Apparently, The Back Porch peeps are on vacation again - what is with that? - BUT I do have the lovely story of my visit to the doctor today with which to regal you.
*Warning: the following story mentions injections.*
You would think after watching ER for 150 years it might have occurred to me not all doctors are created equal. And that they don't do procedures exactly the same way. This did not occur to me, however, until after I almost passed out in the plastic surgeon's office this afternoon.
I kid you not.
The doctor who had seen me previously for my left trigger-finger-that-is-actually-a-thumb is out on medical leave until November - doctors get medical leave? that's so weird - so I could wait until then, or see a different guy. I chose not to wait especially because I got scolded the last time for waiting too long. Plus it is really annoying to have to put down my drink to hold the TV remote in my left hand to change the channel every time.
Their introductory approach was much the same: hello, what seems to be the trouble, when did it start, what do you do for a living, how old are you and does this hurt? (Yes, doctor, it sure does.)
Then the differences began to be apparent.
Previous doctor: Kind of old-er, grey hair, stern sort of man. He's the one who lectured me about waiting so long to come in.
Today's doctor: Young-ish, bald on purpose, friendly-let's-get-you-all-fixed-up-right-now mannerisms.
PD: Let's do a Cortisone shot, today, and you can come back in six weeks and we'll check how it's doing. You might need a second one since you waited so long to come in.
TD: My recommendation is for a Cortisone shot, which we can do today. Does that sound okay?
PD: Wash hands with soap and iodine and then dry and then spread some iodine all over your hand, please.
TD: Dug out an alcohol swab and washed my thumb. (This is when I should have clued in.)
PD: Spritz spritz with the local anesthetic, nice big needle, this may sting a bit, hold still and there you are.
TD: Let me get a thinner needle (thinner, but WAY longer) this will hurt some, hold still, open your eyes, little bit more still to do, (Me, putting my head down on my other arm as the room spins) Are you okay? Deep breaths, nice, slow, deep breaths...
PD: Band-aid. Don't do anything with it today, the numbness will wear off in a few hours, no dirty work, like gardening or litter boxes for a week. See you in six weeks.
TD: Are you okay? Deep breaths, do you want to lie down? How do you feel? (Me, apologizing profusely despite the ringing in my ears and not being able to see.) Don't apologize, it's normal, happens all the time. Hang on for a few minutes and don't get up. (Later, like 10 minutes later.) Can you stand? How do you feel? You're sure? Okay. Don't worry, it happens all the time. Come back in six weeks and we'll check it out. You're sure you're okay?
Was the weirdest thing ever. NEVER has that happened to me, and I have had a lot of injections in my life. A LOT. It hurt, like I don't remember the other one hurting. My thumb felt like it was going to explode, and the anesthetic has worn off now and it hurts worse than before the doctor saw it. I hope this is temporary, and normal - he said it would hurt a lot when the numbness wore off - and will be better tomorrow.
This is me, I really don't want to do this any more.