I'm flying solo this weekend because Tarzan is out of town at Youth Conference and I decided to stock up on the romantic comedies (RomCom to those in the know) that would make him gag if he were here.
And as the crushes unfolded I noticed a trend.
Enter two people who are put, put themselves or find themselves in a complex situation where they discover things about the other person. When the twist in the plot comes each finds they prefer the person they know, despite the surprises, mishaps, miscommunications and cue the happy ending.
I, at least, have frequently dismissed movies as fictitious, exaggerated and generally unrealistic, but the principle here is not as unlike life as I originally thought. Getting to really know a person - not the superficial stuff, but genuine things - is the best way to fall in love with them.
In short, time spent is affection earned. Which is something I have heard my whole life but didn't really get until now. And it's brilliant.
A guy named Spencer once wrote:
"Soul mates” are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price. …"
-Spencer W. Kimball
This is me, and lest you think I based the preceding on a small selection, let me list a few: The Proposal, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, The Wedding Planner, 50 First Dates, Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past, The Notebook, Shallow Hal and parts of others. (I did say I "stocked up.")