Or Maybe I Need An iPad Mini

As much as I love my iPhone - and I do, I like it a lot - it was not made for a left handed person. I had to organize all the icons the other way on the home screen because I kept hitting Twitter when I wanted Messages and texting one handed is just so irritating. I can't shift or add smileys or insert numbers...
I know - then use two hands Jane! - but when walking or sitting at an open house or trying to surreptitiously get a message out when in the middle of something else...
Plus with my trigger finger acting up I can't bend part of my hand too easily.
Maybe it's just that my fingers are too short.

This is me and I need to learn to focus I guess.

In Six Weeks

About that trigger finger that has been bothering me - I finally got to see the doctor today for it.
(I know, but Dr. Z is a busy man.)
Turns out my trigger finger does not have enough of a trigger to warrant a Cortisone shot, so it's painful stretching, bending and squeezing exercises for me and my index finger with massive amounts of ibuprofen for the next six weeks.
Then we will revisit Dr. Z and see what he thinks. It might be better by then, OR after all the fun therapy, I might get a shot anyway.

This is me and my index finger.

Return From The Summer

The summer tried to kill me.
Almost literally.
First was the heat, and while we weren't the only ones with a heat wave this year, I can't say that makes me feel better about weeks of temperatures previously known only to cookie dough.
My previously abandoned architecture career tried to resurrect itself - and it still might not be done trying. In a horrible, zombie like way. That's a whole post unto itself. Gah!
Then BHB and Seth got married, so that was a flurry of dresses and shopping and traveling and family and pictures and new in-laws and that is another whole post in and of itself.

The index finger on my right hand has developed trigger finger, which, as we all know, is my affliction of choice. The doctor isn't free to see me until November, which means it's going to hurt a lot more than it does now before it gets better.
There's the whole Relief Society President business too, and while it doesn't seem all that time consuming I am constantly running up against things that need to be done. Like the sister in the ward who had surgery AND the one who had a baby in the same week and they all needed meals and my second counselor moved out of the state with a week's notice because her husband got a job transfer.
I had to speak in church the Sunday after the wedding.
RHM came to spend a long weekend in August and we see her so seldom we tried to cram a lot into those four days.
Tarzan's parents came the next weekend for a few days on their way to teach English in a foreign land for a year. There were even more activities and family time and random legalities necessary before they left.
The Academic Decathlon team met twice a week this summer as well, to get a head start on the information for the year and though I don't have to go, it eases Tarzan's anxiety about corralling 15 +/- teenagers if I come along. Apparently they behave better when I am there. Something about the possibility of cookies, but if that's their good behavior I am a little scared about what they're like on days when I'm not there.

And after I stop apologizing, because I vowed to never apologize for being busy, I am amazed at how fast the time went. I don't remember living September at all.
I'm sure it was more of the same.
Nevertheless, I am making the blog a priority, if only to remind myself of all the stuff we do and plan a post a day at least until the end of the year.

This is me and I have never done that before. Two whole months with nary a post.

Hand Education

Guess what I learned today?
I learned that the thumb, index and middle fingers of our hands are used for fine motor control but the ring and the little fingers are what provide the strength of the hand. For opening lids, shaking hands, holding books, water pitchers and turning doors handles.
How and where did I learn this?
I learned this from my favorite plastic surgeon, Dr. Z, when I went to talk to him today about the ring finger on my left hand. Which apparently has decided it was left out of the excitement with my thumb and wants some attention too.
Yes, I have developed trigger finger in an actual finger this time. Same symptoms, with the hurting and the snapping and the hurting and the swelling and did I mention the hurting? The routine is the same as well; Cortisone shots for a max of three times and then surgery if it doesn't quit acting out.
At least I know what is coming.

This is me, back on the hand circuit.

It Was A Good Casserole

Does anyone have a handy tip for peeling butternut squash? (Really, thin, tough skinned squashes of any variety)
I know about roasting them first but I was making a casserole where I needed to saute the squash and I couldn't do that with the skin on.
I was using my "new" knives - a smaller blade than usual for more control - and of course it slipped and I sliced my thumb. Not off. But enough for it to bleed profusely. After the usual pressure and cold water and application of a band-aid I was okay.
Mostly.
Turns out one uses one's thumb a large number of times throughout the day. Putting on one's clothes for example. I can't pull up my pants or put on my socks without a lot of maneuvering. Shoes hurt a lot. Keys and doorknobs present a difficulty.
Oy.

