One Of Those Days

After a day of church where the Primary President doesn't show up, meaning I have to do her job as well as mine and Singing Time, then speak in sacrament, manage the almost-1 year old (!!!), get home, pack the car and get on the road for the two hour drive to my parent's house for Cheetah's day-before-his-birthday party (!!!) guess whose car blows a tire 15 minutes before we exit the freeway to Nana's?
That would be ours.
After my sister came, from my parent's house, to fetch Cheetah and I from the car while Tarzan waited for the AAA guy to come we sat down two hours late to dinner and waited for Tarzan to return from the (finally) profitable hunt for a tire store somewhere in the middle of nowhere to have cake and open presents we left for home with barely enough time to make the two hour return trip, unpack the car and a totally zonked Cheetah, brush our teeth, type this post and fall into bed, barely making the deadline for it to still count for Sunday.

This is me and we have some crazy adventures.

So Close

My arms are short.
I don't know if they're short disproportionally or just short because I am. Short that is.
But because of my stature, and because I drive a convertible which has long doors, and because the seats are low, when I have to take a ticket from a parking kiosk I need to drive my car very close and sometimes I still have to lean way out the window to snag one. Many times I have to put my car in park and open the door, which involves taking off my seatbelt, to reach the ticket slot. And referring to the sentence above about having large doors on my car, that can have it's own challenges with clearance on posts and things.
So it was with great delight that I managed to get close enough to the kiosk yesterday, to not only push the red button, but also to grab the ticket when it clicked out of the machine.
And then I almost cried when it tumbled out of my fingers and fluttered softly to the ground.
Wherein I had to put the car in park, take off my seatbelt, open the door, try not to smash the door against the offending kiosk, and pat around on the ground for the ticket. While people honked at me from behind.

This is me lucky it did not go under the car.

Where Are The Flames?

I'm pretty sure a Maserati was a fancier car when I was a kid:

Didn't it used to have rotating headlights and sharp angles and tailpipes everywhere?

This is me and I remember it snazzier.

Post Script

I knew there was one more thing!
I forgot to mention that last Sunday, after all the auto insanity, and the weekend with the missionaries and dinner and work and all of that, I was getting in my car after church, to take a friend home...
And the passenger side mirror was gone from the door. Not the whole thing, wires weren't hanging out or anything. In fact, the mechanism that turns the mirror were quite visible, and when I used the knob inside, I could see it turning the nonexistent reflective surface. No, just the mirror surface had been popped off.
And again - because Chrysler makes such fancy cars - they couldn't just replace the individual piece, they had to order and replace the entire apparatus. So that was two more days in the shop.

This is me with really low mileage this month.

Three-peat!

And it's Jane with another epic car story. FTW!
Seriously, this has not been a good month for my car.
Not long after the key experience at the beach I was driving my car as usual and the electrical light came on the dashboard. I have been having some trouble with the sensors in my car recently; had to get one cleaned and another one replaced, so I called the auto shop - we are on REALLY good terms with them - to see how serious they thought it was.
Verdict was, it shouldn't damage the car provided I drive it to them right away and not take the freeway.
Fair enough.
I was on my way to work when it happened, so I finished what I had scheduled for the day - no driving of the car involved - and headed over to the mechanic. Now I do work on the other side of town from the mechanic. 15 +/- miles. I drove carefully but as I kept going I noticed that electrical components of the car were shutting down. First the radio turned itself off, then the lights on the dash got dimmer.
At this point I know, I KNOW! I should have pulled the car over to the side of the road. I really should have.
But I was so close to the last turn before the long, straight piece of road that runs by the car shop.
It was a left hand turn.
If you haven't guessed by now how it goes down, we are way too similar. (See above about pulling the car over)
I was in the left hand turn-only lane and the car shut itself off. No noises, no pops or explosions, just, 'I'm done. kthxbye'
I immediately put my hazard lights on and called AAA - yet again. It's such a nice service to have when you need it - but because it was an electrical problem with the car, the hazard lights DIDN'T WORK.
When the light turned green I looked like some moron on her phone who didn't notice. Oh the honking and the middle fingers I got from people going around me! Going around me on both sides - as in; into oncoming traffic to go around me - and honking and cursing. Did I mention the honking?
To be fair, AAA arrived in 12 minutes. It was not a long time I was stranded in the left, left hand turn-only lane, but in that amount of time, probably 4-5 cycles of the lights, only one person asked me if I was okay. One delivery truck driver yelled at me to turn my hazard lights on. Genius suggestion man! Wish I'd thought of it...
It didn't help that the ticking of the hazard lights in the car - which most certainly were on - were like some kind of a bomb waiting to go off.
In those 12 minutes, one car pulled up and asked if I needed help. I thought it was sweet of him because he got honked at for pausing. I flashed him my AAA card and my phone and mimed a thumbs up. He waved and carried on. I hope something special happens for him because of that small act of service.
Shortly thereafter the tow truck arrived and took me to my mechanic's place. Turned out the alternator was broken. (I know!) They replaced it fairly quickly and we are good.
For now.

