Halloween 2012

This year, I'm going as exhausted:

This is me, HAPPY HALLOWEEN everybody!

Daily View

For the next two weeks, Stingy's (Tarzan's cousin) nanny (for the 16 year old) will be out of town, which means no one is available to walk the dog every morning.
Enter me.
I am one of these employees who can be asked to file, laminate, dice, chop, bake, dig weeds, get groceries, run an open house, return a phone call, make a reservation, cancel a reservation, online shop, show a house and now walk the dog.
(All in the same day.)
I've never walked a dog before. We've always had cats, and a cat would throw up in my shoe if I suggested a leash or taking them for a walk.
It's been interesting.

Fortunately, the dog is so starved for attention that she doesn't mind my inept attempts to keep her in line. And she's decently sized and not about to need carrying, which is a plus:

(She also doesn't like to sit still for photos. That was the best I could get.)

What kills me is the neighborhood I walk through with this dog. Stingy's house:

The house next door:

And the view from the top of the hill:

This is me and it could be worse.

Poor Thing

I almost felt sorry for the poor little telemarketer that called Aunt Richie's house today.
Of course, I almost laughed at him too, so I guess it's fair.
The phone rang and she answered - which is rare enough - then comes back to the office and says the phone call doesn't sound right, that it's 'suspicious."
Apparently the guy on the phone needed someone to be in front of the computer while talking to him because we "might have a virus."
Already I knew it was a phishing scam but I picked up the phone anyway and asked what he needed.
He directed me to look at the bottom right corner of my screen for the Windows button.
I had to interrupt at this point and tell him we didn't have Windows, but were running Mac OSX 10.6 instead.
I could hear his disappointment as he answered, "Oh? Oh. Oh, well, I guess your computer is fine then. You...probably don't have a virus."
I could well believe he cried when he hung up the phone he was so deflated.

This is me, and I almost asked if he had a protocol script for Mac OS. But I didn't.

Different Cat, Same Question

The last picture was of my cat Spike:

This is Lantern. Little bit older, little bit wiser animal.

Why does she choose to sleep in the old cracked plastic planter:

Rather than the comfy, lined bed around the corner?

This is me and I have real content coming, I promise.

Statistics

I was reading random stuff on the Internet one day and passed this trivial article.
I didn't think anything of it really - though I do try and choose the shortest line even if the people have a full cart - until I was in line at the market today.
For timing, it matters not how many or how few items a customer has in their cart if they forget their wallet in the car, send a kid out to get it, the kid doesn't come back right away, brings more items with them when they do get back and a discussion follows about which items they will actually be purchasing on this day.
Good thing I wasn't on a schedule.

This is me and it's the little things that matter.

Curses!

I was driving home from work - my first day back after three days of coughing and blowing my nose - and I was struck with a great idea for a blog post. Something thought provoking and slightly serious - as opposed to the fluffy posts of late that I have been tossing out - and important!
It was so important and it would have evolved into a fantastic online chat room/discussion sort of thing with people from all walks of life weighing in and everyone would be respectful and listen to everyone's ideas and the end would have been a modest celebration of me because I started it all with the great subject matter that I was thinking right then.

And I can't remember what it was.
I would have written it down immediately - it was that good - but I was driving and I am a law-abiding driver - at least I am now - and never text or write while my car is on. And by the time I got home it was gone from my brain.
I've been trying to get it back with recreating the scene in  my mind, actually getting back into my car to see if it would shake loose.
But no.

This is me and it was going to be legendary.

Every Time

I know, not everyone loves cats as I do, but the pictures that have become de riguer lately, sometimes known as LOLZCats, makes me laugh and I dare you to not crack a smile at this one:

This is me. I have lived it and I still think it's funny.

Today

Today is just too nice of a day to be stuck inside coughing up a lung.

This is me and my throat hurts too.

Vicious Circle

In order to get things done around the house, I need a day off of work.
To get a day off work means I'm sick.
When I'm sick I don't want to to anything around the house.
(Or anywhere)

This is me and I see a problem with this senario.

