Tuesday, March 29, 2011


The rain and flowers mentioned a post or so ago got me to thinking and during a lull in the activities yesterday, my mom, my sister and I got out the wildflower books and started identifying some of the indigenous species from the back yard. It was quite exciting to open the book and actually find the plant we were looking for. The first one - the one that started the whole exercise - is this Arizona Lupine (Lupinus Arizonicus):It intrigued me because the horses wouldn't eat it - they eat EVERYthing else, including my mother's avocado tree that she started from a seed - and I hadn't seen this flower before this year. Now there are entire swaths of it along the road:After finding and identifying the purple one we got a little carried away with all the flowers in the backyard.
The Fremont Pincushion (Chaenactis Fremontii) grows in large clumps. It's reminiscent of a lawn in parts:This is the Brown-Eyed Primrose (Cammisonia Claviformis) and can be yellow or white, though we seem to only grow the white ones:In fact, most of the flowers that we get are of the yellow or white variety. Other than the aforementioned Lupine - which is brand new to us this year - this Sand Verbena (Abronia Villosa) is the only purple flower we see:We aren't exactly sure what genus and species of the Boraginaceae family this plant belongs to but it is one of the cutest little plants: Our greatest crop is the Desert Dandelion (Malcothrix Glabrata) but we think there are some Desert Marigold (Baileya Multiradiata) mixed in with them:There is a lot of this African Mustard (Malcomia Africana) around:A LOT of it. When the pod dries up and the seeds fall out they look like this:They're pretty small and an interesting color. We aren't sure if we want to spend the effort to create homemade african mustard this year or not.

This is me knowing something cool.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Via Email

This explanation of America's Economic Problem is from one of the many, many, MANY emails I get every day from my adorable mother-in-law. It's not really political. Not really news. But absolutely hilarious:
"This financial crisis is forcing state and local agencies to make some tough decisions. If things continue for much longer, there's a real risk that we may have to lay off Jose."

This is me laughing out loud. For real.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Well Paved

I was so excited to come home today and post the pictures of the blossoms on our berry vine in the back yard. We think it's a blackberry vine - we got it from Tarzan's grandfather's house, two years ago, when we were staying with him - we think so because it spent the first year growing and this year blossoming. We were really hoping for some fruit. All signs pointed to yes, especially when I thought I saw some white where the leaves and stem meet. I was all set to take my pictures, the weather was great today, good light and I was ready.
This is what I saw when I pulled into the back yard:
Guess where the blackberries are:
Oh yes, but not just buried under that, no.
No, uprooted and then tossed in with the rest of the debris from the yard.
Our neighbor, who has only the best of intentions, cleared out all the weeds and plants from our back yard. As he has done many times in the last eight years. We give him our recycling and he cleans the yard. It has been a nice arrangement.
And I suppose it is a little bit my fault for not putting up a fence, a sign, cleaning my own dang weeds.
He cut down my blackberry vines.
The rain this spring had provided a great beginning. It's sad for me that this is as far as it will go:
Here are the blossoms I was so happy to see:
Unless there's a miracle and next year we get some growth from the roots that might or might not still be in the ground and the year after THAT we might see some blossoms again, we'll never know if these really were blackberries or not.
We're going to try and sprout these twigs but I don't know how far it will get. Do vines sprout like other clippings? Does this count as a clipping?

This is me and I'm so let down.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


All the rain this spring - though annoying while driving my new car - has created some gorgeous vistas out here in The Desert. The hills are green, rather than brown, and the flowers are abundant. Yesterday was particularly lovely as it was still raining in some areas and there were streams of light coming through clouds and all that picturesque stuff. This was the sunset from the back door last night:
This is me and it's not half bad.

Monday, March 21, 2011


You know it's time to cut the toenails when you're putting on your jeans and catch one - a toenail - on the pant leg and rip it in half.

This is me and my feet.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Oh To Be A Redhead

Happy Saint Patrick's Day everybody!
It's so cliche to say this kind of snuck up on me, but it did.
I have no defense except the same as everyone else - being busy - so I refer you to one of the greatest videos EVER, posted by none other than one of the greatest sister-in-laws EVER.
It made me laugh so hard I cried.
Beaker - there are no words.
Silly though it be, I am happy to dress up for the holiday - no green beer for me thank you - especially now that I have appropriate colors to wear. My wardrobe has come a long way from the first Saint Patrick's Day at my second job where I got pinched a few times by wise guys who weren't willing to accept (admittedly dark) olive as a shade of green. It was the only thing in my closet that even resembled green.
Weird, I know.
No stripes, no buttons, nothing was green. Happily I have remedied that fact in the years since.
In the end, today I will have worn three different green outfits - not because I couldn't decide but because I had a couple of places to be and the dress was different each time.
I wore jeans and a green striped T-shirt back from my parents' house.
A really green sweater with my black skirt to the appointment with the missionaries.
And Tarzan's favorite green striped nightgown will be what I wear to bed.
No one can say I don't make the effort.

