Halloween 2012

This year, I'm going as exhausted:

This is me, HAPPY HALLOWEEN everybody!

Daily View

For the next two weeks, Stingy's (Tarzan's cousin) nanny (for the 16 year old) will be out of town, which means no one is available to walk the dog every morning.
Enter me.
I am one of these employees who can be asked to file, laminate, dice, chop, bake, dig weeds, get groceries, run an open house, return a phone call, make a reservation, cancel a reservation, online shop, show a house and now walk the dog.
(All in the same day.)
I've never walked a dog before. We've always had cats, and a cat would throw up in my shoe if I suggested a leash or taking them for a walk.
It's been interesting.

Fortunately, the dog is so starved for attention that she doesn't mind my inept attempts to keep her in line. And she's decently sized and not about to need carrying, which is a plus:

(She also doesn't like to sit still for photos. That was the best I could get.)

What kills me is the neighborhood I walk through with this dog. Stingy's house:

The house next door:

And the view from the top of the hill:

This is me and it could be worse.

Poor Thing

I almost felt sorry for the poor little telemarketer that called Aunt Richie's house today.
Of course, I almost laughed at him too, so I guess it's fair.
The phone rang and she answered - which is rare enough - then comes back to the office and says the phone call doesn't sound right, that it's 'suspicious."
Apparently the guy on the phone needed someone to be in front of the computer while talking to him because we "might have a virus."
Already I knew it was a phishing scam but I picked up the phone anyway and asked what he needed.
He directed me to look at the bottom right corner of my screen for the Windows button.
I had to interrupt at this point and tell him we didn't have Windows, but were running Mac OSX 10.6 instead.
I could hear his disappointment as he answered, "Oh? Oh. Oh, well, I guess your computer is fine then. You...probably don't have a virus."
I could well believe he cried when he hung up the phone he was so deflated.

This is me, and I almost asked if he had a protocol script for Mac OS. But I didn't.

Different Cat, Same Question

The last picture was of my cat Spike:

This is Lantern. Little bit older, little bit wiser animal.

Why does she choose to sleep in the old cracked plastic planter:

Rather than the comfy, lined bed around the corner?

This is me and I have real content coming, I promise.

Statistics

I was reading random stuff on the Internet one day and passed this trivial article.
I didn't think anything of it really - though I do try and choose the shortest line even if the people have a full cart - until I was in line at the market today.
For timing, it matters not how many or how few items a customer has in their cart if they forget their wallet in the car, send a kid out to get it, the kid doesn't come back right away, brings more items with them when they do get back and a discussion follows about which items they will actually be purchasing on this day.
Good thing I wasn't on a schedule.

This is me and it's the little things that matter.

Curses!

I was driving home from work - my first day back after three days of coughing and blowing my nose - and I was struck with a great idea for a blog post. Something thought provoking and slightly serious - as opposed to the fluffy posts of late that I have been tossing out - and important!
It was so important and it would have evolved into a fantastic online chat room/discussion sort of thing with people from all walks of life weighing in and everyone would be respectful and listen to everyone's ideas and the end would have been a modest celebration of me because I started it all with the great subject matter that I was thinking right then.

And I can't remember what it was.
I would have written it down immediately - it was that good - but I was driving and I am a law-abiding driver - at least I am now - and never text or write while my car is on. And by the time I got home it was gone from my brain.
I've been trying to get it back with recreating the scene in  my mind, actually getting back into my car to see if it would shake loose.
But no.

This is me and it was going to be legendary.

Every Time

I know, not everyone loves cats as I do, but the pictures that have become de riguer lately, sometimes known as LOLZCats, makes me laugh and I dare you to not crack a smile at this one:

This is me. I have lived it and I still think it's funny.

Today

Today is just too nice of a day to be stuck inside coughing up a lung.

This is me and my throat hurts too.

Vicious Circle

In order to get things done around the house, I need a day off of work.
To get a day off work means I'm sick.
When I'm sick I don't want to to anything around the house.
(Or anywhere)

This is me and I see a problem with this senario.

Finally Cool

When I was in 3rd grade we had these hearing/eye tests at school and the end result was I had to get glasses.
Living where we did when I was nine, it didn't occur to me to be concerned about sunglasses until I was in college and came to The Jungle. Then it became apparent that I was in need of some.
I am really nearsighted so I can't do what Tarzan does, take off his specs and wears his shades. It doesn't work well wearing a pair over my regular glasses.
I hear some of you saying, what about contacts Jane?
Well, my eyes are a weird shape - let's discuss my mouth and ears shall we? - and contacts just don't take. So, I have had to squint a lot and wear clip-on sunglasses because my eyes have changed every year of my life and our medical insurance covers one pair at a time. Oddly, Tarzan and I have always chosen everyday wear for our glasses rather than selective wear. Weirdos that we are.
Until this time around.
My prescription did not change this year and BLESS ME! I got prescription sunglasses:

( I am surprised at how well the passenger in the adjacent car came out in that shot.)
It's been cool. I can see stuff in daylight and I don't have headaches and there's enough surface area to protect my whole eye. I can withstand reflections from the car in front of me!:

This is me and it only took 27 years.

Sunday - The Highlights

The dramaz, oh the dramaz.
A few weeks ago there was a big stake meeting where our congregation was moved to another building to share with a group already there.
This was a BIG deal to some of the people in both congregations and today was our first day in the new building.
So in addition to adjusting to a new schedule, new rooms, sharing with a group that doesn't speak English and I speak nothing but, trying to find our hymnbooks - which had been packed and moved yesterday - and running around in a building with the A/C out, I ALSO had to placate women annoyed at being there, stave off a 68-year-old hysterical fit out in the courtyard and THEN referee a cat fight between two ladies who don't speak English as a first language.
It was an exhausting day.