This is me and I did it again.

Plus Five

Gah, now I sound old even in the fake terms I use to describe it on this blog. Having to explain to a 10-year old I was "two times fifteen plus five" didn't improve my mood about it either.
I begin to see why adults say birthdays don't matter. When I was younger I thought they were being modest or dwelling too much on the age thing. It's more a matter of time. Who has enough to spare? I was running around all day with errands and getting stuff ready for church tomorrow and returning mail to and collecting mail from neighbors since our postman can't seem to get it right. I nearly forgot what day it was. Besides, I'll always be 24 in my head.
Still it can be a good time to reflect on one's life and accomplishments.
These are the highlights of my last twelve months:

• Opened a business with my parents. THAT's been an adventure.


• Learned to drive a fork lift.


• Celebrated 10 YEARS of marriage with a romantic get-away.


• Got my thumb cut open to fix the tendonitis. It appears to have worked. I can bend my thumb with no problems anymore AND I don't have a scar at all which I had not expected.


• Had three, 3! new nephews born into the family. There's going to be some testosterone flying when they all reach teenager-dome at the same time.


• Traded in my Saturn for a convertible!


• Improved my skills with my new knives so I don't cut my fingers anymore.


• My blackberry vines blossomed, got cut by accident and grew out again. We actually harvested some.


• Saw Celtic Thunder live in concert.


• We had our house tented for termites and didn't lose a single cat to the process.


• Learned the importance of proper attire when leaving the house.


• I found the swimsuit I thought I had lost four years ago.


• My second youngest brother left on his mission.


• Tarzan's father came for a very memorable week.


• Celebrated four years of blogging. I can't tell if I'm getting better or worse.


• Had and am still having formatting issues with the blog engine.


• I totally flaked on the second contest of the blog. Maybe we can make that up in the coming weeks. There was only two entries so they'll likely both win. I'm easy like that.


• Canned a few dozen bottles of applesauce and pie filling.


• Spent a lot of time commuting back and forth between my house and my parents' house.


• Replaced our water heater, right before it broke and flooded the laundry room.


• Almost got called to serve on the jury for a death penalty case.


• Started working for Tarzan's Aunt Richie.


• Attended QC's college graduation in Salt Lake City.


• Walked on the bottom of the ocean.


• Attended the county fair.


• Of the class I was helping teach for the Academic Decathlon team at Tarzan's high school, one of the kids won a medal at the regional competition. It was a proud moment for her, for me and for the school.

Is that a longer list than I've made for other birthdays? I forgot I did most of that in the last year. I suppose it could explain why I can't remember April.

This is me, 35.

The Stitches Are Out

(Warning: there might be TMI in this post for those who don't like discussing my wounds.)
I went to the doctor today to get the stitches in my thumb removed. It was not a difficult procedure, just odd. Shortly after the surgery Dr. Z said to come back in "about two weeks" for the stitches to come out. Two weeks from the surgery was Thanksgiving. His next available appointment was today. That's not the odd part.
Over the weekend I noticed the stitches were starting to be covered up by skin and they were itching kind of a lot. I don't know if you can see in this picture:

Dr. Z is a mellow, relaxed kind of doctor - I like that about him - but he was a little concerned about the amount of time that had passed because the stitches could get embedded in the skin and need to be cut out. As it was, he had to snip some of the dry, old, dead skin around the stitches to grasp them and clip the threads. I think my thumb looks much better even so:

It's a little tender - my thumb has been wrapped up for over a month, first in the brace, then the bandage, then band-aids - I have exercises to do to increase the mobility and range of motion and I have to go back again in a month just because he likes to see me. Not really; it's to check one more time that the trigger has not come back and I do not have pain or anything. Dr. Z is thorough too.
I'm hoping this is the end of the thumb drama.

This is me stretching my thumb muscles.

