Wife Of The Year

Contrary to popular belief we do not wear just loincloths in the jungle. It would certainly cut down the wear and tear on the washing machine and dryer. And it would be SO. MUCH. EASIER. to decide in the mornings. Save me at least 20 minutes. But there's all these dress codes in offices and schools and then the weather and whatever. It's really a great loss. Tarzan looks hot in a loincloth. (I know, I know, TMI)
The point being, I found the fortitude on Saturday to attack the mountain of clothing, sheets, towels and socks - oh the socks! - that had grown to encompass the entire west side of the bedroom. It was moving along smoothly enough after the sorting exercises. Do (originally) white hand towels go in with the whites? Or with the other towels? What exactly is the protocol for jeans? When does Tarzan find time to wear so many pairs of socks?! There's only seven days in a week. It never fails, no matter how carefully I look and gather, there's always one white sock and one dark sock that don't make their respective load so I have run them through with other stuff and then they get tangled and sometimes folded into the fitted sheet and...it's a real ordeal. But after all the sorting it was a fairly easy routine. Dirty load on the dryer, dryer load in the basket, washer load in the dryer, dirty into the washer, soap, Bounce, set and they're off! Dump the clean load on the bed, pull out the wrinkly stuff to leave on the ironing board for a month, and forget about laundry for an hour. I was in the zone. I was an efficient machine. I was groovin'.
Then Tarzan came home from work (poor boy has to teach on Saturday mornings)...and the needle jumped the groove. It was *ahem* glorious but I forgot about the laundry for a little while. Rushing to get it all done before the descent of night and knowing the next day was Sunday I was not as diligent as is my usual when emptying the pockets of the pants Tarzan had worn that day. I noticed nothing amiss until I was putting the last load in the washer, pressing start on both machines and there came a horrible thumping sound from the dryer. Weird. I expected maybe a shoe or slipper had ended up in the basket? Cats do weird things. No. I wish it had been. No. I am ashamed to say it. I WASHED TARZAN'S CELL PHONE. Oh yes. I got his wallet and his keys out but I missed the cell phone. Oooops. Needless to say it was pretty soggy. It wouldn't even turn on. The good news is his SIM card was okay, but he had to go buy a new phone yesterday. Sorry honey...

This is me, the laundry expert.