This is me hoping there are no more chapters to this tale.

Wait, Wait, It Gets Better

You thought THAT was crazy?
It gets better.
Yesterday was Stingy's daughter's birthday party - a private beach party with rented cabanas, 'help' and we should all be so lucky - and it was my 'privilege' to assist in the event.
I got up early, donned my beach attire and trundled off to walk the dog, check on the work stuff, pick up the balloons and the Chinese Chicken Salads and head out to the beach. It was a nice drive up the coast, a good 15 plus miles, tiny secluded turn off to the long winding drive. In a horror movie this is where you'd be yelling at me to turn around and go home.
I pulled into the parking lot - there is a restaurant there - and knowing that I would have my hands full of teenagers and presents and balloons and food and relatives all day, I did the smart thing, put my phone in my pocket, unclipped my car key from my key ring and locked my purse and remaining keys in the trunk.
I took the balloons over to the cabanas, tied them in appropriate places and went back to get the salads, which were also in the trunk of my car.
I pulled out the key with the fob for the trunk and realized something horrible.
It was not my car key.
I had saved Tarzan's car key and locked mine in the trunk.
Oh yes. Go Jane.
Having read something vague on the Internet - it doesn't lie right? - I called Tarzan - reception was - naturally - almost non-existent up there in paradise - and asked him to use his key fob to try and unlock my door.
Not even.
I'm not sure if the wind was too high, the reception too poor or the Internet was pulling my leg but it would seem it is not possible to unlock a car over the phone. FYI.
The battery on my phone was draining rapidly - poor reception symptom - so Tarzan called AAA - lovely people - and asked how long it would take to unlock my car seeing as I was way up the coast and though I was early to set up the others would be along shortly and I had two gigantic Chinese Chicken Salads in the trunk.
Turns out, with my fancy car, they can't just pop the trunk open and if they unlocked the door there's no way to get to the trunk - cursed convertible - and the trunk release does not work if the car is off. So they had to call a locksmith to MAKE A NEW KEY which - of course - costs over and above the membership fee to AAA. About as much as I made working at the party that day.
Fortunately for me, the guy was not too far away and arrived in 30 minutes. Of course his call saying he was there did not connect because the isolation of the area. But the staff helped a little and we got my trunk open.
With Stingy and the rest of the help standing by and watching my epic adventure.
If Facebook is to be believed it was a smashing good party, no one died from food poisoning and I now have an extra key to my trunk to stash someplace special in case I need it.

This is me and I am skilled.

