As part of this job, working for Tarzan's Aunt Richie, I have been asked to take one of her granddaughters - making her my second cousin I think...by marriage? - on her college tours. Aunt Richie is not able to walk college campuses like she once was and driving places outside of her neighborhood make her nervous.
We have been to a few this summer, but today's was truly memorable.
Let me preface this with; it has been a while, but I remember what college was like and I remember my presentation style and I know what a big deal it was to have a job and the insecurity of almost-but-not-quite-being an adult.
So I sympathize with our tour guide, I really do.
But honey, there are more descriptive words in the English vocabulary than 'cool,' 'fun' and 'awesome.'
Don't tell us you are a junior and still haven't picked a major.
Don't tell the parents there that their kids are going to break the law when they move in. It might be true but don't tell them straight out.
Next, know your own campus. It does not bode well to get lost on your own school grounds.
Lastly, do not interrupt your scripted blurb - the only one that was actually informative - to comment on the sweater of one of the tourees.
This is me and I could have done a better job without knowing a thing about the school.