This is me and it's hard to be in charge.

The Real Problem

While I appreciate that a large portion of the country cares very much about how to handle the undocumented immigrant population in the ways of health care, education, employment and all that - and I appreciate the focus on deporting those that are breaking the law in a violent way as opposed to just hopping the border fence - and I know there are a zillion things for the lawyers and congressmen and President to be doing in the capitol, *I* feel I would be less bitter about the whole thing if the method of applying for legal residence didn't take SO. AMAZINGLY. LONG.
*I* feel that if those who were applying for residence the way the country recommends were at the top of the list, rather than bumping those who have just shown up - and in a lot of cases don't want to even learn the language - then the country would not be so angry about "illegal aliens."
If it takes 6-8 months to apply and be granted legitimacy through this Dream Act thing and 6 YEARS the "proper" way, why the heck not do it illegally?
I ask you.
(Can I also mention this is completely a bipartisan complaint. No party has ever proved able to speed up the application process for persons following the rules.)

This is me and *I* think it would work better.

Taking Notes

I wish I could be this unconcerned and totally relaxed when I slept:

This is me and life must be fantastic as a cat.

Mundane

Should I be concerned about how excited I am over a credit card offer that will give me *instant* money off my grocery purchases rather than points to put toward plane tickets for an exotic location?

This is me; we eat more than we travel anyway right?

Ironic

One would think it would be a goal of the manufacturer/packaging agent to not make it complicated to get into the pain reliever container...

This is me and if I didn't have a headache before, I would have one now.

Ode To A Girl

This is more a tribute than an ode I would say but it's a tradition to call it an ode. And one shouldn't mess with tradition.
This ode is for Tarzan's sister, Rocketgirl, whose birthday is the day after mine. She is a lovely person, so talented and funny. And so very devoted to doing what she should be doing, even if she doesn't want to.
That is one of the traits I admire most about her. She does what is right and what is kind and what is truly important. Even if it isn't convenient for her and her place in life. I need to cultivate that skill more.
Thanks for the example Rocketgirl! I love you.

This is me wishing a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! to my first sister-in-law.

Plus Six

It is that time of year again, if you can believe it, because I sure can't.
My birthday.
At dinner, Tarzan asked me what my birthday means to me and I had to think...One year closer to renewing my driver's license I guess. It's not like I have goals to achieve by reaching a certain age anymore. I can vote, buy cigarettes, drink and rent a car. I've hit all the milestones.
Taking stock of the last year, in no particular order, let's see what went down:

• I was called to be Relief Society President in our congregation.
• I got an iPhone! Now I can't imagine living without it
• Saw my baby brother graduate from high school, enter college and now he doesn't call me back because he's so grown up.
• Tarzan and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary.
• And went to the Rockies for Thanksgiving because Tarzan's parents will be out of the country for this year's celebration.
• Celebrated 5 years of this here blogging thing
• Was part of the entourage to watch the Endeavour shuttle being moved to it's new home.
• Saw BHB and Seth through engagement and wedding and into bliss
• Helped Tarzan coach his Academic Decathlon team to three medals and a "most improved" certificate.
• Took a hiatus from blogging while the world went insane and then came back with a vengeance.
• Saw Wicked for the zillionth time and loved it just as much as the first.
• Built a hay shed in the Desert
• Redid the front yard
• Took some mini-vacations with Tarzan including the Best Family Reunion EVER and a train ride home.

This is me and I am amused at how many people think I'm still in my 20's. That's a nice compliment every time it comes out.

No Promises

One other thing that bothers me about Fall; the volatility of the temperature.
65 degrees in the morning and I decide it's a good day to have pie for dinner.
By the time church is over, it's 92 degrees outside and the concept of turning on the stove makes me ill.
But I made the mistake of suggesting the pie idea to ATL and Tarzan and they are both high on the imagining. (We haven't made pie since it was cool enough to turn the stove on last April.)
So what am I to do about that?

This is me; we had pie and I had heat exhaustion. Good times.

Endeavour

This will no doubt reveal our living location - if you didn't already know where the Jungle actually is - but Tarzan thinks it's worth it:

The space shuttle Endeavour travelled through town today on it's way to the museum up the street and we went to view the maneuver:

I was interested but no one I saw today had the attitude of Tarzan. He was like a kid, he was so excited:

He lectured on the street corner, a la Aristotle, as we were waiting for the shuttle to trundle on down. (This thing was not fast, in any sense of the word.) Tarzan talked about the thrusters versus the engines, the tiles, the nose, the advent of the name, the size, the weight, the journeys, the history, and to anyone who would listen. There were a lot of people to hear him:

As "luck" would have it, the Academic Decathlon theme for this year is the space race, so we offered to take the team with us to see it, though only one was willing to go out in public with his teachers:

I did not catch the fever until the shuttle actually started rolling by. The left wing went right over our heads and it was as totally awesome as it sounds like it would be:

This is me and it was really cool.

What Have You Been Reading?

I'm looking for something to read these days.
I spend a lot of time at open houses and inspections and things where my presence is required but not my attention.
Thusly, I have been speeding through books at a much faster rate than usual.
I just finished Peony In Love and Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, both by Lisa See.
I've also read Wuthering Heights for the first time ever - don't judge - and a large number of James Patterson, as mentioned previously.
What I need are options, recommendations.
I will admit to preferring fiction, or historical fiction, to history or documentary type books. I also like long books, or series of books. I dislike getting into a book, becoming invested in the characters and then having it end. Silly, because all books end, but I like a longer journey.
Let me know some of your favorites.

This is me and what would you suggest?