Finally Cool

When I was in 3rd grade we had these hearing/eye tests at school and the end result was I had to get glasses.
Living where we did when I was nine, it didn't occur to me to be concerned about sunglasses until I was in college and came to The Jungle. Then it became apparent that I was in need of some.
I am really nearsighted so I can't do what Tarzan does, take off his specs and wears his shades. It doesn't work well wearing a pair over my regular glasses.
I hear some of you saying, what about contacts Jane?
Well, my eyes are a weird shape - let's discuss my mouth and ears shall we? - and contacts just don't take. So, I have had to squint a lot and wear clip-on sunglasses because my eyes have changed every year of my life and our medical insurance covers one pair at a time. Oddly, Tarzan and I have always chosen everyday wear for our glasses rather than selective wear. Weirdos that we are.
Until this time around.
My prescription did not change this year and BLESS ME! I got prescription sunglasses:

( I am surprised at how well the passenger in the adjacent car came out in that shot.)
It's been cool. I can see stuff in daylight and I don't have headaches and there's enough surface area to protect my whole eye. I can withstand reflections from the car in front of me!:

This is me and it only took 27 years.

Sunday - The Highlights

The dramaz, oh the dramaz.
A few weeks ago there was a big stake meeting where our congregation was moved to another building to share with a group already there.
This was a BIG deal to some of the people in both congregations and today was our first day in the new building.
So in addition to adjusting to a new schedule, new rooms, sharing with a group that doesn't speak English and I speak nothing but, trying to find our hymnbooks - which had been packed and moved yesterday - and running around in a building with the A/C out, I ALSO had to placate women annoyed at being there, stave off a 68-year-old hysterical fit out in the courtyard and THEN referee a cat fight between two ladies who don't speak English as a first language.
It was an exhausting day.

This is me and it's hard to be in charge.

The Real Problem

While I appreciate that a large portion of the country cares very much about how to handle the undocumented immigrant population in the ways of health care, education, employment and all that - and I appreciate the focus on deporting those that are breaking the law in a violent way as opposed to just hopping the border fence - and I know there are a zillion things for the lawyers and congressmen and President to be doing in the capitol, *I* feel I would be less bitter about the whole thing if the method of applying for legal residence didn't take SO. AMAZINGLY. LONG.
*I* feel that if those who were applying for residence the way the country recommends were at the top of the list, rather than bumping those who have just shown up - and in a lot of cases don't want to even learn the language - then the country would not be so angry about "illegal aliens."
If it takes 6-8 months to apply and be granted legitimacy through this Dream Act thing and 6 YEARS the "proper" way, why the heck not do it illegally?
I ask you.
(Can I also mention this is completely a bipartisan complaint. No party has ever proved able to speed up the application process for persons following the rules.)

This is me and *I* think it would work better.

Taking Notes

I wish I could be this unconcerned and totally relaxed when I slept:

This is me and life must be fantastic as a cat.

Mundane

Should I be concerned about how excited I am over a credit card offer that will give me *instant* money off my grocery purchases rather than points to put toward plane tickets for an exotic location?

This is me; we eat more than we travel anyway right?

Ironic

One would think it would be a goal of the manufacturer/packaging agent to not make it complicated to get into the pain reliever container...

This is me and if I didn't have a headache before, I would have one now.

Ode To A Girl

This is more a tribute than an ode I would say but it's a tradition to call it an ode. And one shouldn't mess with tradition.
This ode is for Tarzan's sister, Rocketgirl, whose birthday is the day after mine. She is a lovely person, so talented and funny. And so very devoted to doing what she should be doing, even if she doesn't want to.
That is one of the traits I admire most about her. She does what is right and what is kind and what is truly important. Even if it isn't convenient for her and her place in life. I need to cultivate that skill more.
Thanks for the example Rocketgirl! I love you.

This is me wishing a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! to my first sister-in-law.

Plus Six

It is that time of year again, if you can believe it, because I sure can't.
My birthday.
At dinner, Tarzan asked me what my birthday means to me and I had to think...One year closer to renewing my driver's license I guess. It's not like I have goals to achieve by reaching a certain age anymore. I can vote, buy cigarettes, drink and rent a car. I've hit all the milestones.
Taking stock of the last year, in no particular order, let's see what went down:

• I was called to be Relief Society President in our congregation.
• I got an iPhone! Now I can't imagine living without it
• Saw my baby brother graduate from high school, enter college and now he doesn't call me back because he's so grown up.
• Tarzan and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary.
• And went to the Rockies for Thanksgiving because Tarzan's parents will be out of the country for this year's celebration.
• Celebrated 5 years of this here blogging thing
• Was part of the entourage to watch the Endeavour shuttle being moved to it's new home.
• Saw BHB and Seth through engagement and wedding and into bliss
• Helped Tarzan coach his Academic Decathlon team to three medals and a "most improved" certificate.
• Took a hiatus from blogging while the world went insane and then came back with a vengeance.
• Saw Wicked for the zillionth time and loved it just as much as the first.
• Built a hay shed in the Desert
• Redid the front yard
• Took some mini-vacations with Tarzan including the Best Family Reunion EVER and a train ride home.