The Story Of My Keys

In the midst of all this bishop become-ing we were doing, was one of the craziest days I have ever lived. And there have been a few.
Let me tell you about it.
Last week, the office manager from the last place I worked for real, called to let me know that the architect in the office had passed away. (I had an inkling something was up because the only other time in five years she had called was when he had the heart attack before this one.) She told me they were having a memorial on Tuesday (last Tuesday) and would I like to come. I thought, sure. Time had dulled the wounds and it seemed like a nice thing to do.
So. Tuesday morning I got up, dressed in my funeral attire and headed west to the church. I saw all the guys from the office, got caught up with things, heard the service, which was lovely, and we all headed over to the hotel for a lunch. The hotel was near the beach and had valet - which was paid for - and did I mention that my car was sick and in the shop so I was driving Tarzan's car. (Had had to drop Tarzan off at work early in the morning, do my stuff and at the end of the day pick him up again.)
I left Tarzan's car with the valet and went to lunch, which was lovely, ate with the guys, MC was nice to me and we carried on a conversation of pleasantries - unusual - and went back up to the valet to get my car. Turns out the valet was NOT prepaid and so everyone in front of me was really angry about having to pay $14 for their cars. It irritated me too but what were we to do? The woman's father had just died, who was going to whine about having to pay for their car?
I got in my car, drove almost home, stopping at the store for some refreshments and supplies for the Spa Night we were having that evening.
Did I mention I had a huge combined Relief Society activity that evening? (Relief Society and Young Women for both our ward and the Spanish speaking ward we share our building with.)
I got home close to 4:00 and only when I got to the door of the house did I realize that I did not have my house keys on my key ring. Weird. I called the hotel - the only place I had not had my keys - and sure enough I had "dropped them." (Total lie.) However, there was not enough time to turn around and go all the way across town to the hotel, come all the way back and make it in time to get Tarzan and still get to the activity.
So we left my keys, I went to the school and borrowed Tarzan's keys in order to change and fetch other things for the activity, fetched him and we ate dinner in the car on the way to the church. The activity was a grand success:

 

(In my humble opinion) and Tarzan was very productive in his meetings.
But my keys were still on the other side of town.
I was able to get them the next day, after all the work stuff and the car nonsense - that's another story to tell, my poor car - but the dude at the desk made me wait forever for help and forever to fetch my keys from security and then insisted that I had dropped my house keys - off my key ring - and I was very fortunate that they had found them. I sort of think they wanted a tip at the valet desk but I was not in the mood.

This is me and this sort of stuff happens only to me.

Dirty, Mean & Vicious

Whoever thought of the organizational system for the Department of Motor Vehicles was a sick, sick person.
It seems like a good idea to have all the required vehicular services in one place and it would appear to be convenient to allow people to renew licenses and vehicles online but it really is just the first steps in their scheme to drive us all insane.
After going to the website and filling out the forms, paying the fees and printing my receipt I waited.
And waited.
And then the registration on my car expired while I was waiting and now I tremble in fear every time a police officer drives by.
Today I finally had enough time to call the "help" number and it seemed quaint that they offered me a callback option. That is, if I left my number in the phone tree queue, the DMV would call me back in less than an hour. It sounded good so I followed the simple instructions and waited.
Sure enough, less than an hour later I was called back but it wasn't a person it was the phone tree and it wouldn't accept my entry, even though it was the number the message told me to press and then I was told I had exceeded my number of attempts (I pressed it only 3 times) and they hung up on me.
So I called the original number back and while I was trying to get an actual person - they didn't have an option for "I really need my stickers now please" - the callback number called me again and I gave it a second try and AGAIN it wouldn't recognize ANY of the numbers I pressed and AGAIN it hung up on me.
So I called AGAIN and this time opted for a real person where I would have to sit on hold for an hour and wait for them.
Which I did.
When a real person answered I told him my dilemma, he said it wasn't a problem, he would transfer me to the department that could re-issue my stickers. I heard the hold music for a few bars and then I was back in the phone tree again, looking for a real person AGAIN and I had to wait ANOTHER hour and then when I did get a person - much more helpful than the last - she said they can't transfer to other departments and all I need to do is go to AAA and they will get me my stickers.
Done.

