's funny because he sings and makes faces while dancing and has a touch-and-go accent.
Whatever the media says about her, I don't really like Misty May-Treanor. Hopefully I will be proven wrong here as well, but I doubt it. The only sad part is that Maksim Chmerkovskiy is back this season but not likely to stay long because volleyball and ballroom dancing have little in common. At least posture wise.
That does for the ladies. Now show me some mens!
I think the boy band revivals have been done enough. Drew was awesome - not conceited - Joey was fun and only a little conceited. Lance Bass? There is no indication the man has any rhythm. And the "chemistry" the judges want to see? Not likely, considering Lance plays for the other team. He will be dancing with Lacey Schwimmer who is new to the show and about who I have heard nothing. More to come on my opinion.
I really want to like Rocco DiSpirito. He's young, cute, and he cooks. What's not to like? He's dancing with Karina Smirnoff who does not take any crap. Wonder if she's just hungry?
Maurice Green is an athlete. Or he was when he won two gold medals, like eight years ago. I hope he's still the fastest man in the world because I love Cheryl Burke and I really want them to do well just to stick it to Cody Linley and Julianne Hough. Come on people. Why don't you just call it the Julianne show and be done with it? Cody is on some 'tween Disney show, he's young and is going to be the heartthrob for all the screaming girls who watch the show. Julianne won't even have to dress him up and they'll vote for him. So disgusted.
Ted McGinley cuts a dashing figure. I just hope he and his new-comer partner, Inna Brayer, can figure out when to risk it and when to play it safe. People should watch previous seasons to judge the ebbs and flows of the show to know when to try something funky and when to not.
One has to give Edyta Sliwinska points for stick-to-it-ive-ness. Seven seasons of this show. So close to a trophy last time but ousted by the figure skater. Tough call I know, but still. The woman deserves a trophy already so she and Alec can go off and finally get married for crying out loud! So I hope that Jeffery Ross is more like Jason Taylor and less like Adam Corolla.
Finally, but hopefully not out quick is Warren Sapp, dancing with Kym Johnson who also gets the short end of the stick more than her fair share if one were to ask me which the producers of this show never do. Obvi. He's a football man, so he's fit but he's a defensive tackler and those boys need to be tough. He'll be able to lift her with no troubles, but can he heel lead?

This is me, with the latest list.

Friday, August 22, 2008

You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

They're back! Nice of The Back Porch peeps to let me know they were going on vacation last week... It's not like I wait around just hoping they will put up a meme so I don't have to think of a post idea or anything. Really. I don't.
::Onesome: You find out-- all sorts of interesting stuff here on the net. How's about serving up a factoid or site link you've found lately that you are pretty sure no one but you found interesting...
  • I always look up facts about my favorite stars, be they stage or screen. For example, Stephanie J. Block is in rehearsals for a new show set to open next month here in The Jungle and I just happen to have tickets to go and see it. See her live!! Ack! So excited.

::Twosome: who your-- information sources are can be interesting: who/what are you looking to for information this political season?

  • I don't trust anything I read really. It's sad that I should be so jaded at such a young age but there you have it. I read the newspaper and I read the online news blurbs but really, they're all about themselves. What's happened to honest journalism? Reporting the news? It's all commercialism. And it's worse for the presidential race. Gadzooks. The elephant is ahead in the polls, no the donkey, no the elephant, no wait, someone's kissing someone's wife and that's it folks. Move along, nothing to see here. Who tells me what kind of presidents these will be? I think I'm voting green this year.

::Threesome: Friends are-- the people who bail you out when you need it? ...or maybe they're the ones waiting in line after you to use the phone looking for bail saying, "Man, that was fun!"? Just wonderin'...

  • A good friend of mine said this once when we were in college and I really like it. "Friends help you move. Good friends help you move bodies."