This is me and I am amused at how many people think I'm still in my 20's. That's a nice compliment every time it comes out.

No Promises

One other thing that bothers me about Fall; the volatility of the temperature.
65 degrees in the morning and I decide it's a good day to have pie for dinner.
By the time church is over, it's 92 degrees outside and the concept of turning on the stove makes me ill.
But I made the mistake of suggesting the pie idea to ATL and Tarzan and they are both high on the imagining. (We haven't made pie since it was cool enough to turn the stove on last April.)
So what am I to do about that?

This is me; we had pie and I had heat exhaustion. Good times.

Endeavour

This will no doubt reveal our living location - if you didn't already know where the Jungle actually is - but Tarzan thinks it's worth it:

The space shuttle Endeavour travelled through town today on it's way to the museum up the street and we went to view the maneuver:

I was interested but no one I saw today had the attitude of Tarzan. He was like a kid, he was so excited:

He lectured on the street corner, a la Aristotle, as we were waiting for the shuttle to trundle on down. (This thing was not fast, in any sense of the word.) Tarzan talked about the thrusters versus the engines, the tiles, the nose, the advent of the name, the size, the weight, the journeys, the history, and to anyone who would listen. There were a lot of people to hear him:

As "luck" would have it, the Academic Decathlon theme for this year is the space race, so we offered to take the team with us to see it, though only one was willing to go out in public with his teachers:

I did not catch the fever until the shuttle actually started rolling by. The left wing went right over our heads and it was as totally awesome as it sounds like it would be:

This is me and it was really cool.

What Have You Been Reading?

I'm looking for something to read these days.
I spend a lot of time at open houses and inspections and things where my presence is required but not my attention.
Thusly, I have been speeding through books at a much faster rate than usual.
I just finished Peony In Love and Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, both by Lisa See.
I've also read Wuthering Heights for the first time ever - don't judge - and a large number of James Patterson, as mentioned previously.
What I need are options, recommendations.
I will admit to preferring fiction, or historical fiction, to history or documentary type books. I also like long books, or series of books. I dislike getting into a book, becoming invested in the characters and then having it end. Silly, because all books end, but I like a longer journey.
Let me know some of your favorites.

This is me and what would you suggest?

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Sunshine!

Very mathematical date this year: 10/11/12

This is me wishing my first born niece a very happy birthday!

Seasons Come, Seasons Go

I love Fall.
My birthday.
Our anniversary.
Halloween.
Thanksgiving.
General Conference.
Football.
Warm days and crisp evenings.
If we're lucky it rains and washes the last of the sticky heat from summer all away.
But Fall also bugs me sometimes.
Why does it seem like only last week the sun stayed up until 8:30 and now it's going down at 6?
We haven't even hit Daylight Savings Time yet.
I don't suffer adversely from the decrease of sunlight, as those with Vitamin D deficiencies do, but people in traffic get really cranky once it gets dark out. And it's a different sort of dark from summer dark. October & November have a harder and colder dark than June & July do.
Maybe it's timing, or temperature, or the fact that there are a zillion things I need to do before Christmas, which is in only 10-1/2 weeks.
Or maybe their really is "something" in the air this time of year.
Whatever it is, it makes me want to go to bed with a book once 5:30 rolls around every day.

This is me and almost overnight, it's Fall.

I Don't Understand

Explain this one to me, smart Internet friends.
I get road rage. I do. I know how it is to sit behind a moron who won't move, even though the light has been green for a minute and a half already, or behind someone trying to turn left, even when the sign says "No Left Turn." So I understand how tempers flare and red lights are run and swerves get more sudden and dangerous.
And the longer the commute, the worse it can be.
So tonight. I'm driving home from work. Just as disgruntled as the next car. I have learned that - contrary to common sense - it is actually faster to go through the residential neighborhoods than to take the freeway, so I'm in a long line of cars waiting for the blessed green left turn signal to come on and a guy from the opposite direction stops in the middle of the block to turn left, across traffic and into his parking garage. He presses the button and, sure enough, a gate in the apartment building five cars up from me opens. But the light turns and no one leaves even a smidgen of space between them and the car in front.
Having driven this route every day for a year plus I know how long the green arrow will last so I don't sweat it. I'm not making this light, so I pause to let the guy go across my lane and into his apartment. He doesn't look like he believes the opportunity, and I can't blame him, so I gesture across my windshield that he can go.
He sticks his hand out his window, flips me the middle finger and doesn't go. I am not sure what that's all about, so I wait and gesture again; he can go.
He gives me the dirtiest look and then revs the motor and screeches left and into the garage.
What was that all about? Was I inadvertently being rude?