This is me and bureaucracy blows...a lot.

Transportation Issues

My car is sick, poor thing. Apparently the regulator for the motor that raises and lowers the window on the rear passenger side has failed.
And I need a new one.
Which is fine, except they're keeping my car for 3 days, 3! DAYS! to diagnose the problem (yesterday), order the part (today) and install it (tomorrow).
This puts a tiny crimp in our regular, tightly, down-to-the-second, don't-forget-the-last-minute-detail, scheduled days that Tarzan and I have worked 12 years to perfect.
He's on his bike for school since it's a mere 3 miles from home to there. And I have his car for the 15miles is it for me. As neither the bus nor train go to the neighborhoods where I work that is not a viable option. (I've thought it was a bit stupid of the neighborhood councils. All their 'help' come via public transportation. How do they get up and down the hill?)
Here's hoping this doesn't happen too often. We live in a car dependant city.

This is me and have just the one vehicle for a bit.

A New Car!

When Tarzan got home from work today, we went to look at cars.
There have been some really interesting deals in the newspaper lately and it's been six years for him in the Kia.
We went first to a Toyota dealership with an ad in hand, that just seemed too good to be true.
Turns out, it was. Apparently, a retraction was in the works. A decimal point had been moved two places to the left and so they wouldn't let us lease a car for $47.99 down and $100 a month for three years.
Go figure.
So that wasn't the place. But Honda had a better deal and Tarzan liked the feel.
He's very tall, with long legs, and most cars have him squished. The Accord did not. It also has a lot of nifty features; the tire pressure sensor, the valet key, the eco button, seat adjustment memory so he and I can switch back and forth easier.

So we got it:

Of course, for the moment we have three cars in our very little backyard:

Which is going to make parking an challenge.

This is me; does anyone want a fairly nice Kia Spectra?

Sad Thing

It was a normal Wednesday evening; I was coming home from work and exited the freeway as I usually do. There was a green truck in front of me who signaled and turned right. I coasted a little, glanced left and drifted right up under the rear bumper of the truck who had had to stop suddenly as someone else flew out of the driveway right in front of him.
And I crunched the front end of my car.
My pretty convertible got hurt:It was sad:Because I "hit" another car - the truck was fine BTW, in fact didn't even notice and drove right off without even looking back at me - we had to call the insurance people and they had me take my car to one of their recommended dealers. They were really nice of course, fixing me up with a rental.
A rental that looks remarkably like my original car:Very solicitous, concerned, trying so hard to be my friend. I was hoping for a little more anonimity I think. And I'm scared of what the final bill will be. They were offering to take out all the tiny little scratches and paint smears and promised a full detail job.

This is me, a little sad and guilty. And afraid of the price tag.

