Unconnected

Is it amusing to anyone else that when I found out Wednesday our phone had not been receiving calls for who knows how long, my first thought was: what an awesome blog post this will make!
Yes, I am slightly psychotic, thank you for asking.
The facts are these: Tarzan called - my cell phone - to ask why our - house - phone was disconnected. (His cell phone was dying and felt I needed to know that so if I called and got voicemail I would know he wasn't ignoring me. Remember the psychotic part above? Yeah, he sure knows me.) I called the phone company - from the house phone, meaning we could dial out, just not receive - to ask what had happened. They said our number was being ported to another service provider and I would have to call to figure it out. So I called the other company and THEY said there was no record of our name, number or address in their computer and so they surely weren't porting our phone number. I called the first group back to tell them my findings, got a different person, naturally, and they said, they would try and cancel the request. That night someone called us and we figured it was all fixed. Great story right?
But wait, it gets better.
I got home from the food bank, where I volunteer on Thursdays, and found our Internet modem blinking a nasty red light and the phone didn't work at all. I called the phone company AGAIN and apparently it was after hours because I got routed through some little town in darkest Africa where the dude had such a delay on the phone he only heard half of what I said.
"My Internet is not working and neither is my phone."
"Your Internet is not working? Have you tried resetting in from the back of the modem?" (I certainly had, twice.)
"Well, my phone doesn't work either, are the two related maybe?"
"The phone doesn't work? Have you tried unplugging it from the wall?"
...
Anyway, I went through that futile exercise in order to get a problem number to give to a repairman the next day only to have the connection severed right as my helpful agent started to read it to me. Gah! So annoying. Do you know how many hours a night I spend on Facebook? I think you do.
There's more.
So Friday, yesterday, I called the phone company yet again, only to have them tell me the cancellation had not gone through, our number had ported and the disconnect order for the Internet had begun. And apparently it can't be stopped for 3-5 days; they could reconnect my phone, but I would have a different number. And since it also takes 3-5 days to set UP the Internet, I will not be connected again until Wednesday - WEDNESDAY people - and then next Friday I will have to call and see if they can change my phone number BACK to what it was before. Turns out the company they thought had requested our number - who still had no idea what I was talking about - has very similar request codes as our cable TV provider. The TV people had requested our phone number and disconnected our Internet so they could bundle our services in one bill - not a bad idea in principle - but I hadn't said do it and they didn't tell me it was going to start. That's the last time I am nice to a telemarketer.
In the meantime I am snatching time wherever I can, even if it means enemy territory over here on the other side of town at ATL's apartment.

This is me, a girl's got to keep her Mafia Wars score up.