This is me, with a small but excellent set of friends.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Maybe For The Last Time

In what will come as no surprise to most of you, we saw Wicked last night. It was just about the time we have seen the show every year for the last four years. One might think that we would know it backwards and forwards and inside out by now, and this is true. That does not in any way diminish the joy if seeing it over and over and over. And over and over. The cast had changed again, well the principles at least, and we were overjoyed to see Derrick Williams back as Fiyero. He had been with the touring company when the show first came through and compared to the actors that have followed we think he's the best. (It was a surprise at how different he was from what we remembered though. His voice was higher? Different register or something.)
Erin Mackey starred as Glinda and I really think she did well. She didn't overdo the comedic attitude and I noticed that as the show opens, she isn't completely happy that the wicked witch is dead, which I feel shows a lot about her understanding of the character. I really enjoyed her performance.
Teal Wicks was on the playbill as the lead, Elphaba, but when we got to our seats the little insert fell out that said Marcie Dodd would be playing the role that night. Having never seen Teal, I know not how good she would have been, but I thought that Marcie did an admirable job. I suppose it was on purpose, but I never like when performers or directors add in notes to songs, that weren't there previously. I really enjoyed "The Wizard and I," and Marcie's "Defying Gravity" was really, really well done. I did not get into her "No Good Deed" though which was a shame since the previous number "As Long As You're Mine" was right on. So, win some and lose some I guess.
John Rubinstein was satisfactory as the wizard. Nothing to write home about. I have been spoiled by David Garrison I suppose.
Sad to say, the one performance that really turned me off was that of JoAnne Worley as Madame Morrible. I did not like her interpretation. Not at all. It seemed very trailer park. Her speech was harsh and it didn't sound like she could sing very well. Not my cup of tea.
Briana Yacavone did a very sweet job of Nessarose. Just the right line between innocent and dictator. It worked well, and her one song was lovely.
Michael Drolet, as Boq, was better than some. He tended away from the shrill and laughable and more towards the amusing and sympathetic. Which I appreciate. So very much.
One thing I found amusing in this performance, Glinda was taller than Elphaba. That has never happened before and it made for an interesting dynamic. Nothing obvious, but it was different to see the big, dramatic figure be smaller than the lighter, comedic one.
Once again, three hours well spent. Love the show, always. The sad news is that it's leaving in September, so I may not see it again here at home. Or ever again, depending on tours and stuff. I really, REALLY, REALLY hope they make a movie and soon so that it can have the original people in it. Or, just the best people. I could help with that cast list, oh yes I could.

This is me, back from the greatest show on earth.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

All Good Things

Well, the good news is my parents have a house now. A house to rent. A house to rent that allows horses and cats. Also it means my siblings will be going home in time for the school year to start. Good, good, all good. The not so favorable part is that we have to get up at 4am on Thursday to get ready, load the car and be on the road for the two hour drive to be there to help unload the storage unit of all the stuff that didn't fit in my car - and the furniture too - when it opens at 7am. Not a good thing for Jane. Jane does not like the early morning. And Jane does not like to do things alone. Oh sure, she does and has and will do so again but she doesn't like it. Some married chicks I know are all too happy to leave the husband at home and go hang with family or friends or even by themselves. I like Tarzan and we spend so little time together because of work and church and whatever that when I have some time I like to spend it with him. But Tarzan has developed bursitis in his elbows. (What cracks me up is he doesn't know how he did it and I am almost positive it comes from the way he sits at the computer but he swears that's not it. Well look what the Mayo clinic had to say:
  • Elbow. This type of bursitis is associated with actions requiring you to repeatedly bend and extend your elbow. You may get such an inflammation by pushing a vacuum cleaner back and forth. Throwing a baseball and swinging a tennis racket or a golf club are other examples of repeated physical activities that may lead to bursitis or tendinitis of the elbow or shoulder. Simple repeated leaning on your elbows could lead to bursitis over the tip of your elbow.
Ha. Jane is not such a silly girl after all.) But it means lifting heavy boxes will not do his elbows any good. And if he isn't lifting then he's just taking space up space in the car and we need that space. Oh boy do we. I hope we can pack with a little more efficiency than the trip here which was a little rushed but still, it's a lot of stuff. Plus four full grown people. So he stays home to put more stress on his elbows and I get to move refrigerators and books and televisions. (Whine, whine, poor Jane, pity me.) Maybe I should think about my parents who are older and less resilient having to move just as much and deal with jobs and whatever too. Plus the dealings with the new landlady who also lives on the property. Oh yes. There's a little more stress going on over there.