An Epic Tale - The Conclusion

Let's see.
The shed was finished on a Thursday and Christmas was the very next Sunday. We came home from my parents' house to be busy right away with Aunt Richie's Christmas party (it was a little weird to be a guest with the people I work with every day on the other side of the table serving me) and also rehearsals for the program at church. I was very excited about having Tarzan's parents and AuntReese involved. Not the least because Gamma offered to accompany most of the singing thus sparing me the lack of enthusiasm Tarzan has for learning new music. Also, she is much better at convincing him to practice than I am, and she knows what areas he needs to improve and I do not, so it was a real help to have her with us.
And when it all was done, the program went off with no obvious hang ups. One performer did not show. We skipped his acoustic guitar piece - probably the one I was most looking forward to and the most worried about - and the a Capella soloist went a little off-book but he did it well, so no harm, no foul. The youth chorus was probably the strongest; Tarzan and I sang with them. The missionary piece - We Three Kings - should have been fantastic. Gamma brought a really awesome accompaniment and AuntReese was exceedingly great improvising with her violin. The missionaries though, just didn't sing very loud. Though they had done okay in rehearsal it was tough to hear them in reality. The Primary were adorable as usual - the seven of them who were there; I guess it was Christmas - and the Elder's Quorum group was very good. Love me some bass/baritone harmony. So it was all alright.
After church we headed down a little south to see some family for dinner and sing some really old Christmas carols, really loudly with some personal interpretations, mostly by Tarzan. And that was Christmas Day.
I call the next four weeks My Month Of Airports. I am pretty sure there was a week near the end of December where I was at an airport every single day, dropping someone off, or picking someone up. Christmas Eve I fetched BHB to take her to our parents' and then the day after Christmas I fetched her back. (She got shafted on her holiday vacation this year, mostly because she broke her ankle and was on paid leave for a month in July.) M2, PIT and their children flew in the day after THAT; tickets from The Other Side Of The World being much cheaper that way. (My family had delayed our 'Christmas' until they were in town.) My brother and his family were down as well and the kids were just darling together. They were all enthralled with the roof coming down on my convertible so I took them each for a spin and PIT has some shaky but really hilarious video of them screaming from the backseat. My favorite part was LittleJ exclaiming his hair was coming off. (I wasn't going that fast.)
We stayed in for New Year's Eve - couldn't imagine needing things to get crazier - and I had to teach Relief Society on January 1st. I had not been to Relief Society in 15 years.
It was weird.Everyone was nice of course but it's much different than teaching the children. For one thing, if the kids misbehave I can pick them up and carry them down the hall to their parents. Not so if their parents aren't nice and won't let their neighbor finish a sentence. Again, a whole 'nother post.
BHB came back into town as soon as the new year opened - new year, new vacation schedule - and was with us for a week before she flew home with M2, PIT and Co. for a week there:(That's ATL, PIT, M2, BHB, Ecru in the stroller, Rosey on TOP of the stroller and Squishy to the right.)
When she came back from The Other Side of The World she was with us overnight and then flew out again, home.
Tarzan's parents flew home sometime in the week BHB was gone and then back in to do a fireside about Family History for our ward congregation. He's been at this for quite a long time, has visited a number of countries and has some amazing war stories to tell about his adventures. It was a very entertaining fireside with some colorful side notes from Tarzan and Gamma, clarifications when they thought MusicMan was getting to dramatic. But we had many positive comments from those in attendance and regret from those who missed out. The Stake is talking about having him come again on a larger scale. Then they were off again, home and to see other of their children.
That takes us through the middle of January.
By then I was too far behind to catch up in a short little post, I was swamped with things I "had" to do as Relief Society President - I didn't really but I didn't know that yet - we were neck deep in Academic Decathlon preparations - of which I did post a little - I was working crazy busy hours at Aunt Richie's and taking some side gigs with her daughter, Tarzan's cousin Stingy, and February slipped away. Even the 'extra' day we got didn't help me much.
Then BOOM, here we are in March and I hadn't posted in so long it was ridiculous.I almost decided to quit this blogging thing - several times in fact - because then the guilt might go away but at the same time I would take pictures or make notes and think "That needs to go on the blog."
So I repented of my wicked ways, spent much too long composing that first post back, and only now am getting back in the posting groove. The weather has been unpredictable but milder than previous years.
I hate the time change but I'm loving the sun up so late already.
This Relief Society thing is trying to kill me, but it'll get better, right?

This is me and that is my epic tale. And where I was for the past three months.

In The Dawn's Early Light

It was a clear, crisp morning in The Jungle. Bright and sunny and cool, a typical November day. ATL and I headed out to the car preparatory to taking her to work. As I rounded the rear of the car I noticed the result the combination the torrent of rain from the previous night and morning, the black fabric roof of my car and the early morning sunshine had made:

This is me with my iPhone coming in handy again for pictures.

Slightly Damp

The only down side I have found to owning a convertible is the possibility of a sudden rainstorm from a clear sky while on the freeway driving home from a family BBQ.

This is me and that would be it.

