*****Author's Note: For those of you who recoil at the word 'injection,' this post is not for you.*****
It occurred to me last night that one changes gradually.
Duh, say you.
I know. This is not an earth shattering revelation.
But I am struck by it's simplicity at the oddest of moments. For example, last night, I was trying to inject myself (with insulin) in the middle of a baseball game with only a sweater to cover my lap. I had to give up the effort after a few near misses and realizing I couldn't see if there were air bubbles in the syringe. (This is bad, by the way, what with the possibility of dying if the air gets to one's heart and all...) So I went to the restroom - missing one of the few moments of action of the night I may add - and as I completed the task I was reminded of another moment, at the beach during the ASKR #2, when I had another injection (of insulin) to perform and the difference in the locations. Say what I will about public restrooms, the ones at the baseball stadium were worlds better than the ones at the beach. There was no place to put my purse down.- the floor was wet of course, and no lid for the toilet and no shelf because who brings anything to the beach that can't go in the standing water on the grimy concrete floor? So I was holding my purse against the (less) grimy wall with my hip, the pouch under one arm and tried to draw the syringe up AND inject myself all in the dim light that passes for illumination in a beach bathroom. I was actually quite pleased with the facilities at the stadium. Clean and lit. It was marvelous.
And lest you think I have lost my mind I do remember what I was talking about earlier in this post and why. Once upon a time I would not have thought of injecting myself anywhere other than my own room with the drapes AND door closed, the cats evicted to the outdoors, the temperature a constant 76 degrees with no phone calls expected for at least the next two hours. Then and only then would I consider it. Now I'm whipping it out all over The Jungle with no real worries except getting arrested. How far have I come?
This is me, shooting up anywhere.
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1 comment:
I am too excited for you!! You amaze me - you are my hero. I remember the first time I threw up in the middle of the night in college, I cleaned myself and got back in bed, and felt like a grownup, because I didn't need my mommy. See, same thing!! ;)
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