Then They Wonder Why She Pulled Out An Axe

I realize that autism is a real thing. It has to be really frustrating for the families and the individual being unable to communicate the way they want to. I feel for all of those involved and I support any methods that help people function.
I also know that Attention Deficit Disorder is a real thing. And for a lot of people who can't concentrate, can't focus, can't hold a job, the medicine does help. I certainly know the benefits of medical research and I am all for treating a disorder/problem/disease with a methodology that works.
But do not, DO NOT, tell me that your kid needs drugs/therapy/ just because they won't do as you say. Let's take an example of a situation I am tangentially familiar with. An "undocumented" alien I see periodically, has three kids, all by different, absentee fathers. She doesn't have a job, her phone number changes monthly, she can't get anywhere on time and when she does come to an activity she spends her time telling her kids to leave her alone so she can talk to the grown ups, or she lavishes attention on the baby and ignores the older two children. The older two have personalities now, you understand, and talk back to her, refuse to obey, throw tantrums, act out and generally be kids whose parent(s) is ignoring them. They have no father, no security, they don't eat healthily, the kids don't get enought sleep, they aren't doing well in school and they get no attention unless they are so irritating that their mother has to notice them. Does she take any of this into account? No. No, she does not. She has them both tested for autism and ADD and ADHD and when the results are negative she gets second opinions. And third opinions. And then talks about how the health care system is not helping her.
Why does it never occur to people that their kids are monsters because they SUCK AS PARENTS?

This is me, and nothing - NO THING - bugs me more than people who blames their kids for their own shortcomings.