This is me, dealing with the early.

Sunday, August 17, 2008


After whining like a little girl on Tuesday - and really, all week long, with the panic and the moaning and the crying about ALL THE STUFF WE HAVE TO DO - Tarzan finally sat me down yesterday and said
"Let. It. Go."
And suddenly it was okay. Not that we didn't still have a lot to do, but we (well, I) ceased to stress about it. My siblings are still staying with us but I don't have to do all the work. They are 13, 17 and 19. They can do their own laundry and help with dishes and whatever. Just because I am the oldest sister doesn't mean they are still little kids.
So I left them with some chores and buckled down to do some work. The cub scout flyers got made, printed, folded and they got mailed. My youngest brother helped with that too. The things for the thing that I can't talk about got done. My lesson for church turned out to be not as involved as I was worried that it would be. Proposition 8 is ready for Phase I so I feel better about that too. The roadshow still needs to have the dialogue fleshed out but we chose the music and Tarzan helped me make up a rehearsal schedule so there's a handle for that too. (Do you want to know what my issue is with things like this? If people are asked to help they will, but they don't necessarily want to. I want people who want to be there so they will do a good job. How does one find the people who actually want to participate?) Then, yesterday afternoon, he took us all out to a polo match - thinking my siblings would like it since they ride horses and just to get out of the house and away from the stacks of things to do. And you know? It was really nice. Polo is a great sport to watch and the ponies were pretty too. Then he took us out for ice cream and when doesn't a Chocolate Curve Ball make everything all better? It turned out to be a really good day.
I'm just really thankful for Tarzan today. For his willingness to take in my siblings AND the cats. For letting me whine and then solving the problems. For taking us out so I don't have to cook. For loving me, even when I am neurotic.

This is me, thankful for the Tarzan.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Weird Dream #25

I was working at 'the office,' though it wasn't an office I had ever seen before and fortunately it was an architecture office when it became apparent to many people that the heating and air conditioning unit wasn't working correctly. There was a flurry of activity with people calling all around and asking questions of each other. I went to look at the monitor on the wall and it was all full of water, so I got a lot of paper towels, took the cover off and started mopping it up. Tarzan's brother, PFiddle, was also working at the office so I went to his office to see what he thought - as an electrical engineer I figured he'd have a theory - and we started making out!! (This was not anything I had considered before, but it turned out to be pretty good. Whichever girl lands him is one lucky lady.) Then we weren't in his office anymore, but at what appeared to be Tarzan's parent's time share condo - only MUCH larger - and Tarzan walked in on us. But apparently he didn't notice what was going on because he was so excited to tell us that he got it arranged for us to go lemon haranguing. (Do I know what that is? No. No, I do not.) Apparently his parents had not been able to get anyone to come and help them in the garden and so he volunteered us as a surprise for them, which meant we had to go out immediately - which was 3am incidentally - and get it all done. Tarzan's sister, Rocketgirl was so excited about his thinking of it that she kept running into our room and mooning us while we were getting ready...I was quite okay with being woken up this morning!

This is me, awake and okay with it.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Saved By The Rocket

