Not For Young Readers

Warning: Please be advised, the following contains material with adult themes. You probably shouldn't let the children read it.

Are we alone now?
...
Sure?
...
Okay good.
...
So, one of my jobs; being a personal assistant. And that means I do a lot of random things; file bills, laminate photos, highlight instructions, walk the dog, pull weeds, fetch the mail, chop vegetables for dinner, etc.
But.
Perhaps the weirdest/oddest/strangest/most bizarre thing I have ever had to do was order a vibrator for a 79 year old woman.
Yes, yes I did.
If it helps at all, I don't think she knows what it is that she asked for. In the catalog it was labeled as "intimate massager." It was circled on a page with other, more innocuous massagers.
What does not help is that when it arrived she instructed me to figure out how to charge it and how to turn it on.
And even after all that, I still don't think she knows what it is she asked for.
But I do and I will never be able to get that out of my mind.

This is me and the things that I do at work...