This is me and that was weird.

High School Revisited

So, all these years I have been using Facebook for games and checking out photos posted by family. Sometimes I comment on thought provoking status-es from friends. I have searched for and found friends from high school, or grade school, always with half excitement of catching up and half trepidation that we won't have anything to talk about.
Inevitably we "friend" each other and maybe a brief message or two pass and then we cease to communicate ever again. They have lives, I have a life, we don't have much in common anymore except the few years at the same school.
It's not like I was an uber-popular thing anyway. There aren't THAT many for me to find.
I never parted from a boyfriend in anger, so there's no angst to meet them online again and most of them are married, I'm married, we're all happy, so no dramas or anything.
Again, not like I had a string to leave behind in any case.
In short, I've seen no need for FB. In fact, I stopped even logging in for about six months this year because there was no reason.
But recently, I received a friend request from a guy I went to high school with. Yes, we dated for a while and he was my first kiss, but neither of those are the reasons we got in touch and apparently can write miles of messages to each other. He is a really nice guy. Still a really nice guy. He had dreams of writing music when we were younger and he's actually gone on to do it - all without getting a big head about it. He loves musicals and get this - 'Wicked' is his favorite Broadway show too! He also likes 'Jekyll & Hyde' which makes him my best friend ever. (Tarzan is a doll and has many good qualities but he thinks musicals are dumb.)
For once I really am able to pick up where we left off, like the intervening 18 years don't matter. It's nice to have friends like that.

This is me and some things really are as good as I remember them.

General Conference 2012

Ah, General Conference, how I love thee. Let me count the ways...
I can get up at 8:30am and have time to get dressed, eat my breakfast and brush my hair instead of my usual Sunday alarm time of 5:30am, wherein I hit the snooze for 30 minutes, shower, dress and run out the door, sometimes with my hair brushed and sometimes not, sometimes with breakfast and sometimes not, to make my early morning meetings.
I don't have to sing a solo because no one else in sacament meeting sings loud enough to be heard. I get to hear the Mormon Tabernacle Choir instead.
No one runs screaming through the room, leaves early, whines, or snipes at their neighbor. Just me and Tarzan, quiet and peaceful.
I don't have to prepare and teach the lesson. I get to hear straight from the Prophet and Apostles. It's like they're in my living room just to speak to me. And I can rewind if necessary and hear a really good part again.

This is me and isn't modern technology wonderful?

A New Car!

When Tarzan got home from work today, we went to look at cars.
There have been some really interesting deals in the newspaper lately and it's been six years for him in the Kia.
We went first to a Toyota dealership with an ad in hand, that just seemed too good to be true.
Turns out, it was. Apparently, a retraction was in the works. A decimal point had been moved two places to the left and so they wouldn't let us lease a car for $47.99 down and $100 a month for three years.
Go figure.
So that wasn't the place. But Honda had a better deal and Tarzan liked the feel.
He's very tall, with long legs, and most cars have him squished. The Accord did not. It also has a lot of nifty features; the tire pressure sensor, the valet key, the eco button, seat adjustment memory so he and I can switch back and forth easier.

So we got it:

Of course, for the moment we have three cars in our very little backyard:

Which is going to make parking an challenge.

This is me; does anyone want a fairly nice Kia Spectra?

Election Coverage

In my conversion to NPR I have heard this slogan frequently; "No Rant, No Slant?"
I'm inclined to grant them the first. They tend to have logical discussions and interviews, taking turns, no screaming. The hosts do not go off the deep end, encouraging verbal battles and dissent among the guests. In fact, the guests are handled very well by the interviewers.
I can't give them the second part though. There is CLEARLY a bias in the pieces done by NPR. And the types of guests brought on and the angle the questions take.
One of the reasons Tarzan and I like to watch The Daily Show so much is Jon Stewart highlights faults on both sides of the political stage. The writers notice the hypocrisy and silliness and stupidity on all sides.
I'm a big one for fairness and real equality, not media hype and sensationalism, so I like to see good and bad noted for all parties.
NPR does not drift down the middle as much as I would expect a station with "no slant" to do. And as the election gets closer, the coverage gets more intense and much more frequent. I am so annoyed listening every day to a reiteration of the story that was done before, with no alternate ending and not even new guests sometimes.
As a friend of mine says; blargh.

This is me and if I vote tomorrow can I stop hearing about it?

Scheduling

Why does everything get planned for the same day in a month?
There are four Saturdays in October this year. Even giving one up for General Conference, there are three remaining. Why is EVERYTHING this month being set up for the 20th? And at the same time of day too...

This is me and much as I would love it, I can't be in three places at once.

Two In One

Over the summer I managed to see the dentist for a check up and it was an uneventful experience, no cavities, until the polishing.
I've always been amused at the number of pieces of equipment the dentist tries to get in a person's mouth at one time.
She was polishing with the cleaning stuff on one side and the suction thing was in one corner and the water in the other and apparently there was a problem with the water supply because it sprayed everywhere.
My mouth yes, but also my face, all over my glasses and into my hair and down onto my shirt and dribbling down my neck and off the back of the chair.
It wasn't until it splashed the dentist's goggles that she noticed though, and then it was apologies all over the place as she got the technician to mop it all up.
A shower AND a check up, all in one.

This is me and if I'd known, I'd have brought my shampoo.

BHB Got Married

I suppose it wasn't as quick a courtship as others I have heard of but BHB got engaged in March and married in August.
It was a whirlwind of activities, as are all weddings. Our mother made BHB's wedding dress:

That required trips in and out of town for fittings and whatnot. The end result was worth it I think.
We bought the bridesmaid dresses because there were a lot of us:

And really, who looks at us anyway?

The weekend was lovely. A thousand degrees outside, but lovely. Seth is a doll and his family is wonderful. They really tried to include all of us into everything. We had dinners together and hung out together. I think the mothers were almost distracted from becoming friends by the wedding.

Seth is the only one in his family to be a member of the LDS church, so though he and BHB were sealed for time and all eternity in the temple in their city, there was also a ring ceremony afterwards. But it wasn't an us versus them kind of deal. It was well done. The dude who talked could have cut it a little short. It was 102 and look at all those guys in their suits standing there:

But it was very lovely and they have been nothing but nauseatingly adorable before and since:

I really hope the professional photographer got some pictures of Tarzan because I did not. I am ashamed.

This is me and now she's Mrs. Seth.

Return From The Summer

The summer tried to kill me.
Almost literally.
First was the heat, and while we weren't the only ones with a heat wave this year, I can't say that makes me feel better about weeks of temperatures previously known only to cookie dough.
My previously abandoned architecture career tried to resurrect itself - and it still might not be done trying. In a horrible, zombie like way. That's a whole post unto itself. Gah!
Then BHB and Seth got married, so that was a flurry of dresses and shopping and traveling and family and pictures and new in-laws and that is another whole post in and of itself.

The index finger on my right hand has developed trigger finger, which, as we all know, is my affliction of choice. The doctor isn't free to see me until November, which means it's going to hurt a lot more than it does now before it gets better.
There's the whole Relief Society President business too, and while it doesn't seem all that time consuming I am constantly running up against things that need to be done. Like the sister in the ward who had surgery AND the one who had a baby in the same week and they all needed meals and my second counselor moved out of the state with a week's notice because her husband got a job transfer.
I had to speak in church the Sunday after the wedding.
RHM came to spend a long weekend in August and we see her so seldom we tried to cram a lot into those four days.
Tarzan's parents came the next weekend for a few days on their way to teach English in a foreign land for a year. There were even more activities and family time and random legalities necessary before they left.
The Academic Decathlon team met twice a week this summer as well, to get a head start on the information for the year and though I don't have to go, it eases Tarzan's anxiety about corralling 15 +/- teenagers if I come along. Apparently they behave better when I am there. Something about the possibility of cookies, but if that's their good behavior I am a little scared about what they're like on days when I'm not there.

And after I stop apologizing, because I vowed to never apologize for being busy, I am amazed at how fast the time went. I don't remember living September at all.
I'm sure it was more of the same.
Nevertheless, I am making the blog a priority, if only to remind myself of all the stuff we do and plan a post a day at least until the end of the year.

This is me and I have never done that before. Two whole months with nary a post.