Just when I thought all was lost, Rocketgirl saved me! Perish the thought sweet readers, that a week should go by without a meme in it. And our prayers were answered via the lovely and talented Rocketgirl. Thusly:
::What were you doing 10 years ago?
  • Let's see, August 1998? I was almost nearing the halfway point for my architecture degree. And actually, it turned out to be one of my best years all around. I was happy, healthy, feeling "at the top of my game" if you'll pardon the expression. I found out I was not supposed to marry the guy I liked that year, and it was a good thing.
::5 years ago?
  • August 2003. Tarzan and I were coming up on three years of marriage at that point and we were finally starting to get it, I think. I had started a new job in March of that year and all was going well on the Library project. This was before the project, the office and the job all went down the toilet, which was November of 2004.
::Last year?
  • August 2007 - I had started my countdown to retirement, but only in my head, so no one knew where my new attitude had come from. I was miles deep in the final project. The one I still follow because it was ALL ME.
::What are the 5 things you want to do before the end of the year?
  1. Get the front yard plants moved to the bare patch near the mailbox in the hopes of holding the morning glories at bay.
  2. Related but different, REALLY cut back the orange tree because the branches are dragging on the ground with the fruit right now and that's not good.
  3. Ssssssh, maybe, possibly, get pregnant. If it's okay with everyone. Ssssssssh.
  4. Do that thing, for that person, who also reads the blog so I can't mention it but when it happens I will TOTALLY post pictures. It'll be awesome if it all works out. You're invited - email me on the side and I'll tell you all about it.
  5. Visit Rocketgirl in the Deep South.

This is me, with a new formed but still worthwhile meme.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

This Isn't Right

This is the first tiime since I started doing these meme things that THERE WASN'T ONE ON A THURSDAY. I'm not sure what to do with myself today...

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Timing Is Everything

As to why I haven't been here posting from my shiny new laptop lately (it's so pretty) they are multi-fold. So busy. I wonder how my life gets like this. I don't mean the usual day to day busy but this is really over scheduled! Seriously. We'll be going along fine enough with church and family and work and house stuff and repairs and what-all and all of a sudden we realize that there are four things set for the same day. Or six things spread over two days. How does this happen? Some months are definitely worse than others too. July was a nice month. Weather was great, activities kept to one a day. We got some stuff done around the house. It felt nice. August is shaping up to be horrendous. And it's not like any of these things are frivolous. Everything is VERY important.
Firstly, my parents moved. With very little notice. So we were out in The Desert two days in a row, moving things, lifting, searching for a place for them to move into. Which didn't happen, so my three siblings are all staying with Tarzan and me and my parents are staying with friends. We had to find places for the horses to stay and the cats are learning to deal. Except for the kittens that were abandoned by one of the mother cats that my sister has been feeding and two other cats that don't get along with the rest of the group at my parents. Got all that? Yeah, me too. Not their fault and nothing to be done about it, but very stressful. At some point we will have to take my brothers and sister back as well as all their stuff and the cats.
If that was not enough - we're still looking for a place - the campaign for Proposition 8 is starting up. Don't ask me how, but Tarzan and I have been signed up to be Zip Code Supervisors which means a lot of organization and outreach efforts and weekends spent walking the district and reporting in and I will do a better post about this issue because I support it and don't want to make light of it but holy cow, now is a tough time for me. There are three activities lined up for the kids at church and, being the president - after the deal with the bishop's wife in which he took her out and now I have to find a new presidency to back me up - it's really me supervising all of that.
There are ALSO cub activities I need to be sending out reminders for. I also have to go to said activities, and bring edible items.
THEN we have the roadshow in September which I should have gotten written during the blissful July that is merely a distant memory, but I didn't. So I have to get that done and we have to get that into rehearsals as well.
Gaaaaaaaaah! And here I am blogging instead of writing or mailing or whatever else it is I should be doing. Priorities peeps, priorities.

This is me, exhausted.
**Again, this post was days in the making and maybe I shouldn't have put it up at all. I don't know. But it's the reason why I haven't been here much.**

Friday, August 08, 2008

Leggo My Eggos

More later on why this Thursday meme is being posted on Friday instead.
::Onesome: Leggo'-- of that! Okay, is there something (sure, food works!) that shows up from time to time that you'd really like to have and someone else usually makes a grab for it? I'm thinking Christmas is coming and maybe those 'special' cookies need to be planned for...
  • Being the oldest in a house of nine children most things were shared at one point or another. There were always hands grabbing at everything. Plus the stuff that I usually have my eye on, food or not, ends up not being as cool as the stuff Tarzan picks randomly. How does he DO that?

::Twosome: my-- how time flies: Back to School sales are already over and I'm seeing Thanksgiving stuff in the stores! Whaddayathink: are you ready for Summertime to be over and done with?