This is me with no pictures, because I never think of it until it is too late. Maybe next year.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Scrubbing Out My Brain

Things you don't ever want to hear a doctor say:
"You have the [insert anatomically correct part here] of a 15-year-old."
Followed by:
"No [insert marital relations here] for another two weeks at least."
No, not to me...TO MY MOTHER!
And I'm sitting right there in the same room.

This is me and I should have opted to stay in the waiting area.

Monday, March 14, 2011


Is it all people or just the people I know who are modest about their talents?
No, more than modest. Modest is when you smile and thank the person for the compliment and move on.
This goes way beyond that.
Tarzan played the organ for Stake Conference yesterday and I was so proud. I'm always proud when he plays for something. I hang out near him every Sunday when he's doing prelude just so I can say, "I'm with him."
But to talk to Tarzan, it wasn't anything at all and he's rather I didn't mention it or even look at him while he's playing.
"It got done and I didn't mess up," is usually the best I can get.
Is that usual from people with musical talent? (Or any talent.) Is there such a performance anxiety about playing live music that it outweighs the star power of everyone envying you?
I have had a lot of people tell me they like Tarzan's playing, or how our home must be filled with music because he's so talented and how lucky I am to have him.
It's true - I am lucky to have him - but the house is not filled with music from his hands because he claims to not like the piano and only plays at church when it's necessary.
Is there a syndrome that describes individuals who don't think what they do is awesome...or is my husband just weird?

This is me and I want to be with the band.

Friday, March 11, 2011


There's a song from an old movie where Jimmy Durante sings
"Did you ever have a feeling that you wanted to go and still have the feeling that you wanted to stay...?"
That is the story of my life right now.
Friday mornings I wake up, knowing I'm going home, and I'm so happy and excited.
At the same time there's a knot in the pit of my stomach, worried and anxious about leaving my parents and the business behind. There is so much work to do with this delivery business thing and my mom is not quite 100% recovered from surgery. We're waiting on the part for the forklift still and since I made all the arrangements I kind of want to be there when it runs again. Plus there's getting LBO to school and I missed him taking the SAT because I was at home.
But I get to go home to Tarzan, sleep in my own bed with my own pillows, do my dishes with a dishwasher - I hate washing dishes by hand - see my kittens, hang with ATL, read my books, keep my clothes in my drawers and closet. Have a choice of shoes.
The reverse happens Sunday night when I have to pack and drive out to my parents' house again. Excited to be coming back to the business, be there as events unfold, instead of hearing about it over the phone where I can't help and be part of the solution. I want to see my siblings, help the family, play with the horses - who recognize me now - and see about making some money.
But there's that nauseous feeling when I leave my house, my husband, my kittens.
When I'm in each place, I am there, fully and doing what needs to be done, it's just the transitions that cause me stress.
On the up side, I might be losing weight because eating when I feel like this makes me sick.

This is me, wishing I could clone myself.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

It Must Be Spring

If it's 34 degrees one day - frost on the car window included, no charge - and 88 degrees the next.

This is me and it makes for some tough wardrobe choices.

Sunday, March 06, 2011

This Isn't Even A Hurricane Place

How is one supposed to keep a locked, metal, anchored, tied, jury-rigged, weighted carport down in 80MPH winds? (No worries, it wasn't sheltering my new car.)
Because our method just ended with all the joints being ripped and torn off and the long metal pieces flying through the air.
We are lucky no one got beheaded.

This is me and suggestions are welcome.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Lesson Learned

The following are things I should have learned from watching hours and hours of The Food Network but am too lazy and/or too vain to have implemented.
  1. Always use a bowl three times larger than you think you are going to need. ALWAYS.
  2. Do not pay attention to the stray bits of lemon peel or celery that go flying about the room while chopping. It will innterrupt your flow and you might cut your finger.
  3. Get the cool gadget. You'll only use it once, but it makes that one job so much easier and you won't dirty 12 other dishes to accomplish the task.
  4. Have 'staff' to clean up after you and do your dishes.
This is me and I should have listened to Bobby Flay.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Adult Truths

There is nothing really personal to say - the business keeps on, with challenges and successes and all that - but it's a new month and I think a laugh is always good for a beginning. I have bolded the following truths that I find extra appropriate:
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a Sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Bad Neighborhoods" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

This is me, thanks for the laugh ATL!

From Whence You Cometh