Rescue Recycling

Does anyone else put their old magazines and catalogues in a specific trash can, knowing that the baby will cruise by at some point and pull them out and shred them all over the floor, in the vain hopes that he won't pull other things - like the books and church magazines - off the shelf/end table and shred them all over the floor?

This is just me perhaps?

Headache

Question: those of you who have nursed, bottle-fed or otherwise nourished your children when they were infants - bonus if you also wear corrective lenses - did you get a blinding headache between your eyes when feeding your child and/or a tension ache across your back, between your shoulder blades?
If so, what did you do to alleviate it?
If not, do you have any suggestions?
On the plus side, I pooped for the first time since Cheeta was born, so I assume I'm going to live. 

This is me and my forehead hurts a little.

The Things We Don't See

Tarzan was very proud and happy to eat this meal for dinner the other night:

So much so, he made me take a picture of it.
And only while getting ready to post it right now did I realize all the little things that made it into the frame that I hadn't noticed at the time.
Can you spot them?
1. My prenatal vitamins just hanging out there by my water glass along with
2. 1/2 the Friend magazine
3. Also the ground pepper flakes by my fork that are likely still on the table.
I also managed to get Tarzan's lemon and the tip of his knife but nothing else from his plate.
A food photographer I am not.

This is me needing to see before I click the shutter.

Always The Same Trouble

One morning, two weeks before Christmas, I woke up, got dressed and after brushing my hair out, this is what I had going on in the bangs area:

I tried with the fine toothed comb:

And it sprang right back:

I had needed one for a while but I decided it was time for a hair cut.
That same day.
I went to a place that allowed walk-ins, wasn't too expensive - it was a cosmetology school actually - and explained my dilemma. I have pictures from the last time I was happy with my hair, which was when PhatFiddle got married - he has two kids now - and try to get hair stylists to copy it. I have tried this the last four times I got my hair done.
This time, I came out with something a little different than what I asked for:

But I really like it.
A lot.
The trouble is, I can't recreate it on my own. I ignore the back and let it dry as it will. I don't have time every day to blow dry my whole head and doing the back is annoying anyway and I don't care if it's a little less straight.
My bangs, however, I take more time with. I don't let them air dry, or pin them down, I use a styling serum, I blow them straight out and then up, for volume, and then over in a wave. I do it everyday and they won't go the way they are supposed to.
Anyone? Thoughts?

This is me and I can't get it right at home.

It's What We Do

Please tell me - conspicuous consumers that we, as a country, are - why there is not an option for US of A on the website? I can order things with a credit card that is a citizen of Africa, China and/or Australia, but not America.
What's with that?

This is me, feeling a little put out.

Rodents Anyone

Does anyone know what makes holes like this:

In December, in the Jungle?
We don't have snakes, I don't think possums burrow. It's too small for a rabbit...
Rats? Mice?

This is me and it's really round and not very deep.

Where Are The Flames?

I'm pretty sure a Maserati was a fancier car when I was a kid:

Didn't it used to have rotating headlights and sharp angles and tailpipes everywhere?

This is me and I remember it snazzier.

The Way It Used To Be

I don't remember exactly what day I heard this. (NPR has a horrible filtering/sorting function.)
But I have an opinion about the piece, which was discussing what elected officials earn. Namely Presidents, Cabinet people, Congressmen and Senators.
And I think they are definitely paid too much.
It is my humble opinion that elected officials should be doing their job out of desire to make the country a better place and not a belief in their own 'divine right' like the kings of old that the US of A was founded on leaving behind.
They sure don't pay me a sizable sum to serve on jury duty. And the video that is shown at orientation talks about the civic responsibility and how our service with only token compensation keeps the system equal and fair and *I* would like to think if Washington saw it they would feel guilt for the desire to line their own pockets and not give two snaps at how greed affects the nation as a whole and we might actually get better suited representatives if those running for office understood that it wasn't a paid position.
It wasn't always a paid position. Or not a large compensation. With a lifetime of Secret Service and a pension forever.
'Back in the day' Congressmen and all those guys had jobs outside of serving the country and when they weren't in session, they went home to their jobs. Their living. Their lives.
I think it was a better philosophy.
Your thoughts?

This is me and there would be less drama and maybe more work done.

Because 13 Years Isn't Enough

Is anyone else in their car so much that they hear the same segment on NPR more than once in a day? There are days when I hear every edition of Marketplace and they're identical...
In my desire to hear the funny, quirky things, I hear other things repeatedly. And I have noticed that NPR certainly likes to beat the inflammatory topic drum.
Here's my (next) question for you: how do you feel about Pre-Kindergarten being required and why?
All I know is that my parents worked hard when I was growing up, one or both of them, multiple jobs, etc., and yet all nine of us learned to read and count before we went to school. What's the push for pre-K? When do children get to be children?

This is me, looking for another perspective.

Auditorial

Does anyone else find that you don't hear your phone ring even when it's in your pocket, but you can hear your voicemail alert from halfway across town?

This is me, or is it just me?

Brighter

Why are there not any green or yellow or PINK buildings in downtowns?

This is me and it would be pretty.

Suggestions?!

So, there's a wedding coming up at church. It's not usual for us to have to plan and execute a ceremony - typically weddings are at the temple and it's all taken care of - but this is a special circumstance and so in a few weeks we're hosting a wedding at the church.
What I need from you, dear readers, is a suggestion for music for Tarzan to learn to play in time for the wedding. He's good, but doesn't have a lot of time to spend on learning hard stuff.
We need a nice piece or series of easily blendable pieces that are pretty, not hymns, fairly simple piano works that are also appropriate for a wedding.

