Thursday, June 18, 2009

Then They Wonder Why She Pulled Out An Axe

I realize that autism is a real thing. It has to be really frustrating for the families and the individual being unable to communicate the way they want to. I feel for all of those involved and I support any methods that help people function.
I also know that Attention Deficit Disorder is a real thing. And for a lot of people who can't concentrate, can't focus, can't hold a job, the medicine does help. I certainly know the benefits of medical research and I am all for treating a disorder/problem/disease with a methodology that works.
But do not, DO NOT, tell me that your kid needs drugs/therapy/ just because they won't do as you say. Let's take an example of a situation I am tangentially familiar with. An "undocumented" alien I see periodically, has three kids, all by different, absentee fathers. She doesn't have a job, her phone number changes monthly, she can't get anywhere on time and when she does come to an activity she spends her time telling her kids to leave her alone so she can talk to the grown ups, or she lavishes attention on the baby and ignores the older two children. The older two have personalities now, you understand, and talk back to her, refuse to obey, throw tantrums, act out and generally be kids whose parent(s) is ignoring them. They have no father, no security, they don't eat healthily, the kids don't get enought sleep, they aren't doing well in school and they get no attention unless they are so irritating that their mother has to notice them. Does she take any of this into account? No. No, she does not. She has them both tested for autism and ADD and ADHD and when the results are negative she gets second opinions. And third opinions. And then talks about how the health care system is not helping her.
Why does it never occur to people that their kids are monsters because they SUCK AS PARENTS?

This is me, and nothing - NO THING - bugs me more than people who blames their kids for their own shortcomings.

2 comments:

RHM said...

This reminds me of a story I heard recently about parents who have decided not to tell their child 'no'. And he hates his car seat. So he doesn't ride in one. In fact--he just bounces around inside the van. I wouldn't be for it, but if he was at least tied down on a seat..I'd be more inclined to look the other way. But really, things like this story aren't only sad but also make my job all the harder when I tell my student 'no', or 'this is a rule. follow the rule.' and my kids are testing positive for ADD and Autism.

Rocketgirl said...

Ug, how annoying!! I am barely a good parent, but I hate when I see people not even trying. Nip the behavior in the bud, people, or get a hobby other than unprotected sex!

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