This Isn't Even A Hurricane Place

How is one supposed to keep a locked, metal, anchored, tied, jury-rigged, weighted carport down in 80MPH winds? (No worries, it wasn't sheltering my new car.)
Because our method just ended with all the joints being ripped and torn off and the long metal pieces flying through the air.
We are lucky no one got beheaded.

This is me and suggestions are welcome.

Judging By The Water Falling From The Sky

It's raining again.
I know I should be thankful - the rest of the country is getting snow by the bucket load - and happy because we need the water for watering crops and drinking and bathing and all that, but I'm not. It's wet and cold and annoying and unpredictable and I would like to drive around my own town with the top down on my car.
There I said it.
Now you can judge me for being selfish.
Don't worry about it, I am judging me.
It's not like I haven't lived through precipitation before. My second year of college it rained so much the water was up to my knees when crossing the street. And I did live in The Frozen North for most of my life.
But in neither place did I own a convertible and I have found it is much more fun to drive with the top down.
On the way home from my parents' tonight I was increasingly anxious about the whistling noises coming from my car. It's true there can be quite a breeze out in The Desert - every car whistles an extraordinary amount - but earlier this week I had driven LBO home from school - with the top down natch - and apparently we did not put it up correctly because on the way to school in the morning one corner popped out and freaked me all kinds of out.
So it made me nervous to hear noises, loud noises, while driving home. There aren't any noises when the top is down.
Of course tonight, it also started raining on the way home.

This is me and look what nice things do to me.

Raining And Pouring

Today makes the second day I have been able to drive my car. Once home from the dealership and then today.
Logistics being what they were, I was not able to take the new car to my parents house this week.
And today it was raining. Which means half of the time I drive my new car, I can't put the top down and what's the point of having a convertible if you have to drive around with the lid on it?


This is me, wondering what lesson I should take from this...

Behind Door #3...A New Car!

In the past couple of weeks my trusty Saturn has developed some transmission issues. As in it no longer likes reverse - at all - and shifting from 2nd to 1st gear requires some serious negotiations with the engine. (It's an automatic transmission.) I took it to our mechanic and he said it wasn't worth the time and money to fix/replace the sensors and parts and possibly the whole transmission complete. He would if we wanted but his suggestion was to get a different car.
Tarzan, not one to bemoan material possessions, immediately started looking at slightly used vehicles in our area.
I was a little bit sad; I've driven this car for nearly four years, we've been through a lot. My quitting my job, working at the high school, volunteering, parents moving three times, transporting A LOT of kids to church and school activities, taking cats to and from the veterinarian. We knew each other very well.
And then Tarzan found a sweet little car which we'd always talked about wanting but never had the nerve to buy because it's not as practical as our other cars and we feel guilty getting anything flashy. But the price was good, the dealer was down the road and it had really low miles.
We went, we looked, we drove, we paid, we brought it home.
So I went from this:Which was very dependable, had FANTASTIC gas mileage, but didn't have a lot of flair. Manual locks and windows and it was small, which mattered not to me but bothered Tarzan a little bit. It had an itty bitty motor with not much power.

Driving up hills was a job that had to be planned well in advance.

I went from that to this:

My dream since moving here to The Jungle has been to drive a convertible. They're very much 'the thing' here because of the fabulous weather all year and I have been just the slightest bit envious of the top down driving I see. I fully expect to love this car. There are some serious luxury items in this 2004 Chrysler Sebring; the heated seats for one. NEVER expected that. All I was hoping for was power windows and door locks - which it does have. It's standard on all Chrysler's I believe - but since we've never owned one we didn't know - to have the estimated mileage for each tank of gas, the estimated miles before refueling is required, average miles per gallon and length of time the engine has been on. All very snazzy.

I'm going to need to invest in some hats or scarves or something to keep my hair out of my face and it only seats four - instead of the standard five - but I think I'll be okay with that.

I've been hit on once already and I haven't owned it for 12 hours yet.

This is me, and my groovy new car.