The Unveiling

Today was the big day when I got to take my big old bandage off my hand and replace it with a smaller band-aid. Which was a good thing, the old wrapping was getting kind of grimy and it was a pain to take a shower with. Have you ever tried to wash your hair with one hand? I swear the left side of my head is cleaner than the right.
Additionally, this was the first time I would get to see the wound and I was curious as to the nature of it. The doctor had explained to me how the procedure would go, indicating the incision and placement of the scar etc.
I will say only this; my doctor will never get any awards for his stitching:
This is me and it'll be a much funkier scar than I was hoping for.

Do I Trust A Man So Happy To Slice My Hand Open?

As previously mentioned I went for (minor) surgery on my right thumb yesterday.

It went well, I suppose - the doctor called it "beautiful" - but on his recommendation I chose the less severe anesthesia option which meant I was awake for it and I was not amused by the sounds I heard during the procedure. I was amused by the doctor though. Apparently he "loves" his minor surgery days and he was "a little goofy" yesterday. Lots of jokes, which maybe are meant to distract the awake and clearly nervous patient.

I am also surprised at how much it doesn't hurt. My young, bald-headed-on-purpose doctor wrote me a prescription for Vicodin - after joking "How many do you want? 20, 30, these things have street value you know" - which led me to believe I might actually need some of it. When I had my wisdom teeth removed I enjoyed the relief those lovely little white pills can give for a day or two.

Here I had my hand cut open and then stitched up and it's been a little sore and achy but nothing that I even need Tylenol for.

Of course I can't turn the car on, button my own shirt or cut my steak, as we amusingly found out last night at dinner, so I guess it's a fair trade.

I also can't tell if I will be able to bend my thumb when this all heals up because of the enormous wrappings around my hand:

The incision is on the inside of my thumb and is packed with all kinds of gauze I can't take off for three days. Dr. Z asked me to wiggle my thumb while the wound was still open but I couldn't tell if it was moving let alone locking or clicking like it had before. Why do medical professionals insist on asking questions that the patient has no answer for? He's the doctor, can't he tell if he did it right?

This is me and no, I did not look at my hand from the time they washed it off until it was wrapped up again.

The House Always Wins

Who bet that I'd have trigger finger again?
Ding ding. You win the prize!
Which is...a phone call from me when my thumb is fixed and I can dial it again. (Don't say I never gave you anything Internet peoples.)
Yes, I once again had to go back to the doctor - the one only three years older than me with the bald-on-purpose head who has seen me so often for a condition someone my age is not supposed to have this much and he might have been flirting with me not in an overt way but slightly more than usual way - and I received a Cortisone shot in my right thumb for the second time. If there's a third occurrence in the same finger/thumb I will need surgery. And frankly, that freaks me out a whole lot. I do not want him - even if he is cute for a bald doctor - to have to cut my thumb all the way to the bone and then slice the sheath that holds my tendon to my bone open.
This does not sound like a fun afternoon.
And the amusing thing is my left thumb - the one that started all the trouble - hasn't had a single episode since it was Cortisone-ed over a year ago. Who knew my mouse thumb worked harder than the hand I write with?

This is me on a much too familiar basis with the plastic surgeon.

It Didn't Tickle

Apparently, The Back Porch peeps are on vacation again - what is with that? - BUT I do have the lovely story of my visit to the doctor today with which to regal you.
*Warning: the following story mentions injections.*
You would think after watching ER for 150 years it might have occurred to me not all doctors are created equal. And that they don't do procedures exactly the same way. This did not occur to me, however, until after I almost passed out in the plastic surgeon's office this afternoon.
I kid you not.
The doctor who had seen me previously for my left trigger-finger-that-is-actually-a-thumb is out on medical leave until November - doctors get medical leave? that's so weird - so I could wait until then, or see a different guy. I chose not to wait especially because I got scolded the last time for waiting too long. Plus it is really annoying to have to put down my drink to hold the TV remote in my left hand to change the channel every time.
Their introductory approach was much the same: hello, what seems to be the trouble, when did it start, what do you do for a living, how old are you and does this hurt? (Yes, doctor, it sure does.)
Then the differences began to be apparent.
Previous doctor: Kind of old-er, grey hair, stern sort of man. He's the one who lectured me about waiting so long to come in.
Today's doctor: Young-ish, bald on purpose, friendly-let's-get-you-all-fixed-up-right-now mannerisms.