This is me and it's a lot to ask but you're good peeps.

Besides Pancakes

Does anyone have ideas for what to do with literally 1/2 a gallon of maple syrup?
We had a "service project" for the Young Women of the Stake and they needed Mrs. Butterworth containers - but empty ones - with about a week's notice.
So I have A LOT of maple syrup in my kitchen.
We don't even live in an area getting snow this time of year, so no making candy in the back yard.
And there's only so many times one can eat pancakes and waffles.
Ideas?

This is me and it could get sticky.

What Have You Been Reading?

I'm looking for something to read these days.
I spend a lot of time at open houses and inspections and things where my presence is required but not my attention.
Thusly, I have been speeding through books at a much faster rate than usual.
I just finished Peony In Love and Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, both by Lisa See.
I've also read Wuthering Heights for the first time ever - don't judge - and a large number of James Patterson, as mentioned previously.
What I need are options, recommendations.
I will admit to preferring fiction, or historical fiction, to history or documentary type books. I also like long books, or series of books. I dislike getting into a book, becoming invested in the characters and then having it end. Silly, because all books end, but I like a longer journey.
Let me know some of your favorites.

This is me and what would you suggest?

To My Tree Doctor

Dear Tree Doctor;
I have a book that explains fruit tree care and it says to prune my apricot tree in the fall after all the leaves come off and to remove all the suckers. It has diagrams of the Y-shape I am supposed to utilize and mentions to not let any branches point downward or off the bottom of another branch. Then it says to fertilize the tree shortly after and in the spring I should get leaves, blossoms and eventually fruit.I did all the trimming and fertilizing and the tree did put out leaves and blossoms, in fact, many blossoms this year:But it didn't stop there, all the blossoms fell off and the tree is growing out of control:How do I make the tree put the spring effort into making fruit and not into making more branches?Thank you for your assistance.
This is me, respectfully Jane.

Apocalypse Now

What has the world come to when Costco does not have egg rolls OR mini-quiches available for purchase? Costco was built on the certainty that mini-quiches were there. All the time.
I know, I know, your Costco has those snacks available. But because I need them for the Relief Society Birthday Party tomorrow, they are not to be found.
It's just been one of those days.

This is me and it's a travesty.

Letter To The Universe

Dear Universe,
Is there any way the 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there, 30 minutes spent waiting for a person who promised to be ready when you arrive to get her doing her a favor but lost track of time at a place that shouldn't be mentioned in polite society, could be collected up and used as one block of time?
It would make my life so much more efficient.
And I know that's what you want as much as I do.
Nature abhors a vacuum, I hear.

This is me and thanks.
Jane

Suggesting To My Mind

So, the human mind is a weird thing. (As I am sure you are aware from my multitude of Weird Dreams.) But beyond my nightly brain dumps are the images and sensations that develop over the years and we aren't even aware of it.
Take tonight for example. It wasn't a cold day by any means, not baking but in the mid-60's. Fine for the last day of November in The Jungle. Even when the sun went down it didn't get too chilly. But right around 7pm this wild wind picked up and started blowing things around. Fairly heavy things, boxes, cans, chairs, trash bags. It blew and blew for almost an hour. (Poor outdoor kitties had their water bowl all filled with leaves and dirt and rocks and stuff.) As soon as the wind started howling - and it was howling, which is weird for here; there's not much room to pick up speed for a howl - I got really cold. Even being in the house, where it was warm, in my sweats and eating warm food, I was chilly and shivering. I can only suppose it comes from my time in The Frozen North where winds like that brought ice storms and blizzards and things like that. Don't know. But it started me thinking; what other sensations come from our past but trigger vivid feelings?
Does fire make you extremely warm too? Even if you're outside and taking two steps from the BBQ pit will start the ice forming on your nose does the feel of the fire make you think of July and heat waves?

This is me and am I just totally nuts?

Noticed In The Bathroom Mirror

Whenever someone in a movie or on TV brushes their teeth I comment that they must not be using real toothpaste because there isn't any foam. (I'm a stickler for details like that.)
Then, this weekend, as I was brushing my teeth at Tarzan's parents house I noticed *I* wasn't getting any foam. Same technique, same brush, same toothpaste as I use at home. Different results. And again in the shower; my shampoo just didn't have it's usual suds. By that point I was paying attention and tried to make lather. It took some effort and it wasn't as airy.
Does anyone know if it's an altitude thing? Or an ocean thing?
Last night though, as I was getting ready for bed, my toothpaste was super foamy and that made me feel better.

This is me and things are back to normal now.

Last Meal

One of the writing prompts for NaBloPoMo has me pondering - which I suppose is the point - about my last meal. What would I choose for my last meal?
Which begs the question; why is it my last meal?
If, like they always show in the movies, I'm in prison and about to be executed, there is no way I'd eat. I'd be too freaked out to swallow anything. (It makes my throat close up to type it, let alone live it.) So, no.
If it was some operation thing, where my jaw was being wired shut for mouth surgery or whatever - it happened to my uncle when he broke his jaw - then it'd be all the chewy things I could think of. Steak and fat french fries, asparagus, carrots and apples. Food like that.
If I didn't know it was going to be my last meal, before I died of natural causes at 101 and I still had my teeth, I would have Asian food. Some Thai soup, good spring rolls, BBQ pork, an exotic vegetable mix, bao.
And there would be ice cream cake.
The right ice cream cake, not the one they messed up for my birthday this year. (So annoyed about that. Chocolate curls and graham cracker crumbs do not look the same, ever.)

This is me and it's a tougher question than it initially seems. What would you have?