  • Not so much. I have always loved summer and considering the past few days I need time to just slow wa-a-a-a-a-a-y down. Too much to do before school can start again. And one of my pet peeves is the retail world jumping six months down the road to the next holiday, event, time of year because we wouldn't buy cars or food or clothes without them shoving a reason down our throats...

::Threesome: Eggos-- and the like: do you have a frozen food you keep around just because you actually like the darned thing?

  • Are we excluding things that HAVE to be frozen, like popsicles? If so, I would have to go with egg rolls. I love to be able to pop 2 egg rolls in the microwave and call that lunch.

This is me, slowing down.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


I blog now from my shiny new laptop!! Yay! It's so pretty. So smooth. And with the wireless gateway do-hickey thing I can blog from the living room or...(scamper, scamper) from the bedroom!! OR...(scamper, scamper) the front porch!
How cool is this?
In a word: awesome.
In an aside, however, the computer I was temporarily using - one of Tarzan's old ones, which has a weird glitch in the screen but is otherwise okay - decided to take a powder this morning. So annoying. It probably still works. But it makes a horrible clicking sound when I turn it on. Two laptops in a month. Am I really blogging that much? Not likely. Send me the link to your blog because trading machines TWICE means I will likely forget a blog to two. But not again, well, not for a long looooong time after this. (Knock on wood.)
This machine is so pretty. I like it muchly.

This is me, with my new toy.

Monday, August 04, 2008

So Close

Aaaagh! So close. So very close.
My computer was going to be delivered today. I waited for it. I did. Front door was open - even though that lets a lot of heat in. I had my keys and shoes ready to run out as soon as the truck pulled up. But it didn't come. I checked the company website again and it said "delivery attempted." Odd. I check the box for a slip or something but there isn't one. So I called the delivery company. Apparently 'they' don't believe my address exists. What is that I ask you? We've been here five years, give or take. The junk mail certainly makes it through with no problem. So do the bills. Grrrr. They're gonna try again tomorrow. I need to sit outside probably - with a sun shade. Les sighs.

This is me, still waiting.

Saturday, August 02, 2008


My computer shipped should come on Monday. Woot!

This is me, anxious like I haven't been since Christmas Eve. When I was eight.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Not For The Faint Of Heart

*****Author's Note: For those of you who recoil at the word 'injection,' this post is not for you.*****
It occurred to me last night that one changes gradually.
Duh, say you.
I know. This is not an earth shattering revelation.
But I am struck by it's simplicity at the oddest of moments. For example, last night, I was trying to inject myself (with insulin) in the middle of a baseball game with only a sweater to cover my lap. I had to give up the effort after a few near misses and realizing I couldn't see if there were air bubbles in the syringe. (This is bad, by the way, what with the possibility of dying if the air gets to one's heart and all...) So I went to the restroom - missing one of the few moments of action of the night I may add - and as I completed the task I was reminded of another moment, at the beach during the ASKR #2, when I had another injection (of insulin) to perform and the difference in the locations. Say what I will about public restrooms, the ones at the baseball stadium were worlds better than the ones at the beach. There was no place to put my purse down.- the floor was wet of course, and no lid for the toilet and no shelf because who brings anything to the beach that can't go in the standing water on the grimy concrete floor? So I was holding my purse against the (less) grimy wall with my hip, the pouch under one arm and tried to draw the syringe up AND inject myself all in the dim light that passes for illumination in a beach bathroom. I was actually quite pleased with the facilities at the stadium. Clean and lit. It was marvelous.
And lest you think I have lost my mind I do remember what I was talking about earlier in this post and why. Once upon a time I would not have thought of injecting myself anywhere other than my own room with the drapes AND door closed, the cats evicted to the outdoors, the temperature a constant 76 degrees with no phone calls expected for at least the next two hours. Then and only then would I consider it. Now I'm whipping it out all over The Jungle with no real worries except getting arrested. How far have I come?

This is me, shooting up anywhere.

From Whence You Cometh