Because It Isn't Hard Enough Already

There is a reason not all dances and dance styles are considered competition ballroom dances. Now I understand that the show wants to give the audience variety and all that, but a street dance, a slang dance if you will, really does not move to the competition floor well. And I'm not a professional in any sense of the word, but in my opinion, Dancing With The Stars ought to stick to the ballroom competition dances. They mess with those often enough for me - please see my multitude of rants against their definition of Viennese Waltz - that we don't need to add stuff that the professionals - who DO compete in real, honest to goodness ballroom dance competitions and win them - don't even know. Why make what is obviously a very taxing sport even MORE complicated?
I'm sure I don't know.
The Texas Two-Step has exactly two steps - hence the name - and so what's the point? Have you ever seen that dance done? It's usually in a bar with a bunch of cowboys who are drinking and no one has any skills. The guy just walks through it and the chick twirls around. That's the whole deal. Chuck did it exactly right but even knowing that it didn't look like much because the dance just doesn't have a lot of substance. It's not supposed to.
Melissa's Charleston looked like it was good. What's the deal with the camera aiding and abetting the opening? It's the stunts and tricks that the entertainment news was talking about the other day. Apparently the show ratings are down and they're hoping we are sucked in by the fluff. I will watch no matter what because I am a freak for dancing but I guess not everyone else is?
I don't know why I bother to Google the different dances since, as we all know, the show does whatever the heck they want with the steps, but I looked up the Bolero anyway so I would know what Natalie and Alec were supposed to be dancing. It was lovely, and lyrical - what was with the music ending so suddenly? - but I don't know that it was quite what the dance is about. Maybe I don't know anything after all.
Blah, blah, blah, the Lambada is the "forbidden dance." We know. But how nasty can it really be if it's danced alone, in pairs or in large groups? I'm just asking the tough questions people. I have to say, it's faster than I would have thought. And Karina was definitely into it but Aaron is the one getting judged and I really didn't notice him. Not until he missed the lift and dropped Karina that is.
As much as I want to like him, Mark is not a great dancer. His Two-Step was weird. His feet were out of sync and it looked odd. There were some okay parts but it made me squirm.
Please, please someone make Samantha stop asking questions.
Loved, LOVED Kelly's shoes for their Charleston. I thought it was fun and sharp. Louis' makeup was a tad overdone for me - really dark eyes - which was weird. But if it's the character of the dance they are judging on, I think this was a great one.
Oh for crying out loud. That was some gratuitous chest baring for the fans. I suppose it works, women vote and half naked Derek will make them vote but oy. As far as a street dance goes, it was that, and it was fast and no one tripped so I guess it was good. Whole lotta jokes I could have done without.
The Charleston was a "Donnie dance" but I still think he did a good job. Playing to strengths or not, he had energy and fast and good steps. I can't decide if I want Kelly's shoes or Kym's. Both really hot.
They had good lines and what was there was good but there wasn't a lot of Michael. Anna was putting forth all the effort and he was reaping the benefits.
Louie's Two-Step was not what I wanted it to be. He was too gentle and easy with it. It would have been appropriate had Chelsie also been easy with it. He needed to put his foot down with authority not just walking around. It could have been, if he'd done it like last week which was supposed to be easier than it was.
And of course, Mya would get the Lambada - does anyone else sense the dividing lines here? - but I think hers was the best of the night. They were a little shiny in the body paint area but it was rhythmic, the song was awesome, and it was all in control. That's what was missing in a lot of the dances.
*I* think most of the dancers were helped by the fact they didn't wear heels and these days practically no one knows how to WALK in heels let alone dance in them.

This is me, wondering who pays for the travelling all over the country.