PD: Let's do a Cortisone shot, today, and you can come back in six weeks and we'll check how it's doing. You might need a second one since you waited so long to come in.
TD: My recommendation is for a Cortisone shot, which we can do today. Does that sound okay?

PD: Wash hands with soap and iodine and then dry and then spread some iodine all over your hand, please.
TD: Dug out an alcohol swab and washed my thumb. (This is when I should have clued in.)

PD: Spritz spritz with the local anesthetic, nice big needle, this may sting a bit, hold still and there you are.
TD: Let me get a thinner needle (thinner, but WAY longer) this will hurt some, hold still, open your eyes, little bit more still to do, (Me, putting my head down on my other arm as the room spins) Are you okay? Deep breaths, nice, slow, deep breaths...

PD: Band-aid. Don't do anything with it today, the numbness will wear off in a few hours, no dirty work, like gardening or litter boxes for a week. See you in six weeks.
TD: Are you okay? Deep breaths, do you want to lie down? How do you feel? (Me, apologizing profusely despite the ringing in my ears and not being able to see.) Don't apologize, it's normal, happens all the time. Hang on for a few minutes and don't get up. (Later, like 10 minutes later.) Can you stand? How do you feel? You're sure? Okay. Don't worry, it happens all the time. Come back in six weeks and we'll check it out. You're sure you're okay?

Was the weirdest thing ever. NEVER has that happened to me, and I have had a lot of injections in my life. A LOT. It hurt, like I don't remember the other one hurting. My thumb felt like it was going to explode, and the anesthetic has worn off now and it hurts worse than before the doctor saw it. I hope this is temporary, and normal - he said it would hurt a lot when the numbness wore off - and will be better tomorrow.

This is me, I really don't want to do this any more.

This Is Getting To Be A Habit

You're going to think I'm making this up, but I promise I am not.
My OTHER (that would be the right hand) thumb is now exhibiting signs of being a "trigger" finger-that-is-actually-a-thumb too. What's the deal? It's not like I do anything unusual with my thumbs than any other person out there. It's a bit of mouse moving, book holding, bottle opening, remote button pushing, phone dialing and scissors using. Not that big an exertion. But here we are again. I wonder if I just have defective fingers. Good thing I wasn't a piano player for a living.

This is me, did I mention that my doctor said I was the second youngest person with trigger finger that he's ever had to treat?

Thumb-ness

And that is why Tom Bergeron is such a good host. I like Marlee and I think she did a good job up until the recent dances where she had to dance alone. It's totally logical. I mean, she's deaf. But I also liked her determination and her attitude. She genuinely - or enough so that it fooled me which I admit is not a difficult task - was happy for other couples and there was no guile when she said good bye last night. Unlike Shannon and Derek and their newly seen attitude which greatly annoyed me. I think they are the first couple to ever begrudge another pair their scores. On live television no less. Thankfully they apologized, but really. You can't take that sort of stuff back. The Riverdance number was awesome and I have to salute the Macy's Stars of Dance series for getting all types of dancers.
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I went to the doctor yesterday for the consultation about my "trigger finger-that-is-actually-a-thumb" and with no warning whatsoever got my first injection of Cortisone. On the good side it didn't burn nearly as much as I had been told (thanks ever-so for those nightmares chellochice!); on the bad side I was totally unprepared to get a shot. I don't like getting shots. You would think, being diabetic as I am and having three injections a day for nearly 20 years would make me immune to getting stuck, but no. Actually the opposite is true. I can control the needle stick - and hence the pain - when I do it myself. I have no idea what those fly-by-night nurses are going to do when they get going. And doctors don't even give shots that often so they are obviously out of practice. I love how they apologize for it hurting. Like that's going to make me less likely to cry on their desk.
All in all it wasn't too bad. I felt it, but the anesthetic kicked in quick and the hardest part to deal with was not feeling my thumb for an hour. Weird; weirder than Novocaine at the dentist.

This is me, hoping it works.