Kitty Sitting Places

Cats sure pick the weirdest places to relax. I get that they don't really care about Tarzan's suit, all dry cleaned and ready to wear, or about the fact, I had been sitting in that exact spot and got up merely to use the facilities. Those are irritating but make a sort of sense, if I were a cat. Some of the place they choose to lay down certainly do not make that much sense, and even go so far as to be completely opposite of what you would think a cat would be looking for as a napping location.
Some of my favorites:

• My chest, nose to nose with me, totally sleeping. I know this because when I wake up the ears flick, the breathing pattern changes, the eye cracks and I get the look of "Really? You have to move now?"
• My chest, slightly to one side so I CAN still breathe, but I get an excellent view of the hindquarters. And the little twitch of the tail that tickles my ear, or right over my eyebrow so I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to.
• My lap, while I am on the toilet, or at the desk, but not just on my lap. On my lap, after kneading for a while, and then with two paws sprawled over one, or both, of my arms so I can't move it or incur the wrath of the claws.
• My shoulder, draped over my shoulder, with her hind legs on one arm, and her nose buried in my hair.
• The newspaper that I am reading - which is quite common and I understand to a point - but does it have to be in such a way so her tail goes IN the milk from my cereal bowl and then all over the newspaper I am still trying to read?

And then, and then, if the imposition was not enough, should I choose to move, my arm, leg, paper or nose, I get such a look of disgust, sometimes an irritated meow and then complete snubbing for a day or so. Until I sit in a position that appears comfortable to the feline again. Then all is forgiven and we are friends.

This is me, with where the cats sat.