Thursday, December 11, 2008

Twelve Months

One year.
So short in some regards. (I can't believe it's Christmas again. It seems like just yesterday I was working on the Christmas program for church. And those cursed Christmas cards!)
But it's a long time to spend when you're missing someone. This time last year we were all in shock and in some ways it still hasn't sunk in. I refer to them as a pair even now, QC and MQ, and to MQ in the present tense - she likes, she does, rather than she liked and she did. I haven't deleted her from my instant messaging program - we chatted all the time - and I don't know if it's because I'm lazy - which I am - or because if I do, it will mean she's really not going to sign on and talk with me about our mother-in-law or her kid or how to deal with the O'Grady men.
I've always thought of myself as a practical person - and certainly not an overly sentimental one - but maybe I've not accepted it yet.
QC is making it. Not the way he wanted and it's not easy but he's doing it. Stop on over and leave him a note if you're so inclined. And I am so proud of his strength and the love that has grown out of this tragedy amongst both the families. We've done a lot in the last year and both QC and MQ have been part of it. I think we're closer as a family than we might have been. Which is a small comfort, I know, but it lets us carry on.
Nothing really helps but I refer you to this blog that I read. Her husband died in April 2007 and she has twins to raise alone. I can't imagine how anyone feels in a situation like this but I have found Snickollet's words and advice to be very helpful when talking about and dealing with grieving. It's not exactly the same, hers wasn't so sudden, but it has helped me know what to say, what not to say, what to help with and how to offer.
This is her One Year post. And just recently.
It doesn't make the pain go away, but time does let us move on.

This is me, and we're still missing you MQ.

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