Monday, February 23, 2015

Frustration

It's not a new thought and it's not original to me, but I wish babies came with a digital readout, or colored buttons, or a mood ring at least, to let us know where they were emotionally.
It's fairly easy to manage physical stuff; food and clothing and a bed, pain or temperature, but are they happy here with us?
Cheetah gets this look on his face sometimes - maybe it's not indicative of his emotions, maybe babies don't have them yet? - and he looks so pitiful and forlorn, like maybe he needs something he isn't getting.
Maybe he doesn't even know he isn't getting it (whatever 'it' is) but it makes me paranoid.
I recall the LDS urban legend about the young child who climbs into the crib with his newborn sibling and asks "tell me about heaven, I'm starting to forget," which of course makes me all teary (see my previously mentioned soggy state of affairs) and I wonder.
Is Cheetah sad that he's here? Is he getting enough love and snuggles?
Does he remember heaven? Is he starting to forget? Does that make him sad?
Does he wish he picked a different family? What could I be doing better?
And I regret putting him down (on a blanket where he worked on his gross motor skills very diligently with no complaints) so I could go to the bathroom and unload the dishwasher this morning.

This is me, wondering whether he's regretting coming here.
(Good golly I'm getting maudlin in my old age.)

2 comments:

Flying squirrel said...

Awww, he's not unhappy there! He's probably just working his facial muscles. Maybe he just has sad resting face?

Cathie said...

I guarantee he's happy to be here! But it *is* a big adjustment. I have a picture of P from the car ride home from the hospital (because OF COURSE I sat in the back with her) and her face is so...bemused. Like, "What did I get myself into?